And all he remembered about the whole bloody affair before Eve had started her therapy was waking up in the water with blood on his hands and the memory of those boots. He’d been able to remember the dead girl and Rory’s body and that the bonds were gone.
He’d woken up face down and nearly drowning with no recollection of how he’d gotten there. One minute he’d been staring at his brother’s boots and the next he’d been in the water.
After he’d gotten out of the water and realized just how fucked he was, he’d called Ian Taggart.
Eight hours later, he’d been on a plane to the States.
Liam sat down, making a few decisions. “If Ian knows something, then he had a reason to keep it from me. He probably didn’t think I was ready to know. He was the one who helped me find the building I’d been in, and he was the one who found out it had exploded that very morning.”
Eve leaned forward, intelligence radiating from her eyes. “I think you knew the building was going to explode. That’s why you were trying to get out tonight.”
“Well none of us bought the newspaper’s explanation of a gas leak,” Liam said. “I tried to run down ten leads and they all ended in nothing. No one had any idea where the bonds had gone. If they were used, it was with complete discretion. The arms dealer we were trying to take down mysteriously vanished off the face of the earth.”
“You’ve never told me why you didn’t contact your SAS group and attempt to explain what happened.”
That was easy. “I don’t know what happened. Not really. I think someone drugged my drink and after that it’s all hazy. They think I died. I thought it best to leave it at that. I tried for the first couple of years to figure out what had happened and then little by little I just gave up. I think there’s a part of me that has always wondered.”
“Li, you did not kill that girl.”
Her face still haunted him. He’d found out her name much, much later, but it was her face that came to him every night. “It was my rope. What if I did it in a drug-induced haze? What if I killed them all?”
“If you killed them all then you would know where the bonds were. It’s too coincidental. You were set up as the fall guy. Someone stole the bonds and you were supposed to be arrested, but they’d done their job too well. The SAS decided you died in the blast, too. They likely think the bonds were destroyed, and they might have been.”
Liam doubted it. Why blow the place up? It didn’t make a lick of sense. None of it did. “I got a phone call that night.”
Eve nodded. “Yes. This is the furthest we’ve been. We’ve never made it past finding Rory’s body before. That phone call sent you running for the window. It could explain how you ended up in the water. We need to know what it was about and who made it. You need to go under again. Take a few days. Do your job. Don’t think about this. When you’re ready, we’ll try again, but I need some muscle to back me up if you try to take a header again, Li. I know you want answers, but I won’t let you kill yourself to get them.”
He stood. He was done for the night. He needed a pint or twelve to get the vision out of his head.
The dungeon was down below. He could burn away the memories in some sub’s body, driving in and out until he could finally sleep.
Eve followed him out of the small room she’d taken over as her office. “Tell me something, Liam.”
He turned, weary and ready to get to the part of his night that didn’t involve reexamining his nightmares. “What?”
“What did you think of the Charles girl? Your first instinct. Is she involved with Eli Nelson?”
A vision of perfect blue eyes assaulted him. She’d been so shy at first, but when she’d given in she’d wrapped herself around him like she couldn’t get enough, like he could never give her enough to fully satisfy her. Like she would want him for the rest of her days.
“If she’s involved, she has no idea who he is. I think I could walk into a room where she was holding a smoking gun with a dead body on the floor and I would look around for the killer. She’s innocent.” After the day he’d spent with her, there was no doubt in his mind. She wasn’t capable of making a decision that might hurt someone.
Eve nodded as she opened the door to let him out. “That was my assessment, too. My profile is of a very courageous young woman. She’s been through a lot, Li. If she’s innocent, then why would you put her through more?”
Because he wanted her so badly he could still taste her on his fucking tongue. Because the minute he’d thought about her again, all those wretched visions had fled and he’d only been able to see her. Because she was different. “Just because she’s innocent doesn’t mean she doesn’t know something. She probably doesn’t even know she knows something.”
“Adam could find out without a sexual element. He can be her friend. A friend’s betrayal can be much easier to get over than a lover’s. Especially since I doubt she’s had many of those. You do intend to sleep with her, I assume.”
He was going to sleep with her. He was going to drown himself in her until he couldn’t see straight. “I’ll try not to hurt her, but I have to get close. Have you thought about the fact that if this gets dangerous, she’ll need someone to protect her?”
Yes. He could make it sound noble. He could hide the fact that he was a greedy fucker who wanted to use her to forget himself. Eve didn’t need to know that.
She sighed as though realizing she couldn’t win this battle. “All right. Just remember, she’s still fragile. She doesn’t need to lose more people she loves.”
Avery wouldn’t love him. She would come to him for something she hadn’t found. Sex. Pleasure. Submission. But she wouldn’t love him. He wasn’t lovable. She would figure that out soon enough.
He closed the door behind him only to feel eyes on his back.
Motherfucking Alex. He stood not ten feet away glaring at Liam.
“You know, this is pathetic, McKay. You’ve turned into a second-rate stalker.” He would brush past the bugger and down into the dungeon. He would fuck the first pretty brunette he could find.
“I’m just worried about her.” Alex’s whole body seemed to sag. He shook his head and turned down the hallway. “She’s a hell of a woman. Treat her right.”