“But, like you said, here you are. Why is that?”
“I don’t know. I mean beyond the sex, we’re going out and doing things. He took me to the park and we went ice-skating. We bought a tree for his place and decorated it together. And then he showed up at the theater today and watched me dance.”
“Horrors.”
Stella slanted her a look. “Seriously. Rehearsals are closed, and yet Lawrence welcomed Trick with open arms. I didn’t even know he was there until we had a break.”
“Maybe Lawrence is a big hockey fan.”
“His partner is, and Trick snuck in there by promising Lawrence season tickets to the Travelers so he could surprise his partner.”
“Awww, that’s sweet. He cares enough about you that he wanted to see you dance, Stell.”
Stella shrugged.
“And all the other things, like shopping for a tree, and going ice-skating together? That sounds like two people who enjoy each other going out and having fun.”
“It sounds like a relationship,” she shot back, then realized her voice had a little more force and venom than she would have liked.
“You’re making it sound like a bad thing, when in fact, it sounds to me like the man is in love with you.”
Stella took a long swallow of her water and sighed. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“So you don’t return his feelings.”
“I do. That’s the problem. The big, huge thing that keeps me up at night. I think I’ve fallen in love with him, Carolina. Do you know how awful that is?”
Carolina shook her head. “No, honey, I’m sorry, but I don’t.” She reached over and smoothed her hand over her hair. “What are you so afraid of?”
She’d never talked about it. Not to anyone. Greta knew about the breakup, but Stella hadn’t even told her sister the real story. At least not what had kept her from committing to anyone all these years.
“I was dating this guy—Vernon—about eight years ago. I was eighteen when we met and we were together two years. It was so intense. We were in love. Living together. Planning a future together. We were both dancers. It was great, you know? He really understood me since we had the same career.”
Carolina nodded. “Makes sense.”
“I thought it was forever. Until he got a job offer to dance in Los Angeles. And he took it.”
“Without talking to you about it?” Carolina asked.
Stella nodded.
“So he broke up with you?”
“No. He just assumed I’d give up my career here and move with him. He figured I’d get another job at some point out in L.A. Like my job at the time didn’t even matter at all.”
“That’s insane.”
“I agree. When I told him I wasn’t moving, he got mad at me and complained about me not loving him. I did love him and I wanted to figure out a way to work things out, but with him there was no compromise. He’d made a unilateral decision without consulting me. I was heartbroken. I love New York, I had a great gig at the time, and I wanted to stay here. He said if I really loved him, I’d move with him. It was so black-and-white to him, when it was anything but to me.”
Carolina shook her head. “Men can be so stupid and egotistical sometimes.”
“Right? I told him I wasn’t moving. I loved New York and intended to stay here. You would have thought from the way he looked at me that I’d cut off his right leg or something. He had the nerve to act like he was the one who’d been hurt.”
Carolina rolled her eyes.
“The breakup was ugly. I thought I was going to marry him, and instead, he moved away. I lost trust in men after that.”
“He hurt you. Badly. And no wonder you’ve been relationship-shy all these years. But all men aren’t like Vernon, honey.”
“Logic tells me that. My heart tells me something different. I just couldn’t risk falling so deeply in love and letting someone hurt me like that again. Or maybe it’s me. Maybe there’s something broken inside of me.”
“You’re not broken, Stell. You were hurt, and when someone breaks your trust like that, it’s hard to get over. I went through something similar with Drew, if you recall. It was hard for me to trust in him again.”
Stella nodded. “I remember. And if I recall, my advice to you was to fuck him and dump him. Some sage advice that was. Drew’s a great guy and he loves you. You love him. It all worked out for you, and clearly I had no idea what I was talking about. See? I don’t think I can be trusted where men and my emotions are concerned.”
Carolina laughed. “You were just trying to protect me. You were being a friend. And now I’m going to be one to you. Don’t judge all men by how Vernon treated you. If you love Trick, maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt. At least talk to him about your fears.”
Maybe she should. She’d never told anyone about Vernon. And now she’d told Carolina, who hadn’t made her feel stupid about it. “I guess. I’ll try.”
Carolina squeezed her hand. “See? Progress.”
Chapter Eleven
They were tied two to two after the end of the second period. Trick’s frustration level was high, but he was trying to keep his focus. They all were. It was intermission, so they sat in the locker room, attempting to figure out a strategy so they could win this goddamn game.
“They’re killing off our power plays,” their coach said. “We have to do better there.”
Coach was right about that. They weren’t taking advantage of the power plays. They’d had three so far and hadn’t capitalized on any of them.
“Their goals have been lucky shots. We can beat these guys. Our strength and stamina are better, so let’s go show them what we can do.”
They stood, and raised their sticks in the air, touching them together.
“You guys are the best team I’ve ever coached,” the coach said. “Now, let’s kick their butts.”
They took the ice to the cheer of the crowd, something that always fired up Trick. With the home crowd behind them, he knew they could win this. Now they just had to prove to their fans they were as good as the applause they were getting.
Drew took the face-off and Trick clutched his stick, ready for the puck. When it sailed away from him, he took off after it, only to skid to a halt when Drew scooped the puck up and shot it toward him. He was right by the net, so he took the shot.