"And how long would I be gone, exactly?" she asked, her expression unreadable.
"You know I can't give you an exact time frame, Sophia."
I thought she was going to blow up at me, but when she spoke, her tone was calm. "I appreciate the offer, but I have a life here, Sebastian. The idea of dropping everything and disappearing with no return date in mind doesn't sit well with me."
I closed my eyes, feeling a huge stab of guilt. Whether or not she went, her life was on hold. She could hardly wander back home in a few weeks if our enemies were still out there.
"Just think about it, okay?" I said.
"Okay."
She continued to stare at me. There was a sadness to her expression, but also a glimmer of something else, something questioning. I realised then how closely we were sitting. There was barely a foot separating us. Her smell — orange blossom and vanilla — suddenly seemed to be everywhere. All I had to do was lean in and my mouth would be on hers. I could already visualise how she'd taste, how she'd tremble, how her tongue would feel curled around my own.
I knew I should leave, but my muscles refused to obey. All I could do was sit there and drink her in. Fuck, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to grab hold of her and push her down and show her that she was still mine. But, of course, that wasn't true.
I didn't understand why she hadn't sent me away yet. Instead she just sat with her eyes locked to mine, her lips hanging ever so slightly open, like an illicit invitation. There was something smoky lurking in her gaze now, something that shouldn't have been there.
It was almost enough.
Closing my eyes, I sucked in a shuddering breath and got to my feet. "I have to go."
She was still for a few seconds, then nodded slowly. For a brief moment, I almost thought she looked disappointed. It didn't make any sense.
I fled.
I needed to be alone with my thoughts, but as I headed for my room, I ran into the last person I wanted to see.
"Sneaking in a quickie while the rest of us are slaving away, hey?" said Ewan, who was waiting for me around the corner.
"I'm not in the mood, Ewan," I said, trying to swerve around him, but he stepped sideways, blocking my path.
"Maybe I am," he said.
I found myself fuming at his school boy antics. "Have you got something you want to say?"
He chewed thoughtfully for several seconds, as if working an invisible piece of tobacco around his mouth. "Marcus filled us in on what he'd found. Looks like your girl is involved in all this, somehow."
"Does that mean you're going to get off my back about it?"
He laughed. "Hardly. Just because you went and created a weak spot for yourself doesn't mean the group should have to clean up after you. Having her here is a liability. We don't know her and we don't trust her."
"I trust her."
"Do you?" he asked, bitter amusement evident in his voice. "Perhaps that's the problem."
I took a step closer, feeling something animal flare in my chest. "What's that supposed to mean?"
But Ewan was not easily intimidated. "It means that something here doesn't add up," he said, staring me right in the eyes. "Nobody outside of Alpha should even know the council exists. Yet a month or two after you start swapping promise rings with Ally McBeal in there, suddenly our guys start dying."
"You're joking, right? Did you forget that they took her too?"
He gave a little shrug. "Maybe they were just finishing the job. Cleaning up loose ends."
It took every fibre of my being not to knock him to the floor. My hands twitched at my sides, both balled tightly into fists. But I was already walking on thin ice as it was. Hitting him would only make things worse.
"This is ridiculous," I said.
"Maybe. Maybe I'm way off. But either way, there's no excuse for breaking the rules."
I stared at him with gritted teeth. There was nothing I could say. He was right and we both knew it.
Not knowing what else to do, I moved to leave again. This time he didn't try to stop me. He'd gotten his message across. Sophia's presence here was more than an inconvenience, and it was only a matter of time before she was out on her own.
CHAPTER FIVE
Sophia
The second night was a little better than the first, but not much. More than once I woke flushed and sweating, the sharp tang of my latest nightmare still fresh on the back of my tongue. I wondered if this was post-traumatic stress. Based on what little I knew, it certainly seemed possible. I'd never understood how you couldn't just block that stuff out, but now I did.
Part of me expected Sebastian to magically appear once more and slip into my bed like a comforting ghost, but the door remained closed. I found myself disappointed about that. It seemed crazy to think about the prospect of 'us', in the context of everything that was happening, but no matter how terrified and out of my depth I felt, there was no denying the strength of my feelings for him. Not to mention my attraction. The energy that had sprung up between us when he'd visited earlier had nearly overwhelmed me. He had this way of looking at my body, like he was preparing to devour me, that ignited something deep in my stomach. I wanted to be angry — hell I was angry — but if, at that moment, he'd kissed me, I wasn't sure I'd have put up a fight.
I didn't know whether to be touched or offended at the 'holiday' he'd offered. It did feel a little like he was just taking the easy route and trying to sweep me under the rug, but at the same time, everything he said was valid. Things were uncomfortable here, and I knew it must be just as bad for him. I appreciated the predicament he was in, even if it was somewhat his fault. I just wished I wasn't in it as well.
More than once I considered agreeing to go. An all-expenses paid trip overseas was hardly the worst proposition in the world; but, truth be told, the idea of being out there all alone scared me. My life was here and it was under siege. I couldn't just run away while somebody else dealt with that.
After several hours of restless turning, I gave up trying to sleep and reached for my phone. Sebastian hadn't mentioned it, but when I woke up that morning, I found a few of my possessions waiting for me in the hallway outside. Apparently he'd sent someone to my house.
It was a good thing too, because there were already several texts from the girls waiting for me. Another day or two and they'd have started to worry.