The problem was, I’d just had a taste of her, and I wanted more. That was the least of my problems. A bigger problem was that I knew myself, and I knew I wasn't about to casually fuck this girl. She was already under my skin, and I knew myself well enough to know that she was going to stick there.
And that meant a shitload of complications in my already too fucking complicated life.
"Hammer," Meia whispered, her hands already on my belt buckle, then unzipping my pants. She looked at me with wide eyes when she yanked my pants down. "Oh my God."
My cock was erect, pre-cum already on the tip. Shit, I was half-surprised I hadn't come while I was eating her out; that's how hot I was for her. "Are you sure you still want me?" I asked.
She nodded, her tongue tracing the length of her bottom lip. I wondered if she was doing it on purpose, the thing with her tongue that made me want to cover her mouth with mine, or if it was a nervous habit. I was reminded of the fact that I didn't know her, that all of this was happening too quickly, that I should be careful, that I didn't need to risk anything for some girl I'd just met. Some girl I knew nothing about.
And then she wrapped her hand around the base of my cock, opening her mouth and touching her tongue tentatively to the tip, licking that drop of pre-cum that had beaded at the top. I groaned, far too loudly. It had been a long fucking time since I'd been with anyone. On her knees, Meia looked up at me, her eyes on mine as she ran her tongue from the base of my shaft to the tip.
"Holy shit, Meia," I said. Then I stopped, as the image of her being forced to do this ran through my head. I pulled her to her feet. I couldn't let her do this, on her knees with my cock in her mouth, like she was servicing me. Not like those other bastards. It wasn't right. "No."
"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her voice shaky. "You didn't like it?"
"No," I said. How the fuck did I put this into words? "I don't- you don't need to do that. I don't -"
"You didn't like it."
"Jesus, no," I said. "Fuck."
She gripped the base of my cock again. "Your head was just between my legs, and you don't want mine between yours?"
"I don't want to -" Shit, no matter how I said this, it was going to sound fucking corny. I didn't want her thinking I was some kind of pussy. "I don't want to fucking use you. I'm not some shitbag. I want to -"
She smiled at me, her hand lightly stroking the length of my cock. "Hammer," she said. "I want to do this. For the first time in my life, I want to do this."
"Shit," I said. My cock throbbed as she moved her hand up and down my length, then stopped, massaging pre-cum into the tip with her finger. "Let's do this right, then."
It was torture, removing her hand from my dick, as I walked over to the table to grab a condom from my wallet. I tossed it on the bedside table, and took her face in my hands, kissing her again, softly this time.
"I don't want to hurt you," I said, between kisses. "If you don't feel comfortable..."
"I'm not fragile, Hammer," she whispered. "I might have been through hell, but I'm not fragile."
"You're definitely not fragile," I said, taking her breast in my mouth and watching her throw her head back, her hair falling down her shoulders. I could already see the difference in her, how she seemed to be feeling more at ease with me. "Come here."
I took her hand, pulling her onto the bed, and kissed her, dragging her down on top of me on the bed. Her hair fell forward around my face as she straddled me, her pussy an inch above my cock, resting on me.
"You're in control," I said. It was stupid, a meaningless gesture, but for whatever reason, I felt it was important. After all she'd been through, I couldn't just screw her. Even if she said she wanted to, I didn't want her to put me in the category of one of those men, her abusers. I was no shrink, but I knew that shit had to have fucked her up when it came to sex. "We can take it at your pace."
"What you did to me earlier," Meia said. "It was the first time I'd ever - the first time anyone has ever made me...you know."
"Come?" I asked. "Honey, I aim to change that." I cupped her breasts in my hands, stroking her nipples with my thumbs, and watched her bite down on her lip, moaning in response to my touch. I let one hand roam down her body until my fingers found her clit, and I rubbed my finger across from it, listening to her breathing grow ragged. I could feel her wetness against my pelvis, and I couldn't think about anything except how it would feel inside her. But I knew I needed to wait, let her dictate things.
Shit, waiting was excruciating.
She leaned forward again, kissing me, her nipples hard against my chest. Then she put her mouth close to my ear. "Hammer," she said, her voice husky. "I want you inside me."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "Now, stop treating me like I'm going to break."
I reached for the condom, and she helped me roll it down my length. She hovered above me, and I guided my cock toward her, the tip pressing against her entrance. I lay back, watching her eyes grow wide as she slid onto me, at an impressively, excruciatingly slow rate of speed.