Adam’s face turned mulishly stubborn. “I don’t think there’s all that much to explain.”
“I think there is,” Serena shot back. “You put me in this position. You’re the one who talked endlessly about how you and Jake are trying to find one woman to share. You knew how I would feel about that. Were you lying? Were you just playing up to my fantasies? Did you find out I wrote about ménage and decide it was a way to control me?”
Adam’s brows came together. “No. That’s ridiculous, Serena. It’s the truth. Jake and I have shared women for years. We really are looking for something permanent.”
Serena’s foot tapped against the floor. It was something she seemed to do when she got impatient. “Then why the big dramatic moment? Did you not expect me to sleep with Jacob? Does a ménage work differently in your world?”
Adam was beginning to look a little cornered. “Jacob and I agreed that we would work together.”
“Fine. We screwed up. I wasn’t given a schedule. You’re good at that, Adam. Why don’t you shoot me off a schedule of who I’m supposed to screw and when and in what position? That way I’ll know.” She turned on her heels and started to walk off. “I’m going home now. You two can hash this out. I can see plainly it has nothing to do with me.”
Adam stared after her. “What the fuck just happened?”
Jake smiled. “I think the sub just took you down.” He looked at his partner. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it felt right to be with her. I wasn’t trying to cut you out. She wouldn’t let me. I was in Dom space. That doesn’t mean I was tossing out ten years of friendship. But you seem really fast to. I have to change. Follow her. Whatever you plan to do about this, try to remember she’s still in danger.”
He turned and jogged for the locker room. He had a feeling Serena might take a cab if he didn’t hurry.
* * * *
Adam watched Jake head off. How had he fucked things up so completely? He’d been happy when he’d found out they were in a privacy room. He’d taken the extra key from Glen and expected that he would walk in on a hot BDSM scene. He hadn’t expected the tenderness he’d found.
Serena had been wrapped around Jake so perfectly that he’d just known there wasn’t a place for him. The way she’d moaned Jake’s name and promised that she was Jake’s and Jake’s alone had cut through him, slicing him to the bone. He’d been the one to recognize her. He’d been the one to try to get them all together. He should have been the one she’d clung to as he’d made her come. His gut had curled with jealousy.
And he’d made an ass of himself. Now Serena was walking away, and he had to stop her. He wasn’t sure what the hell he was planning on saying, but he knew he’d better say it fast or she might try walking home. He took off for the front lobby.
She stood there, staring out into the dark parking lot. Her shoulders were hunched as though she was already drawing into herself. He’d done that to her. Jake was right about that. She’d been happy in the privacy room. She’d been passionate and uninhibited. Now she was busy putting up walls again.
He decided to start with the obvious. “Thank god. I was afraid you would leave.”
She didn’t look at him, simply continued to gaze through the windows. The street was dark, only a sliver of moonlight illuminating the world outside. “I’m not an idiot, Adam. I know that would be dangerous. I was just waiting for Jacob. The doors are locked and there’s security. I’m safe enough standing here. I’m not going to throw myself out into the night just to prove a point.”
She was standing right there, but she’d never been more distant. He’d put that remote look on her face. If he let her, she’d retreat completely. She had a whole world in her head. He’d watched her go inside, and he’d had to draw her out. If he played his cards wrong, she might stay there.
“Serena, I’m sorry about that scene.” The words sounded dumb coming out of his mouth. He was smooth, damn it. He always knew what to say, but now the words wouldn’t come.
She sighed, her mouth turning down. “I’m not. It’s better to know now.”
“Know what?” He wanted to reach out, but he doubted she would accept affection from him.
“That it wouldn’t work. It’s just a fantasy, Adam. It wouldn’t work because people don’t function like that.”
“Why the hell would you say that?”
She laughed a little, but there was no humor in it. “Empirical data, as my ex would say. The first time I get really close to Jacob, you flip out. I would always be in the middle, wouldn’t I? I would always be worried that I was paying too much attention to one and not enough to the other. It sounds like a dream, but I’m now realizing what a nightmare it could be.”
He leaned against the window, trying to force her to look him in the eyes. “You were right the first time, Serena. I screwed this up because I’m just as insecure as the rest of the world. I heard you talking to Jake, and I suddenly wondered what the hell I can offer you.”
“What are you talking about?”
She’d been so honest with him. It was time he paid her back. If this was going to work, she would have to know a few things about him. “I don’t know what I can offer you. I worry that if you fall for Jake, you won’t have any use for me.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Adam.”
How little she knew. “Now I’m going on empirical data. It does work like that. I should know because the minute I proved to be a nuisance, I lost my family. I was never quite enough for my father, you see. I wasn’t as strong as my oldest brother or as smart as my younger brother. And then I was useless. Serena, I don’t have a family any more. My father and my brothers no longer speak to me.”
She finally turned to him, concern written all over her face. She really needed a keeper. “Why?”
“Because I was given a general discharge from the Army. Do you understand what that means?”
“It means they found some reason to force you out, but you didn’t do anything criminal. Who did you sleep with that you shouldn’t have?”
“A woman who one of the commanding officers was crazy about. She was also a couple of ranks up from us. Me and Jake were Special Forces, but she was intelligence. She was more important, and she knew it. We were sleeping with her, but when we got caught, the charges were that we were sleeping with each other. Back then, don’t ask, don’t tell meant don’t get caught.”