“We’ve done all the talking I’m willing to do for now, so you can just scurry on out of here,” she said, tugging against his hold.
“I can never seem to find the right words to say to you,” Shane said. He set her free, but he refused to back too far away.
He had to go soon and didn’t know when he’d get back. But he couldn’t leave with Lia upset with him; his mind wouldn’t be with his team, and he needed to be there with them, not half there and half here with Lia.
“Try goodbye, Shane. I have been a fool to love you so much. How can I love a man who I don’t even know?” she asked, hurt heavy in her voice as she gazed up at him.
“Lia, I was going to tell you all that I could, but there never seemed to be the right time,” he told her, running his hands through his hair in frustration.
Life was so much easier when he didn’t have to think about what he could and couldn’t talk about. He wanted to make a relationship with her work, but how could he when all he was allowed to share with her was a small piece of himself?
“That seems to be something you say to me all the time, Shane. I was going to tell you this or that. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. This is the theme of our relationship. I open my heart to you, trust you, and then you betray me. I can’t keep doing this. You’re just about out the door — heck, out of the country — and there is no way that I’m even close to letting this go. You’re going to have to give me some time, some real time to think about what I want to do. All I know right now is that I feel betrayed, and even worse, I feel that I can’t trust you, that I don’t know you. I thought I did, but then I keep finding out more secrets you’ve kept from me.”
The anguish in her voice ripped through him.
“I don’t know how to make this better,” he said, inching back toward her.
“Don’t touch me, Shane. I mean it. Yes, you can make me melt at your touch, but is that what you really want? Do you want a piece of my body when it will only make me hate you afterward? Because I will despise you for making me want you. I will forever block you out, just like you’ve been blocking me,” she warned him as she retreated.
“Damn it! I don’t know what you want!” His frustration was clear, as was the agony running through him.
“Just go, Shane. Go and give me time. You’ve betrayed me, and that doesn’t disappear in a day or even a week.”
“You didn’t give me a chance to earn your trust,” he said.
“Yes, I did, Shane. We had five days on that island. You shared your past with me. I didn’t turn from you, I didn’t treat you any differently. When we were there, you could have told me everything, trusted me with your life. Then, after we got back, you had ample opportunity to tell me. No. I find out a couple days before you leave. And not only that, I find out that my brother once again knows so much more about you. I understand your not telling me before we were a couple, but it just isn’t OK for you to keep shutting me out now, making me feel less than my own brother. I have loved you for so long that I can’t remember a time I haven’t. You keep proving to me over and over again that you don’t feel the same. It’s crushing,” she said, fighting the closing of her throat as she wrestled to turn off her emotions.
“I will make this up to you. I will prove to you that you can trust me, that I will never keep anything from you again,” he vowed.
“It may be too late, Shane. I just don’t know,” she sighed, feeling more drained than she could ever remember feeling before.
She wanted nothing more than to rush into his arms, but she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t keep letting him hurt her so badly.
Maybe they just weren’t meant to be. As much as she loved him, she couldn’t change him, couldn’t erase the past, and couldn’t undo what had already been done. That meant she might have to let him go forever. He would take a piece of her, but at least if they parted now, there would still be something of herself left to rebuild from. If she stayed with him, she might just fade away.
“I will prove to you that we are meant to be, Lia. I swear to that.”
Shane stepped forward and leaned down, his lips capturing hers in a sweet kiss that made her eyelids droop.
When she opened her eyes again, she was standing alone in the room, longing coursing through her body as a deep loneliness filled her. Was that really it? It was what she wanted, wasn’t it?
As she walked into the quiet hallway in search of Ari, Lia just didn’t know anymore. This was all too much for her to deal with.
Trying to keep her head high, she took a breath before opening the door to the room that held Ari and Rafe. Even if she hadn’t known which one it was, she couldn’t miss her brother’s loud and frustrated voice coming through the thick wood.
At least she didn’t need to explain what had happened with her and Shane. Rafe had to deal with a very missing Rachel. Lia wasn’t worried about her little sister. She was concerned about her, of course, but she saw the light that entered Rachel’s eyes when she spoke of Ian, or Adriane, or Adriano — whatever the heck the man’s name was — so she knew Rachel would be fine. This was just another journey that Rachel seemed destined to take with the man who had caused her to do something so against her cautious nature.
The thought was almost enough to make her smile. Time did heal all wounds, right? She’d soon find out. OK, soon might be the wrong word.
CHAPTER SIX
SOMETIME IN THE late afternoon, the plane landed and an extremely exhausted Rachel was transferred to a vehicle. There was no fight in her as she was tucked in the back seat with Adriane at her side.
Ian, the man she’d grown feelings for, the man who had been so carefree when she’d met him on the beach, was long gone. Now, she was having a child with a king, Adriane, or Adriano of Corythia. She’d wanted to do some living and she certainly had done just that — but not in the way she’d planned.
The medicine the doctor had given her did its magic and she fell asleep again, drifting against Adriane’s chest as he cradled her securely. She could hear Adriane speaking, but his words came to her faint and distorted as she gave in to the medicine and rested.
“Sire, is this a wise choice?”
Adriane turned to Nico, a question in his eyes. His adviser resumed speaking.
“I don’t wish to speak out of turn, but she was raised in America at least half the year, and attended college in an American university. She doesn’t understand our culture or what would be expected of her as our queen. You have a list of potential brides who are supposed to start arriving here — a list that has been approved by the council.”