When he opened the door, she was in the middle of the room, her eyes slightly puffy — he assumed from lack of sleep. It certainly couldn’t be attributed to crying. She was strong and had nothing to cry about. Up until their fight earlier, they’d been getting along perfectly, for the last few days, at least.
As he moved near her, the scent of her shampoo drifted around him, making him lose track of what he’d just been thinking about.
Damn!
Focus, he ordered himself silently.
Rachel didn’t say anything; she just waited to see what he’d come to her for. Her expressive eyes seemed almost haunted, afraid. He couldn’t understand what had happened this afternoon, why she’d had such an about-face in moods.
He could understand her silence after their fight, though he still didn’t understand the fight itself, or how it had started. Why was she so angry with him for caring about how she was feeling? If she was sick, he wanted her treated. It was ridiculous that she should take offense at his concerns.
“Your brother is here.”
That isn’t what he’d intended to say, but it came out anyway. Walking to her wide windows and looking down at the grounds below, he told himself to breathe deeply and remain calm. It didn’t behoove a king to feel such a lack of control.
When he turned back to face her, she wore an impenetrable expression. Normally, he could read her fairly easily, but not now. Fear still shone in her eyes, but he didn’t understand what she was afraid of. Surely not him.
“I know. I just got done speaking with Ari, but I appreciate that you came here to tell me,” she finally said, with just the slightest hitch to her voice.
“I’m sure he would enjoy your company when you feel up to it.” They were both being so formal, it was ridiculous.
If killing someone with nothing but a look happened outside myth, his problems would be over. Her eyes flashed lethally, and yet he was almost grateful to see light coming to them.
“Thank you. Let him know I’ll be down in thirty minutes.”
With that, she turned away.
Adriane’s shoulders stiffened as he faced her back. This had to stop; it was time she got over her snit.
“I’m sorry if I offended you this morning. I still don’t understand what went wrong, but upsetting you was certainly not my intention.”
There. He was being the better man and apologizing, though he didn’t see what he needed to apologize for. Still, if it would get this fight over with, his apology was worth it.
“There’s no need to apologize, Adriane. I just need some time to think,” she said, walking to her closet and grabbing a coat.
“Where are you going?” He hated the anxiety that kept assailing him. With her brother there, it had grown worse.
“I’m going to walk on the beach. I need to clear my head — make some decisions.”
The decisions had to be whether to leave with her brother or not. Adriane couldn’t let that happen. If he did, he knew he would always regret it.
“A storm is brewing and the wind’s picking up, so please don’t be gone long.”
“I’m not worried, and I won’t go far,” she said.
“Rachel…”
She paused as she turned to look at him. What did he want to say? Was he going to beg her not to leave? He took a step forward, but his pride prevented him from acting.
“What, Adriane?” She seemed impatient.
“We’re going to be fine, Rachel. I know you’re upset today, but everything is fine between us. I enjoy being with you.” He was almost surprised by his confession, but he wasn’t unhappy he’d said it.
She paused as she looked at him, gazing into his eyes as if trying to read into his words, trying to see if there was a deeper meaning behind them.
She said nothing, so he continued. “Our marriage will be good. We will please each other. I won’t have another woman in my bed — I won’t cheat. And I will be a good father.”
“What exactly are you telling me?”
What was he telling her?
He didn’t know. He was giving her all he knew how to give her. He was trying to make her stay.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
It was unbelievable how hard that was for him to say.
Her face grew sad, as if he’d disappointed her. What was he doing wrong? What would make this all better?
“I know, Adriane,” she finally whispered as she came close to him and lifted her hand, rubbing her fingers against his cheek. He lifted his own and pressed her fingers to his face, not wanting to lose her touch. It was almost as if she were saying a goodbye. “I need to walk.”
With that, she pulled away and stepped past him, and he found himself alone, enveloped by her scent.
Unable to stand being in there without her, he left the room and closed the door. He had to collect himself and figure out what he was going to do if she decided she just couldn’t be with him anymore.
It was an unbearable thought.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
AS IF ON cue, the storm picked up speed. As Rachel stepped from the warmth and security of the palace, she was hit with a gust of wind so strong, it nearly blew her over. But she had to think, had to get away from the stagnant air she’d been breathing inside.
What was he saying to her? Did he care? It seemed that way to her each time they made love.
She’d been a fool to think she could ever just be Adriane’s friend. She’d wanted that for the sake of the children she carried, but how could she not fall in love with the man when she made love to him? Though some women might be able to have meaningless sex, she wasn’t built that way.
At least she had accomplished her goal — so to speak. She’d gotten to know Adriane about as well as anyone could. He wasn’t easy to know: he was too closed off to the world. Maybe that was from being born royal. Too many people sought only to use him.
She wasn’t one of those people. But did he know that?
And how long could she continue hoping he would give her all of himself? She deserved that; she didn’t deserve to be kept there waiting, waiting, and waiting for the day he’d profess his undying love.
But at this point could she simply walk away? Give in so easily? He seemed so close. If she hadn’t realized her heart was involved, the decision would be so much easier. She was terrified, though, that if she stayed now and he never felt anything more than a fondness for her, she would slowly wither away.