Fuck. This was bad. Really bad.
And maybe she really didn’t love him. She was just leaning on him because of everything that had gone down with Lacey. Her best friend had just been shit on by the man she loved. Wouldn’t it be natural for Ava to see—to want—a different outcome for herself?
That was probably it. She didn’t want to be screwed over by a guy like Lacey had. She wasn’t really in love with him. She just didn’t want to get dumped.
Ava laughed and grabbed his hand. “Say something, Rick. I just put my heart in your hands.”
Son of a bitch. His gut twisted because he knew exactly what he had to do.
He pulled his hand away and stood, dragging his fingers through his hair. His heart pounded and his palms began to sweat. Hell, he’d walked away from plenty of women in his lifetime. It had always been easy. Why wasn’t this easy?
“Ava, we had a great time together, no doubt about it. But my life is solitary and I like it that way. I don’t do relationships.”
Her smile died instantly. And a part of him died with it. The hurt in her eyes was palpable. He felt like someone had just stabbed him in the heart with a knife.
“Oh.”
“Look, darlin’. I think you’re beautiful, intelligent, sexy, and I had a great time with you. Let’s just leave it at that.”
She nodded and stood. “Sure. You’re right.” She grabbed his coat from the other sofa and handed it to him, refusing to meet his gaze. “You should probably go. It’s getting late and I have a lot to do tomorrow.”
He felt like an ass**le. He was an ass**le. But if he lingered any longer, he’d pull her into his arms and kiss those tears away that trickled down her cheek. He’d tell her that he was in love with her. He’d tell her who he was. He’d f**k everything up.
He needed to get out of there and fast.
She opened the door and he stepped outside, turned to look at her. “I’ll see you later.”
She raised her gaze to his, her eyes glittering with tears and her lips lifting in a tortured smile that wrecked him. “No, you won’t. Good-bye, Rick.”
THIRTEEN
It took Ava two days before she could leave the house. Two days of crying, of feeling empty inside. Two days of feeling stupid, of feeling just like Lacey must have felt.
She’d fallen in love with Rick, and had been blinded to the reality that he’d felt nothing for her. She’d been fun for sex, and that was all. And when it was time for him to walk away, he’d done it so easily.
Oh sure, he’d appeared to be having a difficult time, his expression pained, his tone one of regret. But he’d still walked and done so without thought of hurting her. And right after she’d declared that she loved him.
How naïve could she be?
Obviously she and her best friend still had more in common than she thought.
She’d called Lacey, who’d gone home to her parents. She said she was resting and trying to get over what Bo had done to her. She was already involved in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation program. Other than that, she had no plans beyond avoiding drugs and alcohol and clearing her head. Ava promised to go see her as soon as Lacey was up to visitors.
And as soon as Ava was up to it, too.
Right now her only intent was to head to campus and start redirecting her focus back on school. It was time to get back to work. Burying herself in her search for a school for her Ph.D. would take her mind off Rick, off ridiculous notions of love and bike riders and living the wild life, which wasn’t her at all.
Her life was clean tabletops, bare walls, and buried emotions. She should have known better.
After showering and packing her laptop, she straightened up her apartment and was just about to grab her purse and head out the door when the doorbell rang. She opened it, shocked to her toes to see her father standing there.
“Dad?”
Her father was still as imposing as ever, filling her doorway with his frowning persona. Even at sixty, with his full, thick head of salt-and-pepper hair, he was still robust as ever. And still as intimidating as he’d always been.
“Ava. May I come in?”
“Of course.” She stepped aside and he moved in, scanning her apartment as if he were looking for something. Or someone.
“Would you like some coffee? I don’t have any made, but it would only take—”
He waved his hand. “No. Not necessary. I just wanted to check on you, to see if you were all right.”
She cocked a brow. “Of course I’m all right. Why?”
“I got the report about your activities with the Hellraisers. Have you finished cavorting with this biker gang now?”
Ava inhaled and sighed, then moved away to sit on the sofa. Her father had always known every move she made, especially since he took public office. It irritated her, but she tried to remain oblivious to his interference. He mostly just kept tabs on her without getting involved. Then again, she usually never did anything for him to get involved with. “And how did you know about that?”
“I’ve known about it for some time now, ever since you started hanging out with Lacey and that undesirable boyfriend of hers. Do you have any idea how that would look for me if you were involved in illegal activities with the Hellraisers?”
How nice of him to look after her welfare. Then again, he was more on the mark than Ava cared to admit. “Well, I’m fine. And I won’t be hanging out with them again.”
“I’m glad to hear that, especially since you barely escaped federal drug charges at the Mexican border. Good God, Ava, what were you thinking?”
The blood in her face drained, leaving her cold. “What did you say?”
“You heard me.”
“How did you know about that? Did Lacey tell you?”
“I don’t speak to Lacey and you know that. I’ve never thought that girl was an appropriate friend for you.”
Ava’s stomach knotted. No one was good enough for Ava according to her father. After all, Lacey’s parents were blue collar. Not the right connections for the great Senator Vargas’s daughter. She tried to love her parents, but their narrow-minded view of the world made it so damn hard.
“So if you didn’t hear it from Lacey, how did you know?”
“Because I’ve had you under surveillance. The Feds put someone undercover to watch you.”
“What? Are you kidding me? When?”