I’ll admit I was a bit pissed when she started quizzing me about him earlier. She’s never asked me that many questions about Aidan or even Sam. I haven’t felt jealousy over a woman in many years, and even though I enjoyed the normalcy of it, I didn’t want to feel that way again where Lia was concerned. She was mine and I wasn’t letting her go.
She had worried me earlier when she’d first been so resistant to the news that her stepfather was dead, and then she had completely snapped when it finally hit her. People process grief in different ways, and I know that venting was her way. Her grief was not for Jim Dawson, but for the death of her innocence all of those years ago at his hands. At some point in their lives, every person carrying around rage inside eventually needs an outlet to purge it from their system. Lia had been fueled by hate for so long that the crash was inevitable.
I’m not naive enough to believe that just because he’s dead everything is suddenly perfect in her world. Her childhood was ripped from her hands, and she’ll never be able to fully erase the scars that were left behind. I also know that it’s ironic that I’m sitting here pondering her ghosts when I haven’t dealt with my own. I plan to start taking steps in that direction tomorrow, though. I’ve arranged to meet my aunt at the coffee shop down the street in the morning. I am going to tell her about my cocaine addiction and ask her to help me overcome it. I’ve long denied to myself that I’m an addict just because I don’t use every day, which is bullshit. If I wasn’t addicted, I would be able to walk away from it…and I can’t. I have to find the strength for myself and for Lia to leave my crutch behind. It has enabled me for years to push my demons aside instead of dealing with them. To be the person she deserves, I have to be the person I once was before Cassie and I ruined each other’s lives.
After I speak with my aunt tomorrow, I plan to talk to Lia about Cassie. It’s time she knew the complete story there. It’s not fair that I constantly preach full disclosure on her thoughts and feelings, yet I continue to avoid any of her questions about my past. What she must think I can only imagine, but sadly, I fear it’s not even close to the web of lies, hate, and betrayal that consumed my last year with Cassie. For all of the hate I feel for her, I know I’m to blame, as well. It’s likely that my actions were even the catalyst for her final break with reality. Some would call it survivor’s guilt, and I suppose that analogy is correct in a way. Out of Cassie, our child, and myself, I’m the only one who really still lives. Cassie may be alive, but she has been so lost in her own mind for the last eight years that she may as well have been dead. I think, in the end, as evil as she had become, she couldn’t deal with what she did so she retreated in the only way she knew.
“Luc…Luc…LUCIAN!” I jerk as Lia pokes me in the side. “Good grief, where did you go?” she jokes as I focus my thoughts on her. Sometimes it’s rather scary how you can drive a car for miles and be so deep in thought that you don’t remember the trip. I wonder if Lia was talking to me, while I’ve been ignoring her.
“Sorry, baby,” I say lightly as I shift the Range Rover into park and cut the engine. As usual, Lia had joked that she couldn’t believe I was driving and not having Sam take us in the Mercedes. I noticed Sam and Cindy leaving the office together earlier, so I didn’t think he would appreciate being disturbed on his date…or whatever the hell they do together. I don’t even want to go there. “I was just thinking over everything that has happened today.” I want to take those words back when I see her smile dim slightly. I’m sure the last thing she wanted was to have another postmortem on her stepfather.
She sighs, letting her head fall back against the headrest. “Yeah, it’s been a hell of a day, hasn’t it?”
I chuckle, tweaking her nose before opening my door. “That it has,” I say as I hurry around to help her out. Putting my arm around her as we walk toward the building, I lower my voice, saying, “All I want to do is get you naked and fuck you till you beg me to stop.”
She stops in her tracks, blinking up at me like an owl. She licks her plump lips and surprises me by saying, “What if I never want you to stop?” Then she drops her hand, cupping the hardening bulge in my pants. “How long do you think you can keep going?” She blushes adorably at her own bold question, making me almost blow my load in my fucking pants.
Pushing her against the building, I lower my body, letting her feel how much I want her. I rim the shell of her ear with my tongue, smiling as she shivers against me. I keep my mouth there as I whisper, “Don’t confuse me for a boy, Lia. After I fuck you once, you’ll feel it for a week. You’ll think of nothing but my cock tomorrow when you’re walking around with that sweet burn between your thighs. That’s all me, baby.”
“Ohhhh, myyy,” she moans and nearly sags to the ground when I suddenly release her.
I swagger away, calling nonchalantly over my shoulder, “Are you coming, babe?” I can’t help but notice, as I look back, that she’s already walking funny. Apparently, I don’t even have to fuck her to cause the sweet burn I was just enticing her with. She catches up to me just before I reach the door, wrapping her arms around me from behind and snuggling into my back. We stand there for a moment just enjoying the feeling of peace, which has been so elusive lately.
“So, Max was looking good tonight, right?” she teases before releasing me and running. I’m left standing on the sidewalk with my mouth hanging open. The little minx got me back. I grin and take my time catching up with her. She probably hasn’t realized that I still have the upper hand. Unless I’m mistaken, she doesn’t have her purse, which means she probably doesn’t have a keycard to the elevator so she’s not going anywhere.
As I stroll leisurely into the lobby, she’s standing at the locked doors with a look of chagrin on her beautiful face. “I saw that going so much better in my head,” she whines as she kicks the steel doors.
I pinch her ass, causing her to shriek…quite loudly. The concierge glances up from her desk in the corner frowning. I suspect that she never has sex and thinks we’re pigs because we obviously do. Hell, I’d almost do it right now against the marble walls of the lobby just to see how long it would take her to call the cops. Owning a penthouse here probably wouldn’t save me. Of course, what she doesn’t know is that I’m pinching the ass of her boss’s, Lee Jacks, daughter. That might actually buy me some serious ass-kissing…or not. She appears to hate men in general. Sam is terrified of her.