His hands stilled. Forever. God, he wanted that so much, could see himself with Teresa for the rest of his life. She was everything he’d ever wanted.
But that was him being selfish, wanting what was best for him—Teresa by his side. What about what was best for her? He’d just gotten hooked up with the south side crew stealing and chopping cars. He’d been lucky to get the gig. Great money, and soon enough he’d be out of his stepfather’s reach. He could get his own place—a place for him and Teresa.
Yeah. She could live with a criminal. Great life for her. And what would her brother Joey—his best friend—say about that? Joey would kick his ass if he knew. And AJ would deserve it.
What did he really have to offer her? He could take her virginity, and then what? Invite her to shack up with a high school dropout who stole cars for a living? He was almost nineteen and going nowhere fast except down the road to hell.
He wouldn’t take Teresa with him.
He smoothed her skirt down and lifted her off his lap, breathing in and out, slow and easy, trying to calm the hunger that pounded through his blood.
Teresa laid her hand on his arm. “AJ, what’s wrong? Why did you stop?”
“Pull your clothes together, Teresa.” He couldn’t even look at her, at the ripe ni**les showing through her bra, at her slim legs and thighs peeking out from under her short skirt. He only had so much self-control and he was no goddamned saint.
She adjusted her clothes and shimmied over to the other side of the seat, staring out the window.
He’d hurt her. That couldn’t be helped.
“I’m sorry for whatever I did, AJ.”
Her voice trembled. He glanced at her reflection in the side window and saw tears shimmering in her eyes.
Ah, shit.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Teresa. I did.”
She shifted her glance to him, forcing him to see the pain and confusion on her face. He’d put it there. He was the worst kind of ass**le imaginable.
“I shouldn’t have started this tonight, shouldn’t have brought you here.”
Her fingers drifted up to skim across the necklace he’d gotten her. “Why not?”
“Because this can’t work between us. Not anymore. I have . . . places to go and you can’t go with me.” He put the truck in gear and peeled out, heading back into town.
“I don’t understand, AJ.”
Her voice was the barest whisper, as if it took every ounce of energy in her body to speak. He’d crushed her. It was going to get worse before the night was over, because he was walking away from her. He was no good for her and he should have realized it before tonight. He wouldn’t do this to her. Better to hurt her now than later. He knew what he wanted and where he wanted to go, and no way was he dragging her down with him. His freedom from his family meant sacrifice, and that sacrifice had to be Teresa.
Someday she’d understand and appreciate that he’d let her go.
It had started to cloud over. A storm was coming. He pressed down on the accelerator, hoping he could get Teresa back home before the shit hit the fan.
Losing her was going to kill him.
“Where?”
His gaze drifted to hers. Silvery tears slid down her cheeks. His stomach hurt. “Where what?”
“You said you had places to go that I couldn’t go with you. What places?”
He inhaled and let it out, hurting so bad he thought he might be sick. But he was right to do this. He loved her.
“Dark places, Teresa. Really dark places. Places I have to go to alone.”
ONE
PRESENT DAY
“WE COULD ,BE WINDING THROUGH THE SMOKY MOUNTAINS BY now instead of sweating our asses off at a truck stop in the middle of nowherefuckingville, Missouri.”
AJ arched a brow at his best friend, Pax. “This is my hometown you’re insulting.”
Pax shrugged. “It’s still in the middle of f**king nowhere. And it’s August. And it’s goddamn hot here.”
AJ laughed. “Quit whining. We were headed this direction anyway, and I thought we’d stop by and see a few people.”
Pax sat on his Harley and took a swig of water, slanting AJ a dubious look. “And where did this sudden pang of homesickness come from? You’re about as dedicated to home as I am. Your parents don’t even live here anymore, do they?”
“No.” Thankfully. AJ could maybe tolerate his mother. Maybe. But he’d mostly given up on her after she married Dale, the man who thought AJ wasn’t good enough—for anything. And AJ had spent six years of his life proving Dale right. “My parents moved to New York to be near his family. But some of my friends might still be here.”
“You had friends?” Pax arched a brow.
“Smart ass. Yeah, I had a few. A long time ago.” People who cared about him no matter what, people he could count on. Like Joey. And Joey’s sister, Teresa.
Though Teresa had been much more than a friend. But that wasn’t what had brought him back here. It had been ten years since he left. By now, Teresa was probably married and had three kids or something. She’d gotten over him. It wasn’t like she’d pine away for him or anything.
But he’d like to see Joey again. He and Joey used to be tight, had shared a lot of secrets—and a lot of trouble. They were close friends, kind of like AJ and Pax were now. AJ had never thought he’d make friends as an adult, had thought himself a badass loner who didn’t need anyone. It had surprised the hell out of him when he and Pax clicked when they joined the Wild Riders. But they’d both had major chips on their shoulders, and maybe they both had been licking teenage wounds, too. Close enough in age, they gravitated toward each other and formed a bond that ten years later hadn’t yet been broken.
They did everything together, even took off and vacationed together.
A vacation that had been a long time coming, and for AJ, vacation meant climbing on his Harley and riding. He had two weeks to do whatever the hell he wanted.
They’d taken off from Dallas—Wild Rider headquarters—after filing the paperwork on their last case with General Grange Lee, the man they reported to, the one who’d plucked all the Wild Riders from the dregs of their lives as troubled teens and turned them into decent human beings. If it hadn’t been for General Lee, AJ would probably be pacing the confines of a prison cell at twenty-nine instead of living the free life and riding his bike. He had a lot to be grateful for. Grange had taken a half dozen raw, angry, messed up teenage criminals and turned them into capable undercover agents who could slip into any street situation and get the job done. The Wild Riders blended well as a team, which was surprising considering their less than stellar backgrounds.