Except that back then we wanted the same things. And now...
We were on two different paths. She had moved here to stay, and I wasn't coming back.
As much shit as I'd given her about not wanting a quiet life, about her wanting someone like me, someone living the kind of life I was living, I knew it wasn't good for her. It wasn't the right thing, saddling her with all of my shit.
She was right to want peace and quiet.
She was right to want a normal life.
And there was no way in hell I was the kind of quiet life she was looking for. Shit, I was as far from that as you could get.
I knew I was bad for her, and the fact that I still couldn't keep my hands off her made me the kind of guy who in no way could ever deserve her.
What the fuck was wrong with me, going after her?
There was still something about her that made my brain mush, that overrode my thoughts and took control of me. I could tell myself that I needed to stay away from her, that I was no good for her, and the minute I looked at her, all those thoughts would disappear. They'd be erased by some little thing she would do, that nervous thing she did with her lip, the way she tucked her hair behind her ear, how she scrunched up her nose when she laughed.
I knew I couldn't have her, but I couldn't help myself. She was like some kind of an addiction. But the best kind.
June shifted in her sleep, mumbling words under her breath, a constant murmur, not quite talking in her sleep, but almost. I wondered if she was dreaming about us.
When I finally fell asleep, it was just barely, the dozing kind of twilight sleep I usually had, halfway between being asleep and awake. But at least it wasn't filled with nightmares, and I could feel her, warm beside me.
"Hey," she said, rolling over in the crook of my arm and looking up at me with those big eyes of hers. The sunlight was streaming through the window in her bedroom and I wasn't sure how long I had slept.
"Hey yourself," I said.
"How did you sleep?" She asked, her hand on my chest. I could feel her breasts pressed up against me.
"Not bad," I said. "Considering I had your naked body against me all night."
"And that had an effect on you?" June asked, batting her eyes and giving me an exaggerated surprised look. She pulled back the covers, revealing my hard-on. "Oh my. I guess it does."
"Well, I'd like to give you credit for that, but that's just morning wood."
"You're such a romantic." June laughed, the sound warming the space. She sat up, then jumped out of bed, walking to her bureau to grab a tee shirt. I watched her pulled the baggy shirt over her head, the fabric falling just to her thigh.
"Hey!" I protested. "What, am I getting no love here?"
She grabbed a pillow from the floor and tossed it at me. "I need to let Bailey out," she said, heading to the door as the dog trailed behind her, her tail wagging. "But after that, I've got plans for you. Don't you worry."
"Good," I said. "Because I've got some things I want to do to you."
I was walking out of the bathroom when she came back through the door, her cheeks pink from the cool morning air.
"I've got an extra toothbrush in there somewhere, if you want to borrow it." She said it casually, with a familiarity that made me feel completely at ease, like I'd been with her for years. It was that kind of comfortable thing you had when you knew someone really well.
And I did know her well, didn't I? I'd known her for half my life. It was just the adult years, the ones with all the craziness, where there was a huge gap between us.
"Is that a hint?" I asked. I couldn't help the grin that was plastered all over my face. I felt like a stupid kid again, with a stupid schoolboy crush.
She laughed. "Well, unless you want to kiss me with the sexy morning breath I've got going on, then I'm going to need to brush mine, at least."
I crossed to the other side of the room and slid my hand around to the small of her back, pulling her T-shirt up high on her legs. I cupped her bare ass and kissed her full on the mouth, my tongue finding hers without any hesitation.
I pulled away from her and she smiled.
"Wow," she said.
"Well, you know, I'm a biker. I don't exactly have the highest of standards. So a little morning breath is no problem."
June slugged me on the arm. "Apparently I don't have the highest of standards either," she said, looking me up and down. "And I'm a doctor."
I gave her a mock confused look. "Is that one of those insults only smart people understand?"
She ignored me, sliding her hand between my legs and wrapping her hand around my shaft. "I'm glad that my morning breath didn't have any negative effect on you."
"Oh no," I said. "It definitely did not."
"Good," June said, smacking my ass cheek as she walked past me toward the bathroom. She stripped her tee shirt off and threw it in a ball on the floor. I heard her turn on the shower, and she called from inside the bathroom. "Are you going to join me, or what?"
Hell yeah, I was going to join her.
She was already in the shower, the water cascading over her head, and running in little streams down her shoulders to her breasts, where it dripped off her hard nipples.
God, she looked so sexy.
It was insane, you know, how women always think that guys want some perfect, taut little body, the kind of body you have when you're eighteen. I stood there, looking June up-and-down, and I couldn't help but think she was more beautiful now, almost twenty years since I'd last seen her, than she was back then. I liked the way she'd changed since high school, the little wrinkles around her eyes, the deep wrinkle in the middle of her forehead I was sure came from too much worrying.