He was barely in her door when she hit him with, “You’re too tired. You need to take some time off.”
“I'm fine,” he shot back. Quickly realizing he needed to back off the defensive or she'd definitely think something was up, he sat down in an open chair and put his hands behind his head.
She didn't look at all convinced. “When’s the last time you slept?”
“I spent last night in bed.”
Which was true. He just hadn't been sleeping.
And, sweet Lord, Janica had been hot. Better than anything he could have ever imagined.
She'd been giving, too. Selfless in her passion.
And so damn sweet, he hadn't ever wanted to let her go.
Eileen sighed loudly. “That may well be the case, and I hate having to do this, Luke, but someone has to unplug you from the operating table, because you’re clearly not going to do it yourself.”
Luke stood up to argue his case, but Eileen waved him back down. “I know you’re going to say that they need you—”
“They do.”
“—and that you feel fine—”
“I do. I’m fine, Eileen.” He held out his hands. “They’re not shaking. I’m not seeing double. Or hallucinating. I don’t have any signs of sleep deprivation. I’ve been working this way for years, and I’m responsible for saving more lives than anyone in this hospital, so I appreciate your concern but—”
She cut him off. “I know what happened last night, that Robert had to take over for you. And before you start beating yourself up over it, I want you to know I've seen it happen to all of the best doctors. So I'm not at all concerned about your patients, Luke. I’m concerned about you. You need some time off. To rejuvenate. To have some fun.” Looking down at the papers on her desk she said, “You’ll be taking the next four weeks off.”
Four weeks? Fuck, no. How was he supposed to make it through the next twenty-four hours without his job to fall back on? Between what had happened in the ER and what had happened with Janica, he was as screwed in the head – and the heart - as he'd ever been.
“One week,” he countered.
“We don’t want you to set foot in the hospital for four weeks, Luke,” she said firmly, the handed him his walking papers.
The words swam before him. Mental health break.
They thought he was going nuts.
And given that he'd spent the night trying to fuck his sister-in-law's brains out, but making love to her instead, maybe he had.
“The Big Sur cabin is open this time of year. It's yours. A few weeks on the ocean is going to work wonders for you. I'm sure of it.”
Thirty minutes later, Luke was still fuming. There’s nothing wrong with my mental health, he thought as he burned up the road beneath his tires, driving Highway 1 south too fast considering his lack of sleep. And yet, he was completely off kilter, utterly unprepared for the weeks that stretched before him.
With every mile he covered, Eileen's parting words came at him: “You don’t have to save everyone, Luke. Nobody can. And that’s okay.”
But she was wrong.
He did.
Because he hadn't been able to save the one person he'd loved the most.
Chapter Nine
Janica rang Lily's doorbell, but knowing the neighborhood was so safe they rarely locked the front door, she didn't wait for anyone to let her in.
Violet, Lily's four year-old daughter, came barreling around the corner. “Auntie Jan!” She tackled Janica in a bear hug around her legs, then yelled, “You're it,” and ran away as fast as her small legs could take her.
Janica grinned. Damn, she loved that kid. A perfect cross between Lily's soft beauty and Travis's ridiculously masculine good looks, Violet was a stunner. Better still, she was funny. And bright as the sun.
Lily was kneeling in the kitchen with full grocery bags all around her feet as she consoled her crying son. Sam was almost two-and-a-half and about a hundred times more sensitive than his big sister. He was also crazy cute. Cover-of-a-kid's-magazine cute.
Hoping to distract him from whatever was the matter, Janica called out, “Sammy!”
His eyes still wet, he looked up from his mother's shoulder and in an instant his wobbling cheeks shifted into a wide smile.
“Hey, baby boy,” she said as Lily gratefully moved aside to let her pick him up.
Happily going into her arms, he made a stern face. “I'm not a baby.”
“I know,” she said. “You're a big boy.” She pretended she was going to drop under his weight. “A huge boy. Have you been eating bricks again?”
“That would make my teeth break, silly!” he crowed, happy to let her know just how wrong she was, just like his father—and his uncle—were so happy to do all the time.
Carson men. They were all alike.
Too damn cute to stay away from, but completely and utterly full of themselves.
“You're it! You're it!” Violet yelled as she ran by.
“Okay. I'm just going to tell Sammy a secret first,” Janica said.
Violet's eyes got really big. Forgetting all about her game of tag, she ran over. “What is it?”
“I need to talk to your mommy for a few minutes and then when we're done I'm taking everyone for cupcakes.”
Lily's little boy all but jumped out of her arms to do a happy cupcake dance with his sister.
“I want to go right now!” he demanded.
Carson boys and their demands.
Come here.
I want you naked.
Get on your knees.
Use your mouth.
She shivered at the still-potent memories of the previous night and Lily looked at her with concern.
“Jan, honey, are you okay?”
Working to push Luke out of her head for five seconds, Janica smiled at the kids and pointed to the clock on the kitchen wall. “When the little arm is pointing at the 6, we'll go. Violet, you know how to tell time, don't you?”
Violet puffed up her chest. “Of course I do.” And then she grabbed her brother's arm and said, “Let's go play bakery in my room until it's time to go. You can make me cupcakes and I can eat them.”
Stepping over grocery bags, Lily hugged her quickly, then pulled her over to one of the bar stools tucked under the granite-topped island.