And how was she supposed to live with that? The emotional pressure, as well as her own feelings, twisted and fought inside her until she felt the raking talons of her own lack of answers. She looked at both women, seeing anger, but also their compassion and understanding. They knew how she struggled, how she fought. She could see it in their eyes, in their acceptance of the men they loved.
“How can you do it?” she whispered. “Walk into a room and know the man you love has just had sex with another woman?”
“Not just another woman, Heather.” Marly leaned forward, her expression sincere, kind. “A sister. And I know it’s not just lust. He’s a part of Brock. His soul is merged so tightly with his brothers that he loves and needs Sarah, not as deeply, but just as true as Brock does. And it’s the same for Brock and for Sam, Heather.”
“We’ve watched them, Heather,” Sarah spoke then. “The closer Sam gets to you, the more instinctive Brock and Cade’s attraction to you becomes. It’s instinct, because they know each other that well…are that much a part of each other. And nothing you or I or Marly can do will change that. And if you want the truth, that part I wouldn’t want to change. Because I love Sam and Cade, too. They are a part of me.
Not as deeply as Brock is, but still, a part of me.”
Heather looked to Marly. She nodded slowly, her expression showing her agreement, her acceptance of the men and the love she had for all of them.
“I don’t think I can do it,” she whispered.
“Heather, Sam will lead you through it. You’ll know when it’s right, and when it’s needed. And then,
only then, can you really make the decision.”
“And don’t say you aren’t attracted to them all, either,” Marly snorted then. “I saw your face when you walked into the kitchen on us. You’re attracted, Heather, and be damned thankful you are Sam’s life, because that’s the only way in hell I’d let you within a mile of Cade.”
There was a smile on her face, but Heather knew she meant every word of it.
“This family is insane.” She sat back on the couch heavily, leaning her head back, closing her eyes and shaking her head at the impossibility of the situation. “Every damned one of you is certifiable.”
Chapter Twelve
Heather gave Sam several hours to find her. Long after the meeting with Rick was over, and the other men had retreated to their rooms with the women, Sam still hadn’t shown up. The whispered cries of sexual release penetrated the thick walls of their bedrooms, drifting into her room. The men were separate, though. They weren’t sharing, weren’t turning to each other, and Heather felt a vague warning in that knowledge. An uncomfortable sense of an impending storm with the potential to destroy them all.
The worry became so intense that she finally left her bedroom and went searching for Sam. She knew he hadn’t come to his own room. She would have heard him if he had.
“Heather.” Rick stepped into the entryway as she descended the stairs.
He was positioned at the front door, watching the night from the long, tinted windows at the side of the door.
“Seen Sam, Rick?” Heather asked softly, hopingTara wasn’t around. Her sister was becoming so overprotective it was beginning to grate on her nerves.
“Game room.Sure you want to go searching for him?” Rick asked her gently. “He’s in a dangerous mood, Heather.”
She pushed her fingers through her hair, licking her lips nervously.
“He shouldn’t be alone.”
“He has his family,” he argued softly. “He’ll go to them when he needs to.”
She shook her head and smiled sadly. “Haven’t you noticed, Rick? He rarely does anymore. I bet the limo was only the second time he’s had sex since I came to stay here. He’s dangerous because he’s alone.”
“Heather.” He grimaced tightly. “Tara’s worried about this. And so am I. I don’t think you’re ready to be what Sam needs.”
“Maybe not.” She shook her head, remembering her earlier conversation with Sarah and Marly. Tears pricked her eyes because it was the one question she couldn’t answer. Could she handle it? “But I can’t leave him like this either, Rick. It’s breaking my heart.”
He watched her, his brown eyes dark and intense before he nodded his head abruptly and gave her one of those small, self-conscious smiles that had endeared him to her years ago.
“He’s a lucky man then.”
“I wish he saw it that way, “ she said in resignation. “Thanks, Rick.”
She moved away from him, drawing the edges of her long robe together as she made her way through the house to the basement entrance. And there she found Sam, alone, the air of shifting violence that surrounded him stronger than ever before.
“You’re worrying your family, you know.” Heather stepped into the game room, a large room arrayed with damned near every amusement a man could want.
A regulation-sized pool table dominated the center of the first quarter area of the room. Farther inside the wide area were arcade game machines, a wide screen television, a bar in the far corner, and a few scattered conversational areas made up of curved sectional couches and a chair or two. The furniture was wide and comfortable, the carpet under her feet was thick and luxurious, and in the dim light cast by the two single wall lamps, Sam stood, picking off pool balls with an air of bored contempt.
He was hiding here, she thought. Bare-chested, dressed in a pair of dark blue sweat pants, his feet bare.
Sexy as hell and as tempting as sin as he watched her with that narrowed, brooding look that set her blood temperature rising.
He straightened, propping himself against the pool table as he watched her enter the room with narrowed eyes. His strong-boned face was lined with sorrow, his blue-gray eyes dark with exhaustion, and with a shadow of horror that broke her heart. The nightmares were growing worse for him, she knew. She heard him nightly as he came awake with a snarl, death echoing in the sound of his voice.
Die, you mother f**ker!
She wondered if he knew what he cried out. Did he know the rage, the horror, the unbearable pain that echoed in his voice?
“The family doesn’t have anything better to do than worry,” he finally shrugged. Muscle rippled beneath his broad shoulders as he turned from her, the tanned flesh glowing beneath the dim light, sleek and tough, tempting her to touch.