“Tally, can’t you tell me why you’ve been upset with me?” Terrie asked her, suddenly changing the subject, surprising her with the question. “We’ve been friends for so long. I hate having this between us.”
Friendships equaled complications, especially when they were as close as she and Terrie were.
She took a deep breath and turned back to look at her friend. “I’m not upset with you,” she said in resignation. “I’m upset with myself.”
Rising from the bed, Tally glanced at Terrie’s questioning expression before pacing to the high window beside it.
“I came into the office the evening you were there with Jesse and Lucian,” Tally finally said, a wry smile tipping her lips. “I was horribly jealous, you know.”
“Jealous?” Terrie turned back to her at the incredulous question. “Why?”
“Because you were with Lucian,” she said softly, seeing the moment that Terrie realized exactly what she meant.
Terrie blinked in surprise. “You wanted Lucian?”
Tally grimaced lightly at her own admission. “Terribly, I’m afraid,” she said. “But the problem is, Terrie, I know that once I’ve been with him and Devril, I won’t want to let either of them go. I’m a greedy person, I’ve told you this before. They can hurt me,” she said simply.
“Oh. Dear.” Terrie was staring at her in amazement. “Uhh, Tally, are you in love with Lucian and Devril?”
Tally moved to the chair beside the window and sat down heavily. “Perhaps.” She shrugged. “So you see, it’s becoming rather complicated.”
“Pretty surprising to me,” Terrie admitted as she pulled one of the plump pillows from the head of the bed and wrapped her arms around it. “What are you going to do?”
Tally smoothed the skirt of her dress slowly, watching as her fingers adjusted the hemline as though being certain she did it right. When she finally raised her gaze to Terrie she had managed to get a handle on her emotions.
“I have several applications in at a firm in New York,” Tally finally admitted. “If things work out, I’ll be leaving soon.”
“You’re running?” Terrie asked incredulously. “Tally, you never run.”
Tally leaned back in her chair, assuming a careless pose of negligent indulgence. “Well, it appears I do after all,” she finally said with a self-deprecating smile. “A very odd feeling, I must admit. But, I’ve found no other answer.”
Terrie shook her head in protest. “Why fight them? If you want it, why not go for it? Holding back doesn’t sound like something you do, Tally.”
Normally, it wouldn’t be, Tally admitted silently. She had never conceded defeat in her life. It rankled that she would now.
“In this case, holding back is the only answer,” Tally said softly. “Trust me, Terrie, it would never work, and I don’t want the heartache when it doesn’t. It’s best that I leave as soon as possible.” Better for her heart definitely. As well as Lucian’s safety, if he ever decided he was tired of her. She feared she might kill him if he took another woman after her.
Terrie watched her closely for long minutes as the silence deepened around them.
“I love how you lie to yourself, Tally,” she finally said gently, rising from the bed as Tally watched her in surprise.
“I never lie to myself,” she snapped in defense.
Terrie shook her head slowly. “I love you like I love my own sisters.” She sighed. “So I can tell you, you are lying to yourself. It’s losing all that hard won control that you’re terrified of, not any heartache you might suffer. Lucian threatens that. You can’t push him away, you can’t intimidate him, so instead you’re going to run.” She grimaced mockingly. “Lucian won by default because you’re not brave enough to see which of you is the strongest. You’re afraid you’ll lose, so you’re giving up.”
“I don’t think so,” Tally snapped, uncomfortably aware of the fact that often her friend saw too much. “Lucian has nothing to do with my control.”
“Of course he does.” Terrie laughed gaily. “He shakes it every time he looks at you. And don’t even try to tell me he didn’t almost have you out in the garden. I heard those moans. You’re losing your edge, Tally, and you can’t handle it.”
Tally came to her feet slowly, her eyes narrowing on the other woman. “Not in this lifetime.” She managed cool humor but she could feel the anger whipping in her mind.
“Really?” Terrie crossed her arms over her br**sts, her expression mocking. “Prove it.”
“Prove it?” Tally felt like snarling. “And how do you expect me to do that? There’s nothing to prove.”
“Isn’t there, Tally?” Terrie was serious now. That was always a bad sign. “What about proving to yourself that you’re worthy of love? But beyond that, there’s proving that you aren’t a coward. We both know how much you hate cowards.”
Tally snarled. “That’s playing dirty, Terrie.”
“Yeah.” Terrie grinned widely. “I do things like that when I see my friends tucking their tails between their legs and scampering off like puppies. Especially when they refused to let me do the same. Trust me, you’ll thank me.”
“I’ll kill you,” Tally snapped. “Right after I kill Lucian and Devril.”
Terrie shrugged. “Whatever works for you, darlin’. Now I’ll say good night so you can plot and plan. You’re so good at managing the rest of us, Tally, let’s see if you can manage Lucian as easily.”
Chapter Eight
Terrie had outmaneuvered her. Somehow, somewhere, she had managed to blindside her and at the same time, ensure her downfall. It wasn’t so much the challenge, though Tally thrived on a good, honest challenge; it was more the object of the challenge. Could she bring Lucian and Devril to their knees?
She had been so concerned with protecting her heart, her emotions, that she hadn’t truly considered attempting to win theirs. Could it be done? They were strong, dominating men, alphas in the truest sense of the word, so it wouldn’t be easy. But, perhaps it could be done. The very thought of success was enough to get her blood pumping, her excitement level rising.