Candy Castle
Middle of Nowhere
It all started right after we left Miami International Airport and had reached our cruising altitude of thirty-two thousand feet.
“Come here, my furbaby.” Vive had taken her Lhaso Apso, Hedda Hopper, out of the carrying bag. She placed the pooch on her lap and did as she always does, gave it a sip of her cocktail, “Here you go, my little Hedda.”
Even though we weren’t yet twenty-one, Vive pretty much had booze on her at all times. Those are the perks of being a Farnworth Firewater liquor heiress. Vive’s family had stated on many occasions that she could legally drink in other countries and time zones why not this one?
Growling, Hedda glared up at the ceiling.
“Look guys! Le Petit Chien doesn’t care for champagne,” Gustave had joked, when the boys turned around to see what was going on.
On the rare occasions Gustave did make eye contact with me, I melted from the inside out—Klondike-bar style.
The dog spun around in circles. Not the playful, fun-loving kind. Oh no. Rather in the demonic way of “there’s a ghost onboard that’s going to eat us.” Hedda’s growls turned to barking. We all glanced up at the ceiling to see what the fuss was over.
I expected a dancing light coming off a mirrored cosmetics compact, or maybe a bug that had crawled out from someone’s luggage. I didn’t notice anything except the ceiling…
Bang!
“Merde,” Fabian shouted.
A two-inch rip.
Vive’s dog sensed this would happen. I didn’t know which I was more freaked out over, Hedda’s psychic ability or the fact that there was a hole in the roof of our plane. Let me say that again, there’s a hole in the effin’ aircraft.
The tear widened to a foot.
“Fuuuck. Did you see that?” Blake shouted as other passengers got out of their seats making their way over.
A foot and a half of blue skies stared back at us. Then two frickin’ feet of sunshine beamed through.
Pandemonium spread on board.
Immediately, our cabin’s pressure decompressed. I couldn’t breathe. Not because we lost air—we did—but because my stomach flipped into my throat.
The seatbelt signs flashed. Oxygen masks fell from above.
Lex grabbed my hand. “I regret taking the Xanax to get over my fear of riding on small planes. I feel like everything is going on in slow motion or if I’m watching it happen to someone else.”
“Well, snap out of it,” I said putting the oxygen mask over her face. “It’s happening right above your seat.”
It’s just like that teen horror movie that came out last year, Final Destination. We started to drop from the sky. Everyone screamed.
The pilot announced, “This is your captain speaking. Due to an unforeseen rip in the ceiling, we are making an emergency landing. Listen carefully to my instructions…”
A pause was followed by what sounded like the turning of a piece of paper. Was he reading from some manual?
He continued, “Under your seat is a life jacket. Go ahead, put it on, fasten your seatbelt, lean forward, and stick your head between your knees. We’ll be landing shortly.” His phone switched off, then back on, and he muttered, “—fucking shit plane. Flight crew, prepare for a water crash. Let’s see if we can take her down in one piece.”
Frozen, we sat still for a second. Clearly, we weren’t supposed to hear that.
“Did he say water landing or water crash?” Vive sobered.
“Crash!” Blake shouted, springing to his feet. He flipped his seat cushion over and grabbed the bright yellow reflective plastic.
Next to me, Lex peed herself. Maybe over the realization we might die. Or it could be from the two Yoo-Hoos she drank before take-off to help wash down the bitter aftertaste of Xanax.
Lately, our lives as the Fab Four had pretty much carried on rather most unfabulously. Take for example the fact that I was broke, probably not going to attend college, sexually frustrated, and let’s not forget this flight to hell.
Gustave jumped over his seat and into our row. Helping Vive and Lex with their life jackets, he lifted Lex up as if she were a paper doll, which I imagine was pretty hard to do considering she’s rather curvy. After he was finished, I made sure their oxygen masks were over their faces.
My ears popped, and the engines made a loud humming noise. That sorta zinged me back a bit. Putting my vest on, I then banded the yellow plastic cup over my nose and mouth and inhaled. With a glance out the window, I noticed we were headed straight for a small island. The sign in the harbor read, “Welcome to Eden.” I blinked, we were that close to land we could read things.
Shit.
Blake’s movie star face pressed up against the yellow plastic and muttered, “Looks like Magic Kingdom.”
There was a castle on the island. In a flash, we soared right over Eden and headed back out to sea.
We buckled up. Blake shouted for everyone to sit. Jumping over the row, Gustave hunkered down. Fabian reached back for a hand, anyone’s—it didn’t matter whose. Tucking Hedda into the top of her dress, Vive grabbed onto Fabian then reached for Lex’s hand with the other. Lex grabbed my right, and I took Blake with my left. He put his hand on Gustave’s shoulder ahead of him, and Leon held on to Fabian.
Our prayer circle had formed.
“Notre Père—” Leon recited something in French, sounding Catholic.
Reflecting off the water, the sun’s rays made everything appear overexposed and translucent. Hues of pink and bright white filled the cabin. The jet seemed to skim above the ocean almost peacefully.
The plane’s heavy swaying straightened into a precise line. There was a moment of beauty where everyone on board must’ve held their breath because I heard only dead silence and Leon.
“Pardonne-nous nos offences.” His prayer got louder.
“This is it. Lean forward,” Fabian told us.
We put our heads between our legs. Fuck, the oxygen masks weren’t long enough. The cords jerked us back.
“Is this seriously happening?” dazed and still frickin’ confused, Lex asked.
The jet bounced, once, twice over the water like a skipping stone. My seat disconnected from the rest of the row. The impact shocked me. Over the sounds of shattering glass and the crunching of metal, I blurted the first thing that came to mind, “I never thought I’d die a virgin.” I’d hoped to be loved by someone special.