Then he whispered back, “Yeah, totally full of shit.”
I blinked at his bizarre response to my heartfelt words that I thought were very nice and he went on.
“The thing I didn’t get before is that you not only have no clue, you also have no clue you’re full of shit.”
“Sam, I’m not full of shit.”
Suddenly, his head dipped down but to the side and his mouth was at my ear.
“You get that he took something precious from you, your ability to trust. But, I hate to break this to you, honey, he took more and whatever your girl was tellin’ you on the phone that made you freak and if you’d open your eyes to what’s happenin’ right now, you’d see what he took was more precious even than trust and you’d see you got people around you who want to help you get it back. Do not f**k up and let that opportunity slide. He took that from you, now’s your time to fight and get it back.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’ll see.”
“Sam –”
“Just live in the now, Kia, keep livin’ in the now and when I say that, right now, I mean with me and I promise, you’ll see.”
“That doesn’t make me any less scared, Sam,” I whispered in his ear and he lifted his head and looked down at me.
“He strapped you with that too, baby. Fight back and learn to be fearless.”
Something about his words struck hard and it struck deep.
I had lived in fear a long time. I couldn’t remember the last time I woke up and didn’t spend every second of every day living in fear. Even now, even after Cooter was gone, I woke up filled with fear.
It had gone so long I had no clue how to be fearless.
“I don’t think I can,” I admitted.
“You can, everyone can.”
“I’m not sure that’s me.”
“Okay, when you can’t, you learn how to be.”
“Sam, I don’t –”
I stopped speaking when his arms gave me a squeeze and he asked, “Where are you?”
“Sorry?”
“Where are you right now, Kia?”
“In Lake Como.”
He grinned.
Then he bent close again and whispered, “You’re in the arms of the man you borderline internet stalked a day after he asked you out on a date. You didn’t take today to run away. You didn’t sit in your room, listen to me knock and not answer the door. You put on a dress, you walked with me to a euro-trash car and you went out with me. If there’s fear in there somewhere, I don’t see it. What I see is, today you may have been nervous, but you didn’t let that cripple you and right now, you’re here with me. Baby, you’re already fearless.”
“But I’ve been terrified all day.”
“Did you let it stop you?”
“No.”
He said no more.
Ohmigod?
Was he right?
Ohmigod!
He was right!
“She sees the light,” he muttered through a grin, watching me.
“Sam –”
He cut me off. “That’s your first block, baby, use it, step up on it and keep climbing. You’ll get to the other side. You with me?”
“I’m not sure,” I whispered.
“You not with me?”
“Um… well…”
“You might not be sure but you are definitely with me,” he stated and made his point by giving me another squeeze. “So how about you go with that for now? Yeah?”
I stared up at him.
Then I predicted, “You’re going to get bored of this.”
“Yeah?” he asked on another grin.
“Definitely.”
“We’ll see,” he muttered.
“I’ll bet you a thousand dollars you get bored of me,” I told him, his head tilted to the side and then he burst out laughing. “Seriously,” I said through his laughter.
He sobered but, still smiling, he replied, “I’ll take that bet, Kia. It’ll serve me right to pay up; I’m stupid enough to get bored of you. And an example of why I know I’d be stupid to get bored of you is that you’d make me a f**kin’ bet for one large that I’d get bored of you.”
My heart fluttered and my fingers spasmodically pressed into his chest.
His smile got bigger.
“I’m back to thinking I need champagne,” I informed him.
To which he murmured, “I bet you are.”
“I’m serious,” I pressed.
“I bet you’re that too.”
“Sam,” I snapped and he grinned again.
Then he moved back but curled an arm around me and moved me down the terrace toward the doors we went through to come out.
“Champagne then I’ll show you Luci’s other cars,” he declared and I had to admit, after the Lamborghini, which also didn’t fit her, I was intrigued.
“With a euro-trash rating of first to last, where does the Lamborghini fit?” I asked.
“Number five,” he answered instantly and my head jerked around and back to look at him.
“You mean the others are worse?”
“She’s got great taste in clothes, shit taste in cars. She let me pick which one I wanted and the one I have is the only one of her rides I’d even consider putting my ass in.”
“What did Gordo think of this?”
He guided me in and immediately jerked up his chin to someone, I followed his eyes and saw a white-coated waiter nod and move away and Sam looked back down to me.
“To forget she goes to bed alone and until she sorts her shit out, she’ll keep doin’ it, first, she’s up in my business and next, she buys cars Gordo would lose his mind if he ever knew she’d even test-driven much less bought them and brought them home.”
My eyes slid through the room trying to find her and not succeeding as I muttered, “Interesting.”
“Yeah,” Sam said distractedly. “I can read a lotta shit, baby, but that I do not get.”
I had no reply and luckily didn’t have to make one because the waiter came bearing a flute of champagne. I took it and I sipped.
Then Sam took my hand and moved me through the people, muttering, “Cars.”
Then we went and inspected Luciana’s cars.