“I didn’t know,” she murmured faintly.
“Of course not. I didn’t want you to know,” Dash bit out. “I wouldn’t have laid that on you, Joss. What could you have done? You were in love with another man. Married to another man. My best friend. You knowing would have solved nothing and would have put a strain on our relationship. On the three of us.”
She raised her gaze to him, haunted, she was sure, because what she had to ask next . . .
“And Carson?” she whispered. “Did he know?”
Dash hesitated only a moment, as if he were deciding just how blunt to be with her. Then he gave a quick shake of his head, almost as if he were deciding that she should have it all. That maybe he thought she was finally ready to hear what she’d been ignorant of for so long.
“He knew,” Dash said grimly.
“Oh my God,” Joss said shakily. “He knew? And you were friends? Dash, I don’t understand any of this!”
Dash sighed and then gently pulled her forward until she was nestled into his chest. He laid her head against his shoulder and kissed the top of her hair as one hand glided downward, separating and stroking the tresses that had now tumbled down from the clip that had secured them earlier.
There was so much more in his embrace than the comfort he’d offered for the last three years. She knew it now, but hadn’t known it then. Her entire body was on high alert. Her pulse raced and thudded in her veins. Her br**sts tingled and her ni**les beaded and tightened against the dress. She hadn’t worn a bra and she knew that Dash could feel the imprint of her ni**les through their clothing.
“Carson understood,” Dash said in a low voice. “And yes, we were friends and we remained friends because he knew I would never betray him and he knew you would never betray him. He knew that I would never act on my attraction. But yes, he knew. And I think it gave him a measure of comfort to know that if anything ever happened to him I’d step in. That I’d be here and that I’d give you everything you could possibly want or need.”
She pushed off his chest to look him in the eye. “But Dash, that had to have been . . .”
She trailed off, seeing the fire in his eyes. As if he’d suppressed his need and want for so long and now it was unleashed, vibrant and blazing in his eyes.
“It was hell,” Dash quietly confirmed. “It was heaven and it was hell. Heaven when I got to spend time with you. When I simply got to look at you or see you smile. It was hell going home at night knowing you were in Carson’s arms and not my own.”
“I didn’t know,” she choked out. “I didn’t know, Dash!”
His expression gentled and he put his hand up to stroke her cheek, rubbing downward in a tender caress.
“I didn’t want you to know, Joss. I was in an impossible position and I never wanted that for you. For Carson. I loved you both and I would have never done anything to destroy your marriage or cause trouble. So I waited. But I’m done waiting and you need to know that.”
Her breath caught again at the sincerity emblazoned on his features.
His hand trailed downward until his fingers brushed ever so lightly across her lips. She was tempted to lick them, wanting to taste him on her mouth.
“But now I feel as though I’ve been handed a gift I never dreamed of receiving. I was prepared to deny everything about myself. For you. I never imagined you’d want what it is I can give you. So I would have suppressed that need to dominate. I would have never demanded anything of you that you weren’t prepared to offer freely. But now that I know what you want? Brace yourself, Joss, because now that I know, I’m not going to hold back any longer. I can give you all that you want and need and so much more. So very much more. You just have to decide whether you trust me to give that to you. And whether you think you can possibly come to care for me as much as I care for you.”
She did lick her lips then. Nervous. Anticipation tingling up her spine. And hope. Slowly unfurling like the petals of a flower at the first brush of spring. Warming in the sunshine after a long winter, waiting to bloom and burst free of constraints.
“I don’t know where to start,” she said honestly. “Tonight . . . It went nothing as I had planned.”
“Thank f**k for that,” Dash muttered. “God, when I think of what could have happened had I not been there. It’s fate, Joss. She’s a fickle bitch and at long last she’s smiled on me.”
“What happens now?” she asked quietly, her gaze never leaving his.
He leaned in, cupping her face with exquisite tenderness and reverence. His lips hovered precariously close to hers, his breath warming her skin. And then he kissed her.
Heat exploded through her veins, rushing until she could hear the roar in her ears. It was like an electric shock, something so unexpected and yet wonderful. Desire, long dormant, rose like a fury, curling through her womb and spreading outward like a wildfire.
Her skin prickled, chill bumps rising and dancing across her skin until she shivered uncontrollably against him.
He deepened the kiss, swiping his tongue warmly over the seam of her lips until she parted them breathlessly and he swept in, colliding with her tongue. He moaned softly against her mouth. She swallowed up the sound, suddenly hungry, so very hungry for more.
Never had she imagined feeling this way again. Of experiencing the intense craving, of having desire grab hold and completely overtake her. She’d been cold, so very cold, for so very long, and now she was warm. Bathed in fire. His heat consumed her. His smell, his taste, the very essence of him. How could she have never known? How could she have never imagined? How could she have never seen him as the desirable, alpha male who was currently kissing her senseless?
When he pulled away, his eyes were hooded and flush with answering desire.
“What happens now, Joss, is that you are mine. At long last, you are mine. And if all you said is true, if what you want and need is my dominance, then be assured. I will possess you. I will own you. And you will never know another man than me.”
FIVE
DASH watched the myriad of emotions washing through her eyes. She was so expressive. She’d always been so. It was one of the things he’d enjoyed most about her. One only had to look into her eyes to know her mood. Happiness, sadness, excitement.
Arousal.
The last, he found, was extremely satisfying. Never had she looked at him as she did right at this moment. Triumph surged, even as he tempered his reaction. This wasn’t in the bag. Not by a long shot. Her next words confirmed that for him.
“I need time to think . . . About this—us,” she said in a shaky voice. “This was so unexpected, Dash. I don’t want to make a hasty decision that I—we—will later regret.”
Her honesty was another thing he’d always admired about her.
“Of course,” he murmured. “There’s no rush.” Even as his mind screamed that there was every need to rush. He didn’t want her to think about it. Didn’t want her talking herself out of it. But he couldn’t blow this. Not when he was so close to getting what he’d wanted for so very long.
“I don’t know how long . . .”
She trailed off, lifting her hand to her temple as if it ached before letting it flutter back down to her lap. He took her hand, rubbing the pad of his thumb over her silky skin. Such slender, delicate fingers. Like the rest of her. He couldn’t get enough of touching her. He’d certainly touched her in the past, but always in the capacity of a friend. Affectionate. Nothing even resembling intimacy. They both knew his touch was intimate now, and it was a thrill he wouldn’t soon get over.
“Take your time, honey. But I want you to promise me something, okay?”
When she didn’t immediately look up, he lifted his free hand and cupped her chin, his touch as delicate as her skin.
“Look at me, Joss. This is important.”
She lifted her gaze to his, all the turmoil boiling in her gorgeous blue eyes.
“I want you to take as long as you need to think about it—us. But I want you to promise me that you won’t go back to The House. Not without me. Not for any reason. Not until this is decided between you and me, and I hope to hell that, even if you don’t choose me, that you won’t go there on your own. I don’t want to imagine you under another man’s hands. Him touching you everywhere I want to be touching you. Do this for me at least.”