“Coert—” I began.
“It is and I’ll keep you as safe as I can keep you. You help with that, this gets done and then that’s it. It’s finally over. For the both of us.”
That’s it.
It’s over.
For both of us.
No Coert using his gentle voice. No Coert understanding how something that happened so long ago could reverberate through our lives to this day. No Coert with his fingers wrapped around mine looking down at me like he still belonged at my side, holding my hand.
That would just be . . .
It.
“Thank you anyway,” I said quietly.
“My job,” he muttered, looked down to Midnight, gave her another head scratch and then turned to the door. “Later, Cady.”
“Goodbye, Coert.”
His eyes moved through mine.
And then he and his saw and his toolbox disappeared through the door.
Tony sat up as I moved on him, both his hands racing up the sides of my spine, into my hair, but I didn’t need the invitation.
I’d already bent my neck, was grasping his thick hair at the sides of his head and my mouth was on his, open, my tongue plundering.
I couldn’t get enough of the taste of him. Never could. No matter how often we kissed and we kissed often.
I couldn’t get enough of the feel of his hard cock deep inside me either. I wanted to grind into it but I needed to move, feel the friction, slam my clit into the base.
He tore his mouth from mine.
“Cady,” he growled, his fists in my hair tugging back, the pain at my scalp searing down my spine, over my bottom, between my legs, buzzing my clit.
My back arched, his mouth closed over a nipple . . .
“Tony,” I moaned.
In the memory.
“Coert,” I moaned in my bed with my vibrator held to my clit, my back off the bed, my heels digging into it.
The orgasm flowed through me so deeply, I had to snatch the toy from my flesh because it was too much, too beautiful, too perfect.
I whimpered and panted and let it happen then I breathed deeply and opened my eyes to the dark of my bedroom. Total dark with the blackout blinds over the windows closing out the rotating beam of my lighthouse.
As if she knew it was over, Midnight moved from the floor to the bed and settled beside me as I stared into the dark, setting aside my toy and pulling an arm outside the covers to dive my fingers into her fur.
She adjusted her head so it was on my hip.
I kept staring into the dark, feeling the wet hit my eyes as the memory of one of the many times Coert and I had connected overwhelmed me in a different way.
Since him, I’d only ever fantasized about him, mostly using memories, like that one.
Since him, I’d never climaxed again with a man, though there were very few men I’d allowed myself to share that intimacy with.
And before him, I never even got close.
So really, it had only ever been him.
Tony.
Coert.
Him.
Midnight whined and burrowed closer.
In the few days I’d had her, I’d begun to learn she was not only a one-person dog, she was an exceptionally sensitive one.
“I’m okay, baby,” I whispered, stroking her fur.
I was not.
I was in love with Coert Yeager in a way that it just simply would never die.
Never.
I’d denied it long enough. Hid from it. Buried it.
But the fact was, I was out there not (just) for Patrick.
I was out there for me.
I was out there for Coert.
I was out there to get him back.
And I’d been out there for months.
But I hadn’t even tried.
It was risky for more than one reason, but risks had to be taken, especially when something this important was at stake.
And opportunities could no longer be missed.
I’d had opportunities since I got to Maine, small ones, huge ones, opportunities so colossal, they shouted at me in my own living room.
But I’d allowed emotion and history to guide me to squandering them.
Not anymore.
Eighteen years ago Coert and I fell together against all odds.
Then it ended.
And neither of us got over it.
No more missed opportunities.
It was time to risk everything.
Since Coert had shared that Lars was a threat lurking out there possibly intent on killing one or both of us, he’d set me up with my dog, my speakeasy, and he’d held true on getting me a gun and getting me somewhere where someone could show me how to use it.
But outside a woman from the sheriff station who identified herself as “Monica, Sheriff Yeager’s assistant,” phoning with some frequency to share (not always the same words but always the same message), “The sheriff is still devoting all the resources he can to the matter of finding Lars Pedersen. However he wishes you to know that you still need to be cautious, stay alert and report anything troubling because Mr. Pedersen is still at large,” there had been nothing from Coert.
So he wasn’t giving me any opportunities.
Thus I had to make one.
And the one I decided to make was, considering he was the sheriff and there’d been a fire in town and the town website provided the news they’d be discussing a referendum about whether or not to devote more resources to Magdalene’s fire department, I thought it highly likely Coert would attend the town council meeting.
He probably attended them all.
So I would attend as well.
I had cover.
I mean, there was a man out there who might want me dead.
The problem was, I had to go and there was a man out there who might want me dead.
Since I’d learned this news, Midnight and I might go out during the day, but we stayed in at night.
As Coert had instructed, I’d told Walt what was happening.
As I had suspected, Walt lost his mind and tried to get me (and Midnight) to move in with him and Amanda (and it should be noted, their three young children).
I had gently refused (I didn’t need Walt, Amanda and three young children in the path of a man bent on vengeance).
However, I did not gently refuse him planting one of his guys in my studio. It was, Walt told me in an effort to convince me to say yes, a win-win since his guy was on the outs with his girl and she’d demanded he leave the home they shared so he was sleeping on a buddy’s couch.
I didn’t really need him to convince me.
So Elijah moved into the studio, but Walt really only lost his bad mood about all of this when he saw the alarm company install my alarm.
I had met Elijah in passing. He was large. He seemed friendly.
I found later he loved dogs and he also could put away a great deal of food, and I knew this because I cooked for him every night (it was nice to have company, and anyway, I liked Elijah a lot). And Midnight, he and I watched TV in my second floor family room every night as well, after he helped me clean up, and while watching, Elijah snacked unreservedly (yes, even after a large dinner).
So like everything in my life, bad (even very bad) turned to good, because I got Midnight out of it. I got Elijah out of it. And Midnight might be (somewhat) lame and really did not like strangers (thus would be a little scary if I didn’t know she was a cuddle monster), and Elijah might be twenty-six and from our conversations entirely clueless about women.
But they were now mine.
And I was keeping them.
Even with all that, the town council meeting was at night and I couldn’t exactly bring Elijah with me (though he’d come if I’d asked because he was clueless about women but still very sweet and protective) when I was planning to attempt to make inroads with Coert.
And although I’d learned to load and shoot a .22 caliber pistol, I wasn’t really feeling comfortable carrying it in my purse.
So my line of defense was going to be Midnight (when we loaded up, though, I put the gun in the glove compartment as one couldn’t be too careful when someone might want them dead).
And as beautiful as she was, I couldn’t take Midnight into the council meeting.
Therefore I decided to hang outside with Midnight in the car in hopes of catching Coert outside, and when I did, I’d make my move.
I was right. Coert showed at the town council meeting.
But he showed and walked right in.
Which was not helpful.