Her heart racing with anticipation simply at the thought of seeing him again, she made her way across the deck to the doorway. He was sitting in the only chair that faced away from the ocean. And it looked like he had a half-empty bottle of tequila in his hands.
“Nice place they keep up here for you doctors. If I'd known that these were the perks, I might have become a doctor too.”
“What the hell are you doing here?”
He asked the question without even turning to look at her. A guaranteed way to piss her off. And yet, he didn't seem particularly surprised by her presence. Almost as if he'd known she was going to come down here to find him.
She said the easiest thing first—“Lily is worried about you.”—then hated herself for it.
She never took the easy way out. She wasn't going to start now.
“I'm worried about you.”
Still not turning to face her, he said, “You need to go.”
Good one. He had to know she wasn't going anywhere.
Scanning the room for the seat with the best ocean view, she moved to it and sat down, kicking her legs up onto the coffee table. “I've been needing a vacation. I think I'll take it here.”
Now he had no choice but to look at her. “I don't have time for your games, Janica.”
“Actually, from what I hear, you've got nothing but time. Four weeks of time.”
In a flash, he was up on his feet and coming after her. He grabbed her shoulders and wrenched her up from her seat.
“You're leaving. Right now.”
But she wasn't afraid of him. Even if, judging by his furious expression and the extremely hard grip he had on her, she should be.
“Not until you tell me what's going on. Not until you tell me why you showed up at my place last night.”
His answer came fast, furious. “I wanted to fuck you.”
She flinched and saw a flash of regret in his eyes. But it was gone as fast as it had come.
What had happened to him? To the Luke she knew?
And why couldn't she just let him go back to living his life alone, completely separate from her?
But she already knew the answer to that.
Love.
“And now I want you to leave me the hell alone.”
There was such hardness to his words, a lifelessness beneath them that broke her heart. Not because he was hurting her with his callousness after the night they'd spent together – even though she had to admit there was a little hurt bubbling up inside of her – but because it was clear just how much he was hurting.
Last night she'd looked into his eyes, had run her fingers across the harsh lines of his face, and knew how much he needed her. But today, things were even worse.
What had happened?
Janica knew she'd never been good with this emotion stuff. All her life, she'd been physical, active.
How could she reach him?
All she knew was that she couldn't go. She couldn't leave him alone. Not like this.
Making a show of scanning the cabin, she said, “It looks to me like you've got plenty of space here. Besides, you wouldn't turn out family, would you?”
“Don't go there, Janica,” he warned her in a low, rough voice.
“Where else should I go, Luke? Would you rather I told you how much I liked it when you had your mouth on my—”
Half expecting him to bodily throw her off the porch at this point, she was surprised when he cut her off with a kiss, a hard connection of lips and tongues and teeth. He tasted like tequila and his own particular brand of heat.
How would she ever get her fill of him?
A sharp pang squeezed her heart. She never would.
Both of them were breathing hard when he yanked himself away, only this time she was the one who didn't want to meet his eyes.
Because, for the first time in her life, she cared too much.
And she was the one who was going to end up destroyed.
Love sucked.
Especially when it only went one way.
Especially when a little voice in her head told her there wasn't a chance in hell that Luke was ever going to return her feelings. If she were anyone else, if she was blonde and tall and arctic like all of his girlfriends had been, then maybe she would have a chance with him. But Luke Carson falling in love with Janica Ellis?
Freaking preposterous.
His eyes were dark, hard, shut down as he stared down at her. “I'll let you stay on one condition.”
Suddenly, it was hard to breathe. She wanted to stay so much. Too much.
“Tell me.”
“I want you naked.”
Despite the ache of her heart, despite the fact that he hadn't said one nice, one kind, one gentle thing to her so far, despite the fact that he hadn't apologized for leaving her apartment the night before without a goodbye, her body instantly reacted to his command.
Wasn't this exactly what she wanted? To be naked and sweaty with him again? After all, hadn't she spent her whole life chasing pleasure?
But for some reason, she couldn't just start ripping off her clothes as if she didn't have a care in the world.
Because she did care.
And because a little part of her heart actually felt like it was breaking. This time, entirely for herself.
He leaped on her hesitation. “Take off your clothes before I do it for you.” He paused, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “Or get the hell out.”
Hardly able to believe her fingers were trembling—when was the last time she felt this nervous, this unsure?—she reached for the hem of her top and pulled it over her head. He didn't try to help, didn't rip it off of her like he had the night before. Instead, he just stood there like a he had turned to heartless stone and watched her as she unbuttoned the top of her jeans, pulled the zipper down, and slid them down her legs.
Left in only a bra and panties, strangely, she felt shy.
“Everything off, Janica.”
She swallowed, shook her head. It wasn't that he hadn't seen her naked before, because obviously he had. It was that she'd suddenly realized something truly shocking.
More hot sex with Luke wasn't going to be enough.
Not for her.
Even if he was acting like sex was the only thing he wanted from her.
She had to know that at least a small part of his heart was involved first. And if it turned out that it wasn't, well then she was going to have to do the hardest thing imaginable—she was going to have to walk away from Luke. And his incredible lovemaking.