He stopped pacing then stalked toward me and grabbed my arm. “Do you? Emily, you have no idea the f**kin’ shit that goes on here.” He let me go, and I staggered backward until the backs of my knees hit the bed. I sat. “I will do nothing—nothing, if you make a mistake. I will let you go.”
A shiver ran through me at his words. “I know.” And I did. What I didn’t know was why he was telling me this. The emotionless cold had been wiped from his face. A part of the man I once knew and loved stood in front of me again. It made my insides coil and spring toward him then spring back as if afraid to feel that assurance.
Logan gave an abrupt nod. “One slip and you’ll disappear.”
“Are you ... are you selling me tonight?” Fear escalated through my body when he remained silent. God, what if he was getting rid of me?
He sat beside me and laid his hand on the edge of the bed over top of mine. I inhaled sharply and stiffened while looking at him.
“If I lose the fight ...” I knew what that meant, and my body started shaking. “I plan to win. But tonight will push your limits. Don’t think for one second it won’t.”
The image of the girl flashed before my eyes, her being f**ked from behind, Alfonzo laughing and watching. Would he make me do that? Would I be subjected to being f**ked in front of a room full of strangers?
“Will you ... will you give me to others to ... f**k?”
Oh God, I couldn’t do it. What if another man wanted to touch me? Was that allowed? Would Logan give me to him?
“Look at me.”
I couldn’t. Suddenly the images became a movie reel, and my mind started thinking up the worst possible scenarios ... I couldn’t do this. I was going to be auctioned off and never be found again. The collar around my neck started to tighten, choking me, strangling every breath.
Logan placed his hands on either side of my head, the pressure harsh as he forced me to acknowledge him. “Pull yourself together. You have to do this. You have no choice.”
I shook my head back and forth. I couldn’t be sold. I could handle Logan; I could be here with him, but the fear of the auction sat like a churning rusted chain in my stomach. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. Don’t make me go. Don’t make me.” All his warnings, his rules went through the floor. “Don’t make me. Please.” Tears streamed down my face, and with the pads of his thumbs he wiped them away.
“Emily.”
“Please. I’ll stay here. Leave me here. I’ll be good. I’ll kneel. I’ll do whatever you want. Tie me up, blindfold me. Just don’t make me go.”
His voice was controlled and firm as he said, “I can’t. Raul wants you there, so if I lose ...”
He didn’t finish the sentence. I cried for who I’d become, this weak woman. I detested myself for loving a man that was saving me from Raul by keeping me, and I detested myself for hating that same man who was destroying my dignity.
His fingers weaved into my hair. “There’s no other way.”
“Why? Why me? I loved you.” My voice rose, “I loved you.” I sobbed the words, my breaking point crushing the calm, protective wall I’d carefully built around myself.
Logan stormed to his feet, walked to the other side of the room, and punched his fist into the wall. Blood dripped down the back of his hand as he turned back. Then he came straight for me. Terror pushed me to react against what I knew could get me punished and I ran for the door.
My hands curled around the doorknob just as Logan grabbed me by the shoulders and spun me around. He pulled me in hard so I was crushed against his chest. His mouth slammed onto mine, a rumbled groan escaping him as he curled me into him. His kiss was possessive and unbreakable; he was taking what had become his and yet giving me back the part of him I’d once known.
His lips softened as I leaned into him.
Our ragged breathing was the only sound in the room as we stared at one another for minutes.
“Get dressed,” Logan said then spun and strode from the room.
I stiffened. Then I brought in the coldness he’d shown me and became who he needed me to be, because I knew he was the only one who could save me from tonight.
Chapter 9
3 hours later
I’d watched Logan’s fight sitting between Jacob and Dave, Raul a few seats away from me. This wasn’t the typical underground dirty warehouse location. No, Raul had an actual ring and seating. He obviously had been organizing these fights for a while.
Logan defeated his opponent, but it’d been brutal and tough, and I’d been in perpetual anxiety the entire time. I knew if he lost I’d be sold, but it was more than that. A small part of me worried about him. Maybe it was human nature. Maybe love couldn’t be stopped, or maybe I was just thinking irrationally.
I wore his collar, and noticed Raul’s nod of approval when he saw me with Logan. Or was it my state of dress he approved? Or rather lack of dress. I tried not to think about it, but it was hard considering there was nothing beneath it. It dipped so low in the front that my ni**les were exposed. When I first put it on, I tore it off again then threw it across the room.
I even went and put on the nightgown and waited beside the bed for Logan to come back and see me not wearing what he put out for me. Then panic set in as I realized that he’d be back any second and I wasn’t dressed.
Tonight wasn’t an option. I had to do this. So, I put on the dress, and my br**sts spilled out of the tight material, and I waited for Logan while kneeling on the floor.