All Rachel had to do was enter a room and his body hardened and his heart rate accelerated. Even after their passionate encounters, several times a day over the last few days, he hadn’t had enough — not nearly enough.
Even with anger wreaking havoc inside him, he was still hard for her, still wanted to haul her off to bed and ravish her again and again. Perhaps it would be easier for him to tie her up in the bedroom, the only place he seemed to have any control over her.
Would their children suffer if he continued to insist on this marriage? Was she really that unhappy with him? He’d thought he was being good to her, but maybe she still believed him a monster.
How could she make love to him night after night if she despised him?
Even as the thought flitted through Adriane’s mind, he knew he had used women before. He’d lain with many — a long line of nameless faces — just to have his needs met.
Walking away from those nameless faces hadn’t been difficult to do, not even a little.
So was that what she was doing? Was she scratching her itch, so to speak?
The thought made his chest feel hollow. But why should he care? If it made her stay, he didn’t need to have her be in love with him. Love could end in hate; it could end in bitterness and divorce. Wouldn’t it be even harder for him if he got to spend every day with his children for a few years only to have them taken away when she decided she’d had enough?
No, it was wiser to not involve love.
He felt confident in his conclusions.
But as he stood there, he felt somehow empty at such a thought. Gazing out the window, he realized it was too late for him. He didn’t know if this was love, but he did feel something for her. It wasn’t just friendship, and it wasn’t just great sex.
There was more to what he was feeling for this woman who defied him every chance she got. Was this what love was all about? Was this that mythical emotion people spoke of?
It couldn’t be, could it?
How could he be in love with her? She exasperated him — tormented him — angered him almost as much as she heated his blood. If she weren’t carrying his children, he wouldn’t even think of marrying her, would he?
That thought caused physical pain to rip through his stomach.
What was going on with him? Adriane took another long swallow of his whiskey, hoping it soothed this strange emotion inside the hollowness.
“I see my sister isn’t making life easy for you.”
Adriane turned to find a smug-looking Rafe standing in the doorway, looking pointedly at Adriane’s nearly empty glass. How the man had managed to charm his staff enough to get in to his private study unannounced, he didn’t know.
“Your sister is certainly a handful,” Adriane said as he moved back to the cabinet and refilled his glass before offering one to Rafe.
“Don’t mind if I do,” Rafe said, stepping up beside him.
A deep panic started in Adriane’s stomach as he began to wonder why Rafe was there. Had Rachel called him — asked to be picked up? Hadn’t he decided that if she refused to stay past this point, he would let her go? What else could he do, after all?
Just the thought of her leaving stirred him up within. No!
“What are you doing back here so soon?” Adriane asked, trying to control his tone.
“Can’t a friend stop by for a visit?” Rafe asked instead of answering.
“I’m not in the mood, Rafe,” Adriane said.
Rafe studied him for several long moments before downing the contents of his glass and walking over to the sofa to make himself comfortable. Adriane couldn’t sit, not with the way his gut was churning. He almost wished it were olden times, and he could hop on his trusty steed and ride off to do battle with the enemy.
Even going mano a mano with modern-day terrorists seemed pretty appealing at this particular moment. Anything to work off this frustration.
“Do you love my sister, Adriane?”
Stunned that those words had come from Rafe’s mouth, Adriane turned toward the man who had been his friend for so many years — actually, he’d really been more of a cold and calculating business acquaintance. Rafe had changed.
Yes, there was still the gleam of the ruthless businessman in his eyes, but if you looked a little deeper, there was a peacefulness there too. Adriane didn’t know what to think about that, but obviously Rafe had been hit by Cupid’s arrow.
“We’re having twins together,” he said, avoiding Rafe’s question.
“That’s not news, Adriane, and also not what I’m asking, as you’re well aware.”
“I don’t love anyone,” Adriane said, though that was possibly a lie. His feelings were none of Rafe’s business.
Rafe was silent as he studied Adriane, who suddenly felt as if he was being carefully scrutinized beneath a high-powered microscope.
Adriane was king of Corythia. He didn’t squirm!
Standing tall, he squared his shoulders and owned his answer. It might not be the answer Rafe wanted to hear, but at least he was being honest. OK, a nagging thought in the back of his mind told him he was being anything but honest — which was the heart of his problem.
“I don’t think you’re telling the truth, Adriane. I think you have deeper feelings than you care to admit. Whether or not you want to share them with Rachel is up to you. Man to man, though, I’ll be honest with you. If Rachel wants to go home, nothing will stop me from taking her with me.”
“I appreciate the warning,” Adriane said, his voice dull. “It is her choice to leave or not.”
With that, Adriane walked from the room. He couldn’t stand there with her brother any longer. He couldn’t face being reminded that she might leave him.
He was sure his strange reactions were really nothing — a temporary spike of insanity brought on by the strange and fraught circumstances.
If only he could convince himself that’s all it was.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
TAKING A BREATH of courage outside of Rachel’s door, Adriane felt his irritation grow. Why should he fear speaking to her? They were both adults.
Maybe if the two of them had been more honest with each other from the start, he wouldn’t be standing here afraid she was going to leave. He’d tried to be honest, surely he had, but what he was feeling was overwhelming. He didn’t understand it, didn’t trust it.
The two of them would have a wonderful existence together, raising their children, and enjoying a healthy sex life. They had that department nailed down. Why couldn’t that be enough? Why did these strange emotions have to seep in and make him worry?