We sit in silence for a little as he makes the drive across town.
“You hungry?” he asks, pulling up to the front of his house “I can order us something or take you somewhere, if you like.”
“I ate, so I’m okay, unless you want to get something.” He ate at the diner while he watched me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a man as big as him ate every few hours. Firemen must work out a lot.
“The only thing I want to eat right now is you.” He words are deep and sensual and send a thrill up my spine. My face heats. I don’t think he knows I have no idea what I’m doing. Maybe I could fake it. I know about sex, I just haven’t done it. I don’t want to disappoint him, but the way he looks at me makes me think I could just stand here and he’d be happy with me. Whole, like he said.
“Don’t move,” he says before hopping out of his truck and coming around to my side and opening the door, giving me his hand to help me down. It’s not even a high truck, so his attentiveness has me fighting a giggle.
“You always this sweet?” I ask, looking up at him through my lashes.
He wraps an arm around me, pulling me close as we walk towards his door.
“My mom taught me manners, but I don’t recall anyone ever calling me sweet.” When we get to his door, he unlocks it and pulls me into his place. He shuts and locks the door behind me. The lock has barely clicked into place when he’s on me, caging me in with his big body. His hands rest on the door behind me, bracketing my head.
I still don’t feel a trace of fear. My hands go to his chest, my fingers digging into his shirt.
“Strawberry or mango?” he says, and I raise an eyebrow at the odd question.
“Thought you weren’t hungry.”
“I meant, which smell do you like more?” He presses into me.
“I’m partial to both,” I tell him, unsure what this is about.
“Good. I got you both. I’d get you anything you asked for,” he says, then his mouth is on mine once again. The kiss is just like our first one. The same need clawing at us both. Before I know it my legs are wrapped around him and he’s carrying me through the house, my back hitting his bed. I still don’t let go of him, keeping my body wrapped around him. I don’t want any space between us, and I need this contact more than my next breath.
He looks down at me with the most intense look I’ve ever seen, and it steals my breath.
“You look like an angel. I shouldn’t want to do all these things to an angel, but I don’t think I can stop myself. I don’t even think God could stop me at this point,” he admits. I can see he’s trying to fight himself. He’s trying to pull back, but I don’t want that. I want him.
I wiggle under him, desperate for him to keep going. I want more of him, wanting all of the things he makes me feel.
“Then don’t.” I’ll be his as long as he wants me. I’d give him anything if he always made me feel like this.
12
Phoenix
I’d done some digging while I waited for Fia to finish her shift at the diner. I’d talked to Jim again and given him her name and gotten as much as I could. I knew her dad had died and had been reported for abuse on several occasions, and that she and her mom had been in and out of shelters before finally getting on her feet when she was old enough to start working. I also saw found out that she is close to finishing college, but had dropped out when her mom passed away. I’d checked and she was preregistered for the fall semester in school, but I’m willing to bet the fire sent those dreams up in smoke and set her back to where she was.
Seeing her under me right now and knowing that she’s willing to give herself over to me has me feeling things I’ve never dared feel before. When I said “fiancée” earlier, I’d done so without thinking about what it might do to her. If it might scare Fia away, or make her think I was crazy. But that’s exactly what this is. Crazy ridiculous. But damn if it doesn’t feel like the absolute right decision. I'd wanted her before I'd found out about her past, but as I find out more about her, I want to make sure no hurt ever touches her again.
“This is all moving so fast,” I say, feeling myself pushing towards the edge of no return. “Don’t give me something and then take it back, Fia. I don’t care what this makes me sounds like, but I need to know that you won’t run out on me. That if we do this, and you give yourself to me, this means something to you.”
She smiles at me, running her fingers through my hair. “I’m not going anywhere, Derek. Just please don’t break my heart.”
“The only thing I plan on breaking is this headboard.”
She starts to laugh, but it turns into a moan as my mouth goes to her neck and starts to kiss her. I’m ravenous for her, but I’m trying to go slow. However, three seconds into my plan, I give up, pulling off her clothes as quickly as I can.
“I can’t go slow, Fia. I’m trying, but it’s not working.”
I pull at my own clothes as she starts to strip down the rest of hers, taking off her simple white panties and white cotton bra. I nearly rip my shirt off to get my skin against hers, wanting my naked chest against her breasts.
She lies back, and I sit up on my knees to look down on her. Her pale skin is unmarked, almost like porcelain. Her breasts are full, with nipples the color of her blushing cheeks. They’re tight, and quiver as she takes in a shaky breath.