Janey grabbed her beer, but she wasn’t so sure about this.
“Do I look like a hag?” she asked the bartender as Rogue dragged her away.
“Naw, you look sweet.” He grinned. “Sweet don’t do well in here, sugar.”
Great. Now she looked sweet.
“What does he mean by that?” she asked as Rogue dragged her behind the bar and through the Employees Only-marked door.
“He means you look like a fresh-faced virgin.” Rogue laughed. “Virgins scare men, Janey. Big boys get all kinds of messed up when it comes to a virgin. So we’re going to liven you up some.”
“That’s a scary thought.” She sighed as Rogue dragged her up the stairs. “Liven me up?”
She didn’t want to look like a virgin. She didn’t want to act like a virgin. She wanted to have fun. To just be Janey. To let free all the bold, vibrant dreams she had held trapped inside her so long.
“Make sure you have fun?” Rogue threw her a laughing glance as they entered the small apartment upstairs. “Come on in. I think we even have some decent clothes.”
Janey looked down at her jeans and blouse. “What’s wrong with my clothes?” she exclaimed.
Rogue turned back, pursed her lips, and narrowed her eyes. “Janey, haven’t you ever wanted to be just a woman?” Rogue asked softly. “Not Natches’s sister, or Dayle Mackay’s daughter.” She grinned. “Or Alex Jansen’s responsibility?”
Janey stared back at Rogue suspiciously. “What do you mean by that?”
“Deny Alex is babysitting you right now,” she dared Janey. “Now, I doubt many people know about it.
But I just happen”—she looked her nails smugly—“to be a little smarter than most people. Besides, I overheard a little comment Natches made to Dawg last week while I was out on the docks at a friend’s boat. Something about murder, babysitters, Janey, and Alex. I’m good at the whole two-and-two-equals-four thing.”
Janey hesitated.
Rogue smiled back at her. “I’m not asking questions. But a hundred bucks says we have three Mackays and one Jansen that walks in the bar tonight. Now tell me. What do you want them to see? A little girl waiting to be collected? Or a grown woman taking her life back?”
She craved to take her life back. Or rather, to have the life she always dreamed of having. One where she made her own choices, decided her own destiny.
Janey frowned back at her. “I’m not a little girl, Rogue.”
“No, you’re not.” Rogue’s expression hardened a bit. “But that’s how they see you, isn’t it?”
“How do you figure that?”
Rogue crossed her arms over the snug leather vest she wore in lieu of a blouse or shirt. “I know Alex, Janey. And I now his habits. He comes in wounded, finds himself a little plaything, and has hot and heavy fun while he’s home before he ships out again. Sometimes he finds a few women to play with. He’s as hard and sexual as any Mackay male. And no”—she grinned—“I haven’t f**ked him. But what I know is that this time no one else has either. And I know he’s been staying in that apartment of yours with you, babysitting .” She rolled her eyes. “Since when are you a baby, honey?”
Janey’s lips thinned. “What’s in this for you, Rogue?” She wasn’t the trusting sort, no matter how much of a baby people wanted to think she was.
Rogue’s expression turned bitter for the slightest second before it smoothed out. “Because I’ve been where you are.” She turned and moved to the closet on the far side of the room. “I was sweet and innocent and thought everyone was a potential friend.” Long red gold curls moved across her back as she shook her head. “Someone taught me better.”
She pulled several hangers from the closet and turned back to her.
“Try these on.” She tossed the clothes to the bed. “You have a few more curves than I do. They’re loose on me, so they should fit. Daddy didn’t check for the correct sizes when he bought them.”
Janey tentatively touched the short leather skirt and brilliant red camisole. “Your daddy?” She looked at Rogue in shock.
“I do have a daddy.” Rogue laughed. “I wasn’t hatched, Janey.”
“But he bought these?” She held up the silky stretch camisole. It would be snug. Scandalous.
“He knows what I like.” Rogue shrugged. “Get dressed. I have stockings here somewhere. And I know I have heels. Let me find them.”
Rogue spoke fondly of her “daddy.” How odd would that be, Janey thought. To have a father who bought pretty clothes, provided affection and support. Whatever shadows lingered in Rogue’s eyes, they weren’t because her father didn’t love her. Janey knew from the few conversations she and Rogue had had that the other woman treasured her father.
As far as Janey was concerned, she herself hadn’t had a father. Or a mother really. She may as well have been hatched.
She stared at Rogue as the other woman moved into the closet, mumbling about her own clumsy habits.
Janey looked at the clothes again. The leather skirt was very short. To-her-thighs short at least. It would flash stockings. There would be no way to wear a bra with that top. Could she do it?
She had dreamed of wearing clothes like this. Of being confident, feminine. A female force to be reckoned with.
And Rogue was right. Before the night was out, her brother, her cousins, and one irate babysitter would
enter that bar. Did she want to look like a child or a woman? Did she want to be herself, or the responsibility everyone else saw when they looked at her?
Hell no. For once, for one night, she was going to let all that wild freedom, all that need inside her, free. If Alex was going to come looking for her, then she’d make damned sure he found the real her this time.
“Do you have red heels?” Janey called out to Rogue.
Rogue popped her head out the closet, her eyes twinkling. “Honey, I have three different shades of red.
But I thought you’d go for black.”
Janey shook her head. “If I’m gonna be bad, Rogue, let’s go all the way.”
Rogue’s eyes twinkled. “Now you’re talking. And you’ve come to the perfect source, sweetie. Rogue knows exactly how to be bad.” She winked, turned back into the closet, and, a second later, emerged with red shoes to match the top.