“What's wrong?”
Oh crap. Why had she come here? What was she thinking? Lily was going to kill her. Or Luke. Either way, her big sister was going to be worried sick over the whole situation.
But the thing was, even though Janica knew all those things, she had to talk to someone about what had happened. She needed her best friend. Who just so happened to be Luke's best friend too.
“Something happened last night.”
Lily's worried look morphed into pure fear. “Are you okay?”
Janica wanted to nod, tried to say yes, but the truth was she wasn't sure she actually was okay. Luke had rocked her world so hard she hadn't just seen stars, she'd actually felt like a human kaleidoscope shifting form again and again, from formations of pinks to purples and reds, yellows and oranges, blues and greens. Her orgasm had gone on and on as if it would never end, one easily turning to two beneath his beautifully out-of-control onslaught. And for a moment she'd felt special. Cherished.
But then he'd left, at least as cold as he'd ever been to her.
Colder, even.
“Oh my God, Jan, if someone hurt you we need to go to the pol—”
Janica quickly cut her off. “No, it's nothing like that.” She paused, took a deep breath, knew she needed to spit it out already before Lily had the chief of police on the line.
“Luke came over.”
Lily frowned. “Luke came over?”
Janica nodded.
Lily cocked her head to the side, still clearly confused by what Luke had to do with anything. And then, suddenly, her eyes went big.
“Luke came over,” Lily said again, more slowly this time, as if her brain was too busy working out the ramifications of everything to be able to change the words into anything else.
Jumping straight over the inevitable question—did you sleep with him?—Janica gave her sister the answer with another nod.
At which point Lily's eyes grew even huger and her cheeks flushed, her mouth opening and shutting a couple of times without any words coming out.
Janica was glad for her sister's loss for words because it meant that she could spit out the rest of it as quickly as possible.
“The thing is, apart from the obvious, I did something really stupid.”
Shaking herself out of her shock, Lily put her warm hands over Janica's cold ones. “Okay, so you slept with Luke. I know it's a big deal. A huge deal. But that doesn't mean it was stupid, Jan.”
If only sex was all there was to it.
I love you, Luke. I love you so much.
How could she have said those things to him?
How could she have even thought them?
Or dared to feel them in the first place?
“It was beyond stupid,” Janica insisted.
“I'm sure he's safe,” Lily said softly, totally misunderstanding her comment.
“No, we used protection,” Janica told her. “That's not the problem.”
“Then what is it?”
She took a very shaky breath, before saying, “I told him I loved him.”
The silence between the sisters was heavy. Finally, Lily whispered, “Oh, Janica,” then hugged her close.
Her sister's pity made her feel a hundred times worse. As if it was starkly obvious to every last person on earth that there was no point in Janica loving Luke because they could never end up together.
“What did he say?”
Janica shook her head. He hadn't said anything. But she remembered the way his eyes had looked right after she'd said it.
Like he couldn't take it in. Not just because he hadn't been expecting her to say it.
But because he didn't want her to.
Lily's voice was gentle as she asked, “How long have you felt that way?”
Janica shrugged, not wanting to have to admit to either Lily or herself that her feelings were real. “It was really great sex.”
But Lily wasn't buying it. “How many other times have you declared your love to someone you've slept with?”
Janica hated to say it. “Never.”
“Do you want me to talk to him?”
“No! Absolutely not!” Janica shook her head hard. “All I want to do is forget it ever happened.”
A lightning bolt coming through the roof to strike her dead just then wouldn't have surprised her in the least. Not when she'd just told the world's hugest lie.
Because she never wanted to forget her night with Luke. Lying beneath him, his hard heat filling her body and soul, his mouth on hers. It had been the most perfect night of her life. So perfect that she hadn't been able to stop three horrible words from spilling out of her lips. More than once.
“Somehow, honey, I don't think that's going to work. He's Travis's brother. Odds are, you're going to have to see him again pretty soon.”
Janica put her face in her hands. “I know. I'm so screwed.”
Lily got up from the stool and started pacing. “No, I refuse to believe that. In fact, maybe it's a good thing this happened. You know, for the two of you to finally get your feelings for each other out in the open.”
Janica looked up from her hands. “Hate to break it to you, Lils, but not everyone gets the fairy tale like you did.”
But Lily's eyes were already bright with plans and hopes. “You're amazing. You love him. He's got to know how lucky he is. He's got to. He probably just needs some time to get used to the idea of being a part of a couple.”
If ever there was a perfect moment for an eye roll, this was it. “Even for you, big sister, that is a shockingly misplaced vote of confidence. Do you really for one second think Luke wants my love? That he could even consider being with someone like me?”
Lily immediately got angry. “Don't you dare talk about yourself like that. He'd be the luckiest guy on earth to have you.”
Deciding they were officially way past the eye roll, Janica simply sighed. “So in your version of reality the type A surgeon has always wanted a wild clothing designer to be his one and only?”
“He showed up at your apartment last night, didn't he?” When Janica nodded, Lily asked, “Has he ever come by before?”
“No. Not since that time you and Travis left for Italy and ended up getting married.”
Five years ago, Janica and Luke had concocted a plan to make sure Lily and Travis, who clearly belonged together, didn't screw things up. It was the last time she'd ever really sat down and talked with Luke. Including last night, when words hadn't been necessary.