His voice was so soft… so full of contentment… replete with peace, that a wave of arctic coldness rushed through me and I put my mental walls up immediately. I pulled out of his embrace, mumbled about needing to use the bathroom, and then paced back and forth across the floor while I repeated to myself, Stay away from him, Casey. He’s dangerous.
So I cut him off at the knees. I was cruel, aloof, and I told him I was done with him, even as my heart screamed at me that I was the most stupid bitch ever to walk the face of the earth.
I left his hotel and sat down on the curb, trying to compose myself before I called Gabby. I hadn’t called her like I had told him, but rather told that lie so I wouldn’t have to ride on his bike back to my Jeep. I knew if I touched him again, I’d give in. I’d relent to his magnetic pull.
And for the first time since I was eighteen, I sat on that curb and I let tears caused by a man fall from my eyes. I went ahead and let myself mourn for something that I knew I wanted but was too afraid to take. I let it out and when my tears dried, I reminded myself that it was better this way. That this tiny bit of longing and hurt would serve as a reminder of why it could never go any further. I reminded myself that I did what I did for protection. I did it to keep my heart safe.
And so, I plugged along, day after day, continually thinking of my time with Tenn but refusing to let myself wonder what could have been if I had stuck around. I put my friends off, missing out on my weekly Monday breakfast meeting with my girls, Gabby, Alyssa, Savannah and Andrea, claiming a nonexistent sinus infection had kept me in bed. I declined a dinner invitation from Brody one night and then another dinner invitation over to my parents the following night.
I wanted to be left alone.
Alone is what I did best.
“Got big plans tonight?” Kent says from behind me, and I turn to see him stepping behind the bar.
I give a slight shake to my head and offer up a tiny smile. “A frozen pizza and a Monk marathon sound big?”
“Sounds interesting,” he conceded, and then walked up to the register to begin his nightly ritual.
I turn, grab a rag from the bar, and bend over the sink to wash it out. A generous wiping down of the wooden bar top and I can head home.
“We need a few beers, Casey,” I hear from directly on the other side of the bar, and my shoulders tense over that rich, rumbling sound that I know comes from one sexy-as-sin biker.
My head slowly lifts up and Tenn stands there, a genial smile on his face. Immediate warmth floods through me, relief that he’s still around, and happiness that he’s standing here in front of me, and then comes lust and desire as I look at his pale blue eyes staring at me in interest.
“What do you want?” I ask with a wink, hoping he catches my double entendre, and just that easy, I’ve thrown out every bit of resolve and common sense where Tenn is concerned.
“Let me see,” he says, and then my stomach drops as he turns slightly away from me to reveal a pretty woman standing there with curly, brown hair and large, almond-shaped eyes of the same color. His hand reaches out and touches her shoulder, causing her to turn her head to him. “What do you want to drink, Mallory?”
Stupid fucking name… Mallory.
“A white wine spritzer,” she says, and then looks to the woman behind her. “Want the same, Jenny?”
The other woman, who is pretty in a haunted goth sort of way with straight, black hair that comes to her shoulders and several facial piercings, nods.
Kyle steps up beside Tenn and my head turns to him in surprise, and a bit of relief that Tenn isn’t here with two women. “We’ll take two Buds and two white wine spritzers,” he says as he reaches into his wallet. Then he inclines his head toward Tenn and says in a low voice, “And what the fuck is a white wine spritzer?”
Tenn doesn’t answer Kyle but turns his gaze to me, and if I’m not mistaken, looks at me expectantly. As if he wants a reaction from me.
“On a double date?” I ask, and then internally wince as I realize how catty my voice sounds.
He smiles big at me, his eyes crinkling with tiny laugh lines at the corner. His lips curve up in a smirk, and he says, “Yeah… something like that.”
“Well, you’ll have to wait until Kent changes out the register,” I say as I jerk my thumb back over my shoulder. “I’ll bring your drinks to you.”
“Thanks,” Tenn says as Kyle throws a twenty on the bar. By the time I snatch it up, he’s already turned away, his hand on Mallory’s back as he guides her over to one of the empty pool tables. He leans down to say something to her, and I hear her giggle over the music of the jukebox.
Stupid fucking name—Mallory.
In a huff, I turn around and grab two wine glasses from the back bar, proceeding to make the white wine spritzers. I’m proud of myself when I resist the urge to spit in the glasses. I then fish out two Budweisers and as I twist the caps off, my eyes slide over to the pool table. Tenn is bent over it, taking a shot, his tattooed arms flexing and reminding me of the power he holds. Mallory—stupid fucking name—has her hip resting against the corner of the table, and she says something to him that causes those sexy-as-hell lips to lift sexily before breaking out into a full-out laugh.
Ugh. She can’t be making him laugh.
I quickly place the drinks on a tray and hand Kent the twenty. “Two Buds, two white wines spritzers.”
“What the hell is a white wine spritzer?” he asks as he takes the twenty from me.