I tossed back the last of my wine. “So if you think I’m going to walk out of here and not look back, you’re wrong. Instead, I’m going to beg you for more.”
“It’s the more that scares me,” he said, and I think it was the only time I had ever seen hard, honest fear in those eyes.
I shook my head, not understanding.
“Christ, Kat, don’t you get it? I’m not afraid you’re going to want to walk. I’m afraid I’ll take it too far. Do you have any idea how hard I have to work to keep my grip? How easy it is for me to just lose it?”
I thought about the glass I’d heard shattering at the gala and about all the stories I’d heard about Cole’s famous temper.
And then I thought of the tender way he’d touched me and brushed away my tears. The softness in his voice.
“You won’t,” I said.
“You don’t know me that well.”
I do, I thought. But what I said was, “Maybe not. But I want to. And I know what I’ve seen so far.”
I searched for some reaction on his face. Pleasure. Relief. Anger. Right then I really didn’t care. But there was nothing. It remained passively blank.
He stood. “I’m going to take a shower.”
“Dammit, Cole.” I got to my feet as well. “I’m not afraid,” I said as he started to leave the room. “I’m not, dammit, but if you are then don’t touch me. Just call me.”
I’m not sure where the inspiration for those words came from, but they worked. He paused in the doorway.
“Call you?”
“You kept backing off and backing off. Pushing me away. But then on the phone, when you called, you didn’t hesitate. Not at all. Not really.”
I remembered the strength in his voice. The certainty. “That’s it, isn’t it?” I asked, my voice gentle. “It was easy to call me because there was no risk. No reason to be afraid of hurting me because I wasn’t there.”
I could understand that. Hadn’t it been easier for me, too? I had no problems getting myself off, but with Cole hadn’t I actually come under a man’s touch—albeit an imaginary one—for the first time since, well, since forever?
He’d opened a door for me, and dammit, I wanted to do the same for him.
He said nothing, but I saw him draw in a breath, then close his eyes for a moment too long.
I took a step toward him. “But I was there,” I whispered. “I felt every touch, every sensation. You were right beside me, Cole, and everything was fine. Hell, it was more than fine. It was incredible.”
I waited for him to say something, and when he didn’t, I pressed on, determined to make him understand. “You want to spank me? To tie me up? Do you want to use a whip on me or, I don’t know, something else entirely?” I finished lamely, because I really didn’t know what the something else could be. “Then call me. Tell me. Describe it to me. Every lash, every mark. Lose yourself in it, Cole. Take me, hurt me. Don’t you see? I’m giving myself to you—wholly and completely. You can have me any way you want me.”
I pressed my palm to his bare chest and felt the pounding of his heart, so hard, so fast. “Start like this, and then you’ll see. And maybe then you can take me the rest of the way. Because I want to go with you, Cole. I really, really do.”
I tried to read his answer on his face, but his expression was shuttered and he closed his eyes. Desire and hope warred inside of me, and I wanted to drop down onto my knees and beg him.
Instead, I simply waited. One moment, then a moment longer.
Frustrated, I released a slow, soft sigh, then took my hand from his chest.
Immediately, he grabbed it, then put it back exactly where it was. Only once I was touching him again did he open his eyes, and the pure longing I saw there made me want to pull him close. To kiss him. To burst into song.
Instead, I stayed perfectly still, afraid that I was seeing too much. Expecting too much.
“Kat,” he finally said, his voice so full of heat and tenderness that I was certain I would melt.
“Yes?”
“Two things.”
I nodded.
“From now on, answer your phone when I call. I don’t care what else you’re doing, if it’s me, you answer the phone.”
My heart fluttered. “Yes.” And then I remembered the books I’d read, the movies I’d seen. “Yes, sir,” I added, and was rewarded with an amused curve to his lips. “And the second thing?”
“I want you in my bedroom,” he said. “And, Kat? I want you naked.”
I grinned. “Funny. I want that, too.”
twelve
When he came into the bedroom with the wine and our glasses, I was sitting on the end of his bed naked, my fingers lightly stroking my sex. He paused just inside the doorway, then slowly raked his gaze over me, starting at my toes and then moving up to meet my eyes.
“How very bold you’ve become, blondie.”
How right he was. I was shameless with this man. Wanting everything, and more than willing to play dirty to get what I wanted.
Right then, I was playing as dirty as I knew how. I arched my back, spread my legs just a bit wider, and slowly thrust two fingers deep inside myself. “I was hoping to give you ideas,” I said. “Like subliminal suggestions.”
His mouth twitched. “Oh, really?”
“I want you to fuck me, Cole. I want your cock inside me.” I moved my hips in time with my fingers, and saw the way that he watched the show—and the way he was watching got me even hotter. “I intend to get what I want. I promise you, I can be very persuasive.”
“I bet you can,” he said. He put the wine and the glasses on a nearby table and took a single step toward me. “I believe I told you to come in here, get undressed, and lay down on the bed while I went and got some wine.”
“You said that,” I admitted. “I think I mentioned that I’ve never been very good at following the rules.”
“I assume you know what happens to girls who are naughty?” He gave the drawstring on his sweats a tug, then let them fall from his hips to the ground. He stepped out of them, then walked naked toward me, fully erect, huge, and intimidating as hell.
I swallowed, then shifted my gaze up from his cock to his face. I stood up and walked toward him. “Just so you know, I intend to be even more naughty.”