What she wouldn’t give to share her love with him and have it returned.
Carefully standing back up, she unclasped her bra, her br**sts feeling ripe and sensitive, as did the vee between her legs when she slipped her panties off. No question, the physical release of making love with Sam would be phenomenal. But that was only partially why she wanted to be with him.
Sam was her last tie to hope. To comfort. And faith.
More than anything, she wanted to be naked and warm in his arms, to pretend for a few precious moments that everything was all right.
Finding a bar of soap, she lathered up her hair and skin, realizing as the water washed the remaining dirt away how wonderful it was to be clean again. A simple pleasure, but a pleasure nonetheless.
Knowing Sam should have a turn in the shower before she used up all of the hot water, she switched off the tap and wrapped herself in a large brown towel. Everything on the Farm was surprisingly clean and she acknowledged that she’d been too hasty in condemning the commune in her conversation with April without coming to see it first. No wonder her sister had stormed out of the café.
Moving into the small bedroom, Dianna found dry clothes laid out on the bed. She quickly toweled off and got dressed, then went into the main room, where an array of food was laid out on a small table.
Obviously, Sam had brought everything inside, but where was he?
She was making her way to the front door when he opened it and walked back inside. Also in dry clothes, he looked surprisingly clean.
“Did you use Peter’s shower?”
He ran one hand through his dark, still-wet hair, looking disconcertingly stern before one side of his mouth finally quirked up.
“Rain has its uses.”
“You showered outside?” she asked, shivering just thinking about it.
When he nodded, she envisioned Sam standing naked in the rain and immediately heated up. He held his hands out, and she was so wrapped up in her fantasy of catching him bathing in the rain that it took her a little while to realize he was holding something warm and delicious.
“Peter just came by with this fresh-baked bread and I filled him in on everything.”
She immediately sobered as the day’s horror came back to her. Sitting down hard on one of the dining chairs by the door, her fear for April settled into the pit of her stomach like a rock.
“I don’t know if I can eat anything.”
Ignoring her, Sam put the bread down with the rest of the food, got a couple of plates and utensils from the small kitchenette, and began portioning out the food. Despite her heavy mood, her stomach rumbled.
Suddenly ravenous, she reached for a slice of bread just as Sam was handing it to her and their fingers collided. She shivered again at the touch of his skin.
His brows furrowed with renewed concern. “Cold?”
“No,” she replied. Just the opposite. Despite everything, she was burning up with desire. “Just starved.”
They ate in silence for several minutes until Sam said, “I’m glad you’re eating after all. It’s been a pretty rough couple of days. You need the energy.”
“We both do,” she agreed. “Going after April had been so much harder than I thought it would be. And, honestly, I thought it was going to be pretty damn hard.”
He put down his glass and gave her a stern look. “That’s why tonight is all about getting some rest.”
Immediately going on the defensive, she said, “I’m not tired, Sam, and I want to get back out there looking for her.”
But all he did was shake his head, just as she’d known he would.
“I checked with Peter. This storm isn’t going to let up until morning. The sun’s already on its way down and we’re not going to make any headway in this rain. If anything, I’m afraid you’ll get sick, and then we’ll really be in trouble.”
She pushed back from the table, feeling restless, hating knowing they were stuck for another night.
Also standing up, Sam said, “I know it’s early, but I want you to go to bed, Dianna.”
There was only one bed in the small house. “Where are you going to sleep?”
She held her breath as she waited for his answer.
He jerked his head toward the door. “I’ve got the tent set up on the front deck. I’ll be right outside the door if you need me.”
The rational part of her brain knew he was making sense. But logic wasn’t enough anymore.
“Stay with me tonight, Sam.”
His expression reminded her of the granite rocks in the river. He was trying to protect her, he’d always tried to protect her, but right now she needed him to give in, even if he thought she was making a mistake.
Moving closer, she put her hand on his arm. “I won’t be able to sleep unless you’re holding me. I need you, Sam. Please.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
SAM’S NEED for Dianna was as close to an unstoppable force as he’d ever withstood. But it had been a hard day, and although she thought sex was what she wanted, he had to accept that it was just stress talking.
On top of everything else she was dealing with, he didn’t want her to have to regret making love to him, too.
But how could he force his foot down on the brakes when he was mesmerized by her voice, by her beautifully expressive face, by the longing in her eyes as she moved closer?
“At first,” she said softly, “when we were in the shower together, all I wanted was to try to forget. But now, all I want is to keep believing. For so long, I didn’t believe that we were possible. I didn’t have faith that you and I could ever find each other again.” She reached a hand up to his face and ran her thumb across his lips. “But now I know that if you and I can forgive each other and make a new start, then anything is possible. Even finding April.”
He threaded his fingers through her hair and then they were kissing, their tongues dancing together. Rekindled memories of the way they’d been collided with the sensation that he was loving her for the very first time.
Unable to go slow when he’d been wanting her for so damn long, he nipped and sucked at her sweet mouth, the sensitive bow at the center of her upper lip, the seductive plump flesh of the lower one.
Moving his hands down her back, to the curve of her hips, he pulled her closer, his raging hard-on throbbing and pulsing against her belly.
“It’s been too long,” he confessed against her lips. “I don’t know if I can go slow.”