I felt like I was about to have a full-blown meltdown. Panic was creeping up my body, worming its way into my chest. I had to remind myself to breathe in and out, to not let my guilt get the best of me. The fact that he wanted to talk to both of us didn’t have to mean the worst. It didn’t mean he knew.
It didn’t, it couldn’t.
I had to find Esteban right away, but I had to wait until Javier and Diego were gone, so I practically forced myself to shower and spend time getting ready before I went out to look for him.
I didn’t have to look far. Esteban was on the porch, staring off into the distance, a cup of coffee in his hand. It was a lovely beautiful morning, the sky saturated blue and stretching as far as the eye could see. There wasn’t a single cloud.
It’s too bad I couldn’t take the time to fully appreciate it.
“Esteban,” I said warily as I walked across the porch to him. He didn’t turn to look at me. He was probably mad about me standing him up last night.
I stood beside him, watching his gaze. That favorite horse of mine was in the distance. Esteban seemed so focused on him, and not in a good way.
“Where were you last night?” he asked me, voice hard. He still wouldn’t look at me.
“Sorry about that,” I said.
“But where were you?”
I hesitated. “With Javier.”
He nodded. “I see. In what way were you with him?”
“Esteban, I think he knows,” I said, skirting the issue.
Finally he looked at me, and his eyes were smoldering with hate. “What did you do?”
My chin jerked back, surprised that he would blame me so fast. “I didn’t do anything!” His look intensified. I shook my head. “I swear to god, I didn’t do anything or say anything.”
“Then why do you think he knows?”
“He asked if the both of us would come to his room tonight. At nine. That there was something he needed to ask us.”
He stared at me for a moment. “Did you fuck him last night?”
“Esteban,” I warned, stepping away from him. “That’s none of your business.”
“You’re wrong,” he sniped, and reached out to grab the back of my neck, his fingers squeezing the skin as he yanked me to him. “Everything you do is my business now. You’re not his anymore, you got that? You’re mine. And there’s nothing you can do to change it. It’s happening.”
What was happening? I wanted to ask, but he squeezed my neck harder and I winced from the pain.
“Hey,” I heard Borrero say as he stepped out from the kitchen to the porch. “What’s going on here?”
Esteban immediately let go of my neck, and my hand flew back there to press on the pain. “Nothing you should worry your pretty little head about,” Esteban said to Borrero.
Borrero glared at him and walked over to me. “You all right, Luisa?” he asked as Esteban stomped off the porch and headed toward the barn.
I nodded, trying to catch my breath. “I guess I said the wrong thing.”
Borrero watched me curiously for a moment before his eyes drifted off to Esteban in the distance. “You know I’m supposed to keep you safe. If Javier had seen what I had just seen …”
Javier would have probably chopped Esteban’s arm off.
“I know,” I told him, trying to smile. “It’s fine.”
“I’ll be watching you, you know,” he said, and now I couldn’t figure out if it was for my own protection or because Javier might have told him about his own suspicions.
“I’ll be staying out of trouble, don’t worry,” I said to the sicario before heading back inside the house.
***
I stayed out of trouble by staying near Evelyn the entire day and helping her with her chores. The more we talked, the more I realized that she was far smarter than I had initially thought, and we had a lot in common. We both had to hide behind a mask. I wore a beauty queen one and she wore one of an old maid, but we both were so much more than we appeared to be.
Evelyn told me that the ranch had been used a lot recently for the sole purpose of training. While I knew that Javier was trying to set up his own army to battle against those crazy Zetas, I didn’t realize so many of the camps took place here. It was good to know that we were improving the army we already had, the ones who could battle it out against the Gulf Cartel and whomever else declared us their enemy.
Speaking of enemies, the only time I was away from Evelyn was when I was with Evaristo in the basement. He looked only marginally better than he did yesterday and he wasn’t as talkative, but he still watched me with almost reverence as I applied the ointments and fed him his pills.
It was around eight o’clock when Diego and Javier returned home from wherever they had gone. They quickly corralled Morales and went walking around the property as the sun was dying in the west. I guessed they were discussing whatever it was they had learned that day, the next steps in the plan to get Hernandez.
When it was close to nine, I quickly finished the wine I was having with Evelyn — I’d had more than I meant to, my nerves getting the best of me — and headed to Javier’s room, hoping to find Esteban.
I didn’t. It was empty. I wondered if I should go looking for him or if Javier would.
But before I could answer that question, Javier walked through the door, Esteban in tow.
“Please sit down. Both of you,” Javier said, gesturing to the bed with an open palm. His tone was light and I started to have some hope that he wasn’t about to kill us.