I moaned, lost in lust, and the pressure on my neck increased. I couldn’t tell if it was the lack of oxygen or my desire for Javier that was making the world seem smaller.
Finally I had to put my fingers on his arm to try and release some of the pressure. He pressed harder for a second, then raised his head to look at me. I couldn’t speak, I had to tell him with my eyes that it was too much and I couldn’t breathe.
For one frightening second there was a look in him that told me this was his intention, but just like that, it melted away and there was softness instead. He took his arm off of me and gently kissed down my windpipe before coming up to my ear.
“I don’t wish to hurt you anymore,” he whispered.
I inhaled deeply, letting it expand in my lungs, and nodded.
He kissed me long and hard, and I felt myself stealing his breath. His tongue was wet and probing, and I suddenly needed that tongue elsewhere.
He knew this. He knew me too well. He moved down and off the bed until his head was between my legs. His lips found me, his tongue slow and teasing. He moaned into me. This was his favorite thing, my taste, my very essence. It fired Javier up like nothing else, and I knew he was stroking himself as he did so. I could make his cock harder than cement.
“Oh god,” I whimpered, my back arched and my hands gripping his silky hair as I pulled his mouth deeper into me. His tongue thrust inside and I automatically clenched around him as he pushed it back and forth, revving me into a frenzy. I ground my hips, wanting more, more, more.
“What did I tell you about being greedy?” he murmured into me, taking the chance to lick up the insides of my thighs.
“Something about how I could be as greedy as I wanted,” I said through a moan.
“You’re right. You want it all and I will give it to you.”
He razed his teeth over my clit then plunged his tongue inside me again while two fingers dipped into my tight ass.
I came immediately, hard and wild, my body bucking like a runaway horse. I shouted out his name, moaning like a woman possessed.
“How many times can I make my queen come?” he challenged, his voice sounding far away as I rode through the orgasm, my soul splintering out into shards of light. It threatened to let loose a million emotions I was trying so hard to cage.
Luckily Javier was fast. He stood up, completely naked now, his gorgeous cock jutting out, and yanked my thighs toward him and up, so my hips were raised and my legs were hooked over his shoulders.
He thrust into me, grinding his teeth, the muscles in his neck corded.
“Fuck,” he muttered, closing his eyes as he slowly pulled out. Achingly, teasingly. Then he pushed in again to the hilt.
My breath hitched as he sunk in deeper, and I was enraptured by the intensity on his face, the desire and lust that seemed to smolder throughout him. His eyes lifted to meet mine and held me there. I was his hostage, his captive, all over again.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I gave myself to him as he pounded in and out. Open, vulnerable, exposed, he could have all of me if I could even get a taste of all of him.
Just when the strain seemed too much and his eyes pinched shut, about to come, he somehow had the nerve to stop. He pulled out and I was suddenly bereft without him inside me.
“I need you closer,” he said, and he got on the bed so that he was sitting up, and then pulled me on top so that I was straddling him. “Much closer.”
I eased onto his cock, reveling in how full he made me feel, and while one arm went around my waist, holding me close to his own sweaty, hard chest, the other disappeared into my hair. He held me softly but firmly in place, our bodies fused.
He kissed me, mouth open and insatiable, then stared deep into my eyes. There was so much I wanted to see in them.
“Luisa,” he murmured.
“Yes?” I asked as I fell deeper and deeper.
Javier started nibbling across my jaw and I closed my eyes to take it all in.
“I want a son,” he whispered, voice ragged against my neck.
I pulled back and faced him, stunned. “What?”
It was the way of life here in Mexico, and that was no less important in the cartels. Family was everything, and the patrons always wanted big families with sons who would eventually take over the family business.
When it came to children though, it was something that Javier and I discussed only once. While I wanted a family at some point, he was hesitant. He had once confessed to me in the middle of the night that he feared he would be just like his own father, deadbeat and horrible. I couldn’t convince him otherwise.
I didn’t have a womb that demanded kids or ached for them. I ached for him. But I also knew that Javier was talking nonsense when it came to his fears. Though there was no denying that he, at times, was not a good person and could very well be the monster that everyone feared, I knew he would make a wonderful father. He was fiercely loyal and protective, and our baby would grow up to be the most spoiled brat in the land.
But I never pushed the issue with him, because I wanted what he wanted, at least for now, and if I ever started feeling the urge, that ticking clock that enslaved women, then I would let him know. I would stop taking the pill and we would start trying.
I never dreamed he would let me know first.
But now I could hear it in his voice, raw and choked, that desire.
I stared up at him, locked in the intensity of his gaze. “You want a baby?”
He swallowed and brushed the hair off my forehead. “Yes, Luisa. I do. For us. For the future.” He paused, seeming to get lost in himself, his face contorting slightly with want and need. “I love you. And I am so, so sorry that I haven’t been there. I am so sorry for what I’ve done to you.”