“Let go.”
I was going to. I stiffened and was about to, but he’d said those exact words to me the night I’d met him, and I didn’t listen then. Yeah, stupid maybe, because this Logan wasn’t the same one. But maybe he was? He had friends, a band, there was a chance that the Logan I knew existed. Maybe I just had to find him and bring him back to me.
I stepped in closer, kissed his shoulder then trailed kisses down his spine.
“Emily. Don’t.”
But he let me. My hands started at his shoulders then ran down his arms until they rested on top of his hands that were gripping the bars so tight that his knuckles were white. I peeled each finger away from the bars, until he let go, his arms falling to his sides, my hands holding his.
“Are you scared of me?”
I was thrown off for a second by his question; it seemed odd to ask me that now. I answered him honestly. “Yes.”
His head dropped forward with a half-nod.
“I want to ...” God, I wanted him so much it hurt. It was ripping me apart having him next to me night after night. No matter how wrong it may be, I still wanted him. Or maybe it was I wanted to believe so badly that he was still the man I loved that I would do anything. Was that weak? Was I falling prey to what he wanted? Right now I didn’t care. Tonight I wasn’t going to care about anything except Logan and me.
“Please, Logan.”
He turned. And any reservations I may have had lingering were swept aside the moment I looked in his eyes and recognized the warmth within them.
“Please. I need you.”
His hand swept into my hair, fingers curling around the nape of my neck. “You’ve never needed me, Eme.” He was wrong, but I didn’t argue because right now I wanted him to kiss me, so I stood on my tip toes and kissed him first.
The moment the heat of our lips pressed together I heard him moan. He swooped me up in his arms and carried me to the bed then placed me on the rumpled sheets. He leaned over me, both arms on either side of my head.
“You want this?”
I nodded.
“Tell me, Emily.”
“I want this. I want you.”
He stared at me for several seconds, and I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until he finally spoke again. “Then tonight, show me. Show me exactly what you want and take it.”
I nodded again, although I was feeling uncertain and nervous. My experience was, well, zilch, but Kat and I had watched p**n os numerous times, laughing at the ridiculous positions and moaning, but still we’d learned a lot.
Logan slid off his jeans and his T-shirt, but left on his boxers then climbed into bed and lay on his back beside me.
He really was going to make me be the one to pursue this? “Logan.”
“You want this then it has to be you.”
“Why? I like it when ...” How did I say that I was totally turned on when he was the aggressor?
Logan stroked the back of my head, and I looked up at him. “I’ll give you that. But not tonight.”
I felt the heat in my cheeks as I thought of what I was going to do to him, the sweet ache in my belly as I anticipated tasting him and watching his face while I did it.
I slipped over top of his thigh so that I lay between his legs; then I put my fingers on the material that kept his c**k hidden from me. I watched his eyes as I slowly slid his boxers down. He lifted his butt a little, and then my eyes moved down his abdomen to his c**k as it sprang free from its confines.
I hesitated, and my hand reached out to touch the tip, feeling the moisture. He sucked in air and I got braver as I slid his boxers off the rest of the way and then wrapped my hand around the base of his cock.
Instantly, it jerked, and Logan groaned.
God, I felt powerful. It was incredible that I could make him feel like that with just holding him.
“Emily.” His hand caressed my cheek, and when I looked at him I saw his features ease. I smiled. It had been over a week since I’d smiled, and it felt as if I’d been set free for that single moment. This was always how I imagined it would be like between us always.
I lowered my eyes to his c**k again, and then my mouth followed.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
I licked the tip and tasted a sweet saltiness that lingered on my tongue. Slowly, I took him in further and further until I couldn’t anymore. My hand caressed his balls the same time as I sucked, soft then harder and harder, moving up and down, his c**k pulsating in my mouth with each stroke.
“Jesus, Eme.” His fingers curled in my hair, and he urged me faster.
He was arching off the bed to meet me, and a few times he pushed too far, and I gagged, and he immediately pulled back.
I teased him with my tongue, my lips, and then I gripped the base of him tight until he was swearing and groaning. Suddenly I was being pulled up on top of him, my face inches away from his.
“Are you going to f**k me now? Because I’m not lasting much longer.”
“Yes.”
“Then put me inside you.”
I felt his c**k between my legs throbbing, and I lifted up, took hold of it then slid it up and down my entrance, my wetness clinging to the tip of it.
“Now.”
I let his c**k go, and his breath hitched as his eyes widened with surprise. Then he frowned, and he got that scary look. For a second I let the fear in, and then I licked my lips, sat up straight, and put my head back, closing my eyes.
“Play with your ni**les.”
My eyes flew open and a tweak hit my belly at his words. I slowly slid my hands up my body to my br**sts. When I started playing with my ni**les the desire in his eyes intensified.