She smiled back at me but didn’t say a word as we entered the elevator. I sagged against the wall, trying to keep my balance as it was ascending to the top floor. As soon as we walked into the suite, I kicked off my shoes and threw myself on the couch. Wrapping paper, boxes, sex toys, and lingerie were strewn around the room. Partially empty glasses, bottles of liquor and champagne sat on the coffee table. The night started with so much promise.
“Alright, beautiful. Spill your guts,” Sophia said as she sat down next to me and put my feet in her lap. God, I missed times like these. Sophia and I used to stay up late at night having talks about men and our problems. Life had changed so dramatically for both of us over the last two years. Being here with her, like this, made my broken heart long for the olden days.
“Did you hear what he said to me?” I asked, nestling my head into the soft throw pillow.
“I did. He was drunker than I’ve ever seen him.”
“So what, are you saying I should give him a pass?”
Shaking her head, she rested her hand on my chin. “Never. Fuck that. I’ve learned you can never give someone a free pass, but don’t throw it all away. Look, I fell in love with Kayden and Lord help me that man has been a whole heap of trouble. I should’ve been tougher on him and called him on his bullshit more. I paid the price, but I’ve learned and now we’re in a better place. You need to talk to City and tell him how you feel.”
“He hurt me tonight, Sophia.” I closed my eyes, remembering how my stomach fell when he pushed me away.
“Physically?” Her eyebrows turned downward as her eyes snapped to my face.
“No, he hurt my feelings. He basically said I cheated on him. The accusations stung.” The tears started to flow easier. His words finally sunk in and I’d processed the entire scene as if watching a bad movie. “He’s never been mean to me. Tonight he was just a plain ass**le.”
Sophia chuckled, covering her hand with her mouth.
“What’s so funny?” I squinted at her, not understanding the humor of the situation. “I’m sitting here pouring out my soul and crying and you’re laughing. What the hell, Sophia?”
“You said ass**le like it was a word you used every day. Not so long ago you were using terms like ‘get the heck out of here’ and ‘you big b’. The shit just rolls off your lips like it’s been part of your vernacular for years.” She rubbed my leg, running her nails over my skin. “He’s a man, Suzy. They do not like to see their woman near other men. That guy said some nasty shit too. I’m surprised City didn’t beat the f**k out of him until he was unconscious.”
I sighed, putting my arm over my eyes. “City changed me. I can’t deny it. He made it sound like I was a piece of property. I mean, why doesn’t he just piss on me like a dog marking his territory?” My eyes were heavy and burning. The tears and alcohol made it hard to keep them open.
“Now you’re just being overdramatic. Let’s get you tucked into bed and see how you feel in the morning.” Sophia moved my legs to the couch and pulled me up by my arms. “A little help would be nice,” she said, as she tried to hold me in a sitting position.
“I’m just so tired. Just leave me here.” I opened my eyes to look at her and quickly closed them after seeing she wasn’t amused.
“Get your ass in that bed. All the drunk bitches will be back and they’ll wake you up.”
I stood, using Sophia for leverage and wobbled. “Yes, Mom. You’re so damn bossy.” I smiled, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. “I’ve missed you, Soph. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
She wrapped her arms around me embracing me in a tender hug. “You’d be at home making lists about lists.” She chuckled, releasing me and helping me toward the main bedroom.
“You’re probably right. I was such a boring human being.” My voice had become quiet, almost mouse-like as sleep started to overcome me.
“In you go, princess,” Sophia said as she pulled back the covers.
I didn’t bother to get undressed. I just wanted to sleep. I wanted tonight to be over and deal with everything tomorrow. Grabbing an extra pillow, I turned on my side, tucking it into my body. I’d grown used to snuggling against City. I needed something to fill the void and the pillow was my only option.
The lights turned off before I heard the click of the door as I drifted off into a restful sleep. All thoughts and worries disappeared as I dreamed about my City. His deep voice, ice blue eyes, and the feel of his arms wrapped around me. I could feel the love he had for me even in my dreams. He invaded every part of my life, became ingrained in my entire being.
I loved him even subconsciously.
Chapter 8 ~ Groveling Doesn’t Make Me Weak
I rolled over, feeling for my phone, but didn’t find it where I left it. Somehow, during the night I had pushed it under Suzy’s pillow. I tossed and turned, waking up feeling like I never slept a f**king wink. There were no new messages or calls on my phone and no word from Suzy or any of the girls.
Bits and pieces started coming back to me as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I f**ked up and I managed to do it royally. I left Suzy behind without so much as an “I love you”, just an accusation and shitty words. I had to fix it. I f**ked up and I had to man up and say I’m sorry.
I grabbed my head, the throbbing almost blinding as I climbed out of bed. The quiet from the night before that felt deafening now became overwhelming. I couldn’t sit around the house today and idly wait for Suzy to come home so that I could ask for her forgiveness. I had to go to her, find her, and mend the shattered pieces I made of our relationship.