He wasn’t crying. His face was a block of stone. Eve had about two million questions, but it seemed wrong to intrude. He was so private. He would regret every word he said later, and she couldn’t stand the thought of anything humbling him. She laid the envelope down and moved to her feet.
“I’m going to hug you now.”
Ian’s eyes came open and a wary look crossed his face, as though she’d just warned him something terrible was about to happen. “Why?”
“Because you need it, Sir, and you can’t accept it from one of the other subs because they all want something from you. I only want something for you.”
“Everyone wants something, Eve.”
She made the bold play. She sat in his lap and put her arms around his neck. He was the brother she’d never had, and she couldn’t leave him sitting here like this. “I want you to be happy. And I think I finally want to be happy, too. You’re right. I’ve been a zombie for years, and I need to start living again. And you need to figure out what you want.”
His voice was a low rumble. “I want to tear Eli Nelson’s balls off and shove them down his throat and then, when he’s gagging on his own testicles, I want to hang him with his large intestine.”
Well, at least he had a goal. “Can I do anything for you?”
He was silent for a moment, and then his voice was deeply weary. “You can sit with me. Do you know how long it’s been since someone just sat with me? Since someone touched me and didn’t want a damn thing except to make me feel better? It’s been five years. Not since she died.”
She let her head rest against his broad shoulder, taking comfort from the closeness. There didn’t have to be anything sexual about it. “It’s been five years since I let Alex kiss me. I miss him, Ian.”
“And I miss Charlie. And if you ask me when I’m sober, I’ll pretend she doesn’t exist. I’ll pretend I never married her. I’ll pretend I didn’t hold her dead body in my arms.”
She felt tears fill her eyes for the second time that day. Something seemed to have opened up. “I am so sorry, Ian.”
His hand drifted to her cheek, and he swiped at a tear with his thumb. He held it up and stared at it. “Eve, you’re crying. You never cry unless it’s a scene.”
She pulled back and looked at him. “Yeah, well, apparently now that I’m walking wounded instead of zombie girl, I can cry again. Just a little.”
His lips curved up, and he was so beautiful when he smiled. “There’s my Eve.”
The music stopped entirely, the whole place going dead quiet in an instant. Then a cold voice spoke. “Your Eve? Is there something I don’t know about?”
She damn near jumped out of Ian’s lap at the sound of Alex’s voice, but she stopped herself because she hadn’t done anything wrong. It was her place as a submissive to offer kindness. Hell, it was her place as Ian’s friend to offer him comfort. How many times had she caught Alex snuggling with some sub whose Dom had left her or who’d had a bad day? They were touchy-feely people, but the way he was looking at her now made her want to cringe.
“I think you should move now.” Ian’s hands were held up and away as though showing Alex he wasn’t trying anything funny.
Eve moved off his lap, turning to face her ex. “Calm down, Alex.”
“Why don’t you two run along and fight this out in private. I have things to do.” Ian poured himself another Scotch. “And someone better turn my fucking music back on.”
“I’d like an explanation.” Alex practically growled the words. “I was told there was trouble at the club and I walk in and the only trouble I see is that you two didn’t get a room. There are privacy rooms in the back, though I do know that Ian doesn’t mind fucking in public.”
Ian stood, his big body still moving with grace despite drinking the majority of a bottle of Scotch. “You know I don’t, buddy. And you and Eve like to keep things private. Maybe then no one will see that you’re just like the rest of us when it comes to sex. It’s just a bodily fucking function, huh?”
“Is that what’s going on here? Are you scratching my wife’s itch?”
God, he was so gorgeous, but he could act like such an idiot when he got jealous. “Yes, Alex. After more than ten years of friendship, Ian and I have decided to become lovers. I couldn’t resist him. He’s so tender.”
Ian’s hand shot up in the air, his middle finger extended.
Eve stalked toward Alex, her voice a harsh whisper because Ian needed something more than Alex’s caveman act. “He’s upset and I bet you know the reason why. Does this date have a particular meaning? Is there a reason Eli Nelson would send him an anniversary card?”
The way Alex’s face paled told her everything she needed to know. He knew about Ian’s marriage. He knew that she’d died. “Yeah. I know what today is. I got a call and I forgot. I usually make sure he’s not alone today. I remembered the minute I walked in here and heard that fucking song, but then you were sitting in his lap. Damn it.” He turned around, yelling out. “Simon, get that music back on.”
Guns N’ Roses started wailing again, and Ian sighed and settled back down.
“We need to tell Ryan that the club is closed tonight. He’ll know who to call. Damn it. I have to work tonight.”
“I’ll baby-sit.” Liam put a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “This about his wife?”
Alex nodded. “This is the day she died. He goes a little crazy once a year. I’ve been handling it. We usually go out to his place and get trashed and keep it out of the public eye, but I was involved in a case.”
Liam knew. Everyone knew but her. It hurt a little, but Ian was so private, she couldn’t hold it against the men for keeping his confidence.
Liam sent her a tight smile of encouragement. He knew what she was planning to do tonight. “I think you have something more to handle tonight, mate. Go and talk to Evie. I’ll make sure he gets home in one piece. If you like me at all, take the Brit with you. Please.”
Alex frowned. “I don’t know. All right. Just watch out for him. I really do have something I need to get done. Call me if you need me. And have Simon drive Ian’s car back to the office. You’ll have to take him home with you tonight. Eve, do you need a ride home?”