“I’m doing better. It’s nice to have a little energy again. I still have a long road, but I feel much better.”
“Clara says you’re going back in for surgery soon.”
“Yeah. I’ll have reconstruction done at the end of the month.” Madeline’s eyes clouded over, her shoulders stiffened. “I’m scared as hell.”
“Why?”
“Just have read too much.” She rolled the tension from her shoulders and then tucked her feet up under her. “You know having your breasts removed sucks, you anticipate the hard times to come. Getting them back should be the easy part, but it’s not.”
“Let me know if I can do anything for you.”
“I’ll be fine, but thank you.”
The brush-off hurt, but she didn’t know what else she’d expected Madeline to say. The few minutes she’d been there suddenly felt like hours. Kathy set the coffee mug back down on the table and picked up her purse. “I should be getting home. I promised everyone I’d bring home something for dinner. But I wanted to bring this by for you.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a wedding invitation.
“Thank you,” Madeline said as she reached for it, and Kathy noticed her hands shook too.
“I just wanted you to know how important you are to everyone and that it wouldn’t be the same without you there to share this day with us.”
Madeline bit down on her lip. “Are you sure? This is your special day, and I don’t want to intrude on it.”
“I’m sure,” she said as she stood. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“Thank you. Thank you for coming by.”
Kathy nodded and moved toward the door. “By the way, I really liked the red hair.”
Madeline laughed. “Did you? Arianna brought it for me. It’s been fun. I have six wigs in all different colors and lengths. It’s like being someone new every day.”
Kathy clutched her purse under her arm tightly. “Call us if you need anything.”
Madeline nodded. “Thank you.”
Kathy walked through the back door of the house with her arms full of bags. She’d driven around for an hour before she finally stopped at the grocery store and picked up sub sandwiches and chips. Carlos jumped up from his chair and helped her with the groceries.
“This wasn’t the takeout I thought you’d bring.” He crinkled up his nose.
“I just couldn’t come up with anything better,” she said as she shrugged off her coat and hung it on the hook.
The kids picked up their books and papers, and Carlos walked back toward her after setting down the bags.
“Are you all right?” he whispered as he touched her arm.
“I’m okay.”
“Did something happen?”
“Nothing bad. Let’s talk about it later, okay?”
Carlos nodded and went about cutting up the sandwiches and opening bags of chips.
When everyone had settled in for the night, Carlos found her in the living room with a magazine on her lap, looking out the window into the darkness.
“Hey, what’s up?” He sat down next to her on the couch, and she adjusted until she was wrapped in his arms.
“I wasn’t at a meeting tonight,” she admitted and felt his body stiffen. “I went to Madeline’s house.”
He didn’t respond right away. When he did he asked, “Is everything all right?”
Kathy nodded her head. “I just haven’t been dealing well with the way I acted a few weeks ago. I’ve never been a jealous person before.” She turned so she could look him in the eye. “I never had anything to lose before.”
“You’re not going to lose me.”
“But I think I was threatened that I didn’t have all of you.”
His brows knit together in obvious confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve never needed you in the way that she has. You shared something with her that I’ve never shared with anyone. You were in love when you were young. I was still searching. You’ve seen your children born and looked at their mother like she was the most perfect person in the world. I’m still waiting for that day. You have a friend in her that I don’t have with anyone I know.” She sighed and a tear fell. “When I was trying on dresses with your sisters, I realized that your family is so amazing. I don’t have the kind of relationship your sisters have with my own sisters. Yours don’t even live nearby, and yet they’re still so close you wouldn’t know they only speak on the phone a few times a week.”
He sat quietly and let her talk. “When I was at Madeline’s, she had pictures all over of her and the kids. It was like nothing I’d ever seen. My mother only ever kept up our school pictures.” He gave her a gentle squeeze as if to tell her he understood what she saw. “But what got me were three little pictures hidden behind a lamp.”
“Newborn pictures,” he said simply.
“Yeah, newborn pictures.”
He nodded and kissed the top of her head. “Is that what bothered you? Pictures of me in her house?”
“Maybe a little.”
“Why were you there?”
Kathy turned again to look at him. Her stomach tightened. “I took her an invitation to the wedding.”
He gave her a slow nod, and the crease between his brows deepened. “Why did you do that?”
“Because she should have been on your list. You should have had her on your invitation list, and because I was being childish, she wasn’t there.”
“It’s okay. She’s my ex-wife. Most ex-wives don’t attend the wedding of their ex-husbands.”
“But the two of you are different.” She wiped at her eyes. “When I was trying on dresses, I was looking at myself. I realized everything she had gone through in the past few months. Except for the kids, you were all she had. I took that away from her in her time of need because of my own selfishness. I had to change that. I can’t be the bad person I was feeling I was.”
His mouth softened into a smile, but the crease between his brows didn’t lessen. “I don’t think you have it in you to be a bad person.”
“She’s going to have surgery again at the end of February.”
“Clara and Ed mentioned that.”