“He thinks I’m a weakness for you.”
Damon nodded slowly. “Which is precisely why I need to leave you behind. Our relationship ends here and now.”
Her heart nearly plunged to her shoes. It was over? So quickly? She’d known it would end, known it wouldn’t last long, but she’d wanted her weeks with him. She’d wanted a few weeks where she did more with her life than stare at a computer, translating mostly mundane conversations, listening in on other people’s lives.
She knew it was stupid. Just the day before she’d decided to guard herself against him, but she didn’t want to go back to the way it had been. She couldn’t stand the thought of him glancing her way without so much as a smile, just one of the hundreds of women who had loved him and who meant nothing to him now.
God, she was in love with Damon. It was silly to even think it wasn’t true. She’d been in love with him for a very long time.
He stared down at her, his jaw tight. “I won’t talk to you, Penelope. I won’t acknowledge your presence when you walk in a room. I will pretend you don’t exist. This was all about one single operation. That operation is over for you. I can’t use you anymore.”
She felt tears slipping from her eyes. She reached up and cupped his cheek. “Damon, I want to go with you. I don’t care about the risk.”
It didn’t matter that there were other people in the room. She couldn’t be one more person who disappeared on him.
He stepped away, his face going cold, eyes blank. “Penelope, I’ve done you a great disservice.”
“Don’t, Damon. I know what you’re going to do. Don’t.”
He didn’t look away from her. He looked right through her, like she was already gone, already relegated to some place in his mind where he shoved useless things. “I needed you to obey me. Getting you to believe yourself to be in love with me was the easiest way to go. You know I made a study of you. You were lonely. You had very little experience with sex. It was simple. I do have experience. I knew exactly what to say to you.”
Her heart was breaking because she did believe that he would do everything he said he would. He would walk away from her. He wouldn’t speak to her again. She would dream about him for the rest of her life and his last words to her would be about how he’d tricked her. “You told me it was real.”
He shrugged a bit, an aristocratic gesture. “I lied. Getting in your knickers was the best way to control you. You can’t honestly believe I was attracted to you.”
“You certainly looked like you were.” It came out as an accusation.
A nasty smirk hit his face. “Darling, I can get an erection from a stiff breeze.”
So the bit about his cock not working around anyone but her had been a lie, too.
“Don’t call me that. Don’t call me that again.” His endearments meant nothing. They were one more way he’d drawn her in.
Something died a bit. A light that had started to grow inside her dimmed again. It had been foolish of her to believe him. She looked in the mirror on a regular basis. No amount of makeup would ever make her really beautiful. The people at the wedding had stared at them, but not because they looked right together. They stared because they wondered what the hell he was doing with her.
He was good. He’d known exactly how to get past her walls. He’d defended her, built up her self-esteem. He’d been just vulnerable enough to make her think they really did have something in common. She’d started to believe she was good for him.
She’d have to tell her sister and brother it had all been a joke. A joke on her.
“I’m sorry, Miss Cash.” He didn’t sound sorry. He sounded bland, blank, distant. But then he’d always been. The connection she’d felt had been one sided. Otherwise, there was no way he could hurt her like this. Love didn’t work that way. Even friendship didn’t work like that.
She’d been safer in her shell.
“Why did you sleep with me? I offered to do the job without sex.” She was proud of how steady her voice was. She was calm again. This wasn’t anything that hadn’t happened to her before. It would likely happen again unless she simply shut down.
“I told you. I was training you to obey me. The easiest way to ensure a woman’s compliance is to make her happy in bed. It’s so much easier if the woman’s never had a real lover. It wasn’t some grand romance, Penelope. It’s part of my job.”
And she knew what he would do for his job. He would kill himself for it so sleeping with a woman he found a bit distasteful was likely simple for him.
He’d needed someone pliable, someone smart but naïve. If she looked at it logically, she was rather perfect.
“Are you all right? You went pale. Do you need to sit down?” Damon was looking at her with something akin to pity.
“I’m fine. I believe I’ll go to my desk and clear it out.”
He frowned. “You’re not fired, Miss Cash.”
“Oh, Mr. Knight, I do believe I quit. I expect my belongings back in my home by tonight.” She turned to Nigel, praying she got through the next few minutes with some semblance of dignity. “Thank you for everything, sir. I’m sorry it ended like this.”
Nigel sat down, shaking his head. “I told you this was a bloody bad idea, Knight. I really hope you’re happy with yourself.”
“Damon, we have a problem.” Tennessee’s voice broke through her gloom, and she was suddenly deeply aware that she wasn’t alone with him. Two men had witnessed her humiliation.
Damon turned to him, every inch the competent agent. “Of course. We can discuss it after Penelope leaves. I would rather not compromise the mission further.”
Tennessee sighed. “You’ve already compromised it, and now we’re all royally screwed. He didn’t just kill Harris. He’s threatened to out undercover agents across the globe if you don’t show up with her.”
Nigel cursed under his breath. “Miss Cash, your resignation is rejected. You will keep your cover with Knight. You’ll be issued a sidearm this afternoon. Please don’t use it on him, though I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
Damon cursed.
She shook her head. “No. I can’t. I can’t be around him anymore.”
Nigel passed her the file. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to.”