“What would you call it?”
“He thinks he’s protecting you,” Heather pointed out.
“I’m aware of that, Heather,” Marly sighed then, sitting down on the bed wearily. “It’s the only reason I don’t kick his ass now.”
Heather fought the grin that wanted to touch her lips at the thought of the petite, delicate Marly attempting to kick big Cade August’s ass. It would be an interesting sight…a lesson in futility, she thought humorously.
“Sam’s right, your sense of humor is warped. That wasn’t supposed to be funny,” Marly accused her with a frown.
Heather could only shake her head.
“Why didn’t you stay?” Sarah asked her then. “You could have at least let us know what they were talking about later.”
“Do I look like your spy?” Heather grumbled. “I couldn’t tell you anything.”
“Of course you could,” Marly waved her hand carelessly. “You are quite aware that those men are only hurting themselves, Heather. We need to know what’s going on.”
“I know that having even one of us down there while Rick is dissecting their pride isn’t a good idea,” she countered. “Until I break Sam of this idea that he has to share me with your lovers, then I’m a weakness to all of them.”
“And you think you can do that?” Sarah leaned back in her chair and watched Heather as she sat on the edge of the couch. “Break him of that idea?”
Heather frowned. The other woman wasn’t being sarcastic, rather mildly amused, which grated on her nerves.
“Sarah, you two are entirely too accepting of these relationships for comfort,” she said warily.
“Of course we accept it.” Marly shrugged. “Heather, we have every woman’s dream. Three men who live, and I mean live, for our pleasure and our comfort. They love us, completely, accept our moods and enjoy our differences. What isn’t there to accept?”
“Marly, your lover f**ks another woman.” Heather felt as helpless in the face of these two women as she had when Sam had attempted to explain it.
“And mine f**ks her,” Sarah countered. “Not anyone else, Heather, and only because she’s a part of Cade. These men aren’t like other brothers, and I know that’s hard to accept. But you have to understand; it’s who they are. You can’t change it. He might stop to please you, because he loves you, but that need will be there, and it will only grow. If you can’t accept it, then you need to stay as far away from Sam as possible.”
Heather came to her feet in a surge of anger. “I love him, Sarah. And I know he loves me. I can feel it; I can see it.”
“And he still comes to me and Marly when he needs us.” Her voice was gentle, her expression compassionate. “I can’t turn him away any more than I could turn Brock away. I would hurt us all to do so. How do you fit that into your perception of love now?”
Confusion washed over her. She had never discussed their relationships with their men with them, had avoided it every chance she had. Now it was there and impossible to ignore, and she found herself wishing she had stayed downstairs instead.
“He just needs to heal,” she whispered desperately.
“No, Heather, he needs to face it,” Marly said then. “Sam hasn’t faced the past, he doesn’t remember it, and refuses to face it. When he does, he’ll heal. But he won’t change. To a point, Cade and Brock have both faced what happened. It’s painful, and sometimes, though rarely, the nightmares are still there. But it hasn’t changed that need inside them.”
“Men will take what you let them get away with.” Heather could feel her body trembling with a rush of nervous energy. “You let them get away with it.”
Sarah sighed as she shook her head. “If it were any other man, I would agree with you.” She stared up at the ceiling somberly. “Mark was my ex-husband, Heather, and he screwed anything he could get to open its thighs for him. But Brock’s not like that.” Heather watched as she lowered her head again, her golden brown eyes intent, piercing. “Brock loves me; I’m his heart and soul. But he loves Marly too, and even you, because Cade and Sam do. They aren’t separate like other brothers are, Heather. A part of them—a very intrinsic, spiritual part of those men—is so closely bound that you’ll never separate them. If you try, you’ll hurt them all.”
“And they’ve been hurt enough.” Marly’s voice carried an edge of warning.
“Or maybe the two of you are just loathe to lose the affection and the relationship you have with each of those men.” She voiced the suspicion that had filled her for months.
“Heather.” Sarah held her hand up when Marly would have spoken. “I understand you’re upset, and
even angry. I was at one time, too, just as Marly was. Upset because we didn’t understand, to the extent that we’ve grown to understand, these three men. This isn’t a life that just any woman could lead.
Selfishness and possessiveness won’t work here. And you’ll see, if you accept Sam for who he is, that there’s no need for it. But it’s something you have to accept alone.”
There was such compassion, such understanding in Sarah’s tone that Heather’s throat tightened with emotion. She couldn’t accuse these two women of not loving their individual men, but she knew they loved each other’s, as well as Sam, too. She shook her head, fighting her emotions, her sense of what was right and what was wrong, and found that still, she had no answers.
“Heather, Sam does love you,” Marly said softly. “I know he does. I know you’re all he wants, all he needs, to ease the pain he carries. Without you, Sarah and I…” She seemed to struggle for words. “It’s like needing water, and being given a soda instead. It eases for a moment, but the thirst is still there, and it’s soul deep.”
“If he loved me, I would be enough,” she whispered, fighting her tears as she crossed her arms protectively beneath her heart. “He has to love me enough.”
“Or maybe you have to love him enough,” Sarah said gently. “I suspect the demons Sam lives with.
Marly and I both suspect that it wasn’t Cade who killed that bastard, but Sam. If that’s true, Heather, then that means Cade and Brock know it, they protect him from it, for a reason. Sam’s heart is softer, gentler than the other two. He’s the one that brings home stray puppies, even now. The one that plays Santa every Christmas for families in the county who don’t have money for their kids. The one that does what’s needed to lighten everyone else when the demons are at their worse. You won’t change Sam, Heather. But you, and you alone, could very well destroy him.”