I have no idea how long I stand frozen in place before I move forward and sink to the bed. I drop my head in my hands. I’m at a crossroads in my life, and I’m terrified. One path leads to Lia and my possible redemption and the other leads to a continued life of self-loathing hatred. Of the two paths, the first is somehow the most daunting because my love for her has given her complete control over my destiny.
Then another staggering thought rocks me. God, she might be pregnant. Has either of us given thought to what that could mean? We haven’t really discussed it since the night she told me about her doctor’s appointment. I don’t know if we’re in complete denial, or maybe some part of us doesn’t want to get our hopes up and have them dashed when it doesn’t happen. She has a follow-up appointment next week, and there is no way in Hell I’ll let her go alone.
I get to my feet and walk to the door with complete resolve. It’s past time for Lia to know everything I’ve been keeping from her. I can only hope that afterwards she’ll still love me. Because without her, my heart is fractured beyond repair.