I casually wiped my knife clean on his pants leg and pulled off the leather gloves I was wearing, shoving them in my pocket. I took out a toothpick and put it in my mouth. Then I rolled down my sleeves and retrieved my suit coat. When I got out the door, I glanced around for potential witnesses, just in case.
The neighborhood was deader than the man I had just dealt with. Going for a stroll wasn’t really our thing in South Boston, especially not around noon. You either worked hard, took care of the little ones at home or nursed a fucking hangover. The only witness to my visit to the church was a bird, sitting on an ugly power line up above, eyeing me suspiciously from the corner of its eye. It was a bland looking sparrow.
I crossed the road and got into my car, slamming the door behind me. Taking out a Sharpie from the glove compartment, I crossed another name off my list.
1 – Billy Crupti
2 – Father McGregor
3 – The asshole who hired Billy?
I sighed as I looked at number three, shoving the crumpled yellow paper back into my pocket.
I’ll find out who you are, motherfucker.
I looked out the window. The sparrow didn’t move, not even when a gust of wind sent the power line dancing and the bird lost its balance. The irony wasn’t lost on me. Fucking sparrow, of all birds.
I fought the urge to throw something at it, revved up the engine and spat the toothpick in my mouth into the ashtray after it was thoroughly chewed.
I thought I saw the stupid bird still following my car with its tiny eyes as I stopped at a red light and looked out my side mirror. Averting my gaze down, I checked for blood traces. There weren’t any.
McGregor was dead, but the void in my stomach didn’t shrink an inch.
It was alarming, because in order to keep my promise to my dad, I had another name to handle that wasn’t even on my list.
But this wasn’t a person I was supposed to kill. This was a person I was supposed to resurrect.
I, of all people, needed to be her savior.
Other people—normal people, I guess—would have never agreed to sacrifice this part of their lives for their father. But other people didn’t live under Cillian Brennan’s shadow, didn’t feel the urge to constantly step up their game to be equal to their late legendary sire. No, I’d follow his wishes. And I’d even make it work.
All I knew when I drove away from my childhood church were two things:
My father had sinned.
But I was to be punished.
The sparrow is associated with freedom. At one time, sailors got a tattoo of a sparrow for every five thousand nautical miles they traveled. Sparrows were believed to bring good luck. Sometimes the sailor got his sparrow tattoo even before leaving the docks, hoping it would act as a talisman and help bring him safely home again.
SPARROW
Three years later
“IS IT POSSIBLE TO feel your heart breaking, even if you’ve never fallen in love?” I stared back at the woman in the mirror, chewing on my lower lip until the tender flesh cracked. I looked like a stranger.
Sorrow slammed into me like thunder. Sorrow for the man I would never meet, for the first love I would never experience, for the romance I would never have. For the butterflies that would never take flight in the pit of my stomach. For hope, happiness and anticipation, things I would never feel again.
“I didn’t spend three hours doing your makeup so you can munch on your lipstick like it’s a bag of chips, sweetheart.” Sherry, the makeup artist, fussed around me.
Just then, the hair stylist, a gay man in his late twenties, marched into the room, carrying a bottle of hairspray, and sprayed my hairline again without warning, spritzing the cold liquid all over my eyes. I blinked, fighting the burning sensation both on my face and from the inside.
“You done harassing me yet?” I hissed, stepping away from the mirror and walking to the other side of the luxurious presidential suite.
My first stay in a five-star hotel. And it made me feel like a glorified hooker.
I retrieved a champagne glass I was pretty certain wasn’t even mine and downed the whole thing in one gulp, slamming the glass against the fancy silver tray, fighting the urge to wipe my mouth with the back of my hand so that Sherry wouldn’t kill me. The glass broke into two pieces, and I grimaced, looking back at the crew Troy Brennan has appointed to make me look like the perfect little bride.
“I’m sure Mr. Brennan will have no problem footing the bill for this...too.” Sherry waved her hand, her overdone platinum hair stiff as a rock on her head.
She had a cleavage so deep you could almost see her belly button. She looked like a showgirl from one of the joints Pops used to work at, not exactly the kind of person I’d take fashion and makeup tips from. Then again, I had no say in anything about this wedding.
“As long as you didn’t hurt yourself,” said Joe, the stylist, wiggling his index finger at me. He pried the broken stem from between my fingers with his free hand. “Don’t want you bleeding all over the dress. It’s a vintage Valentino, mind you.”
I didn’t even pretend to look like I knew what a vintage Valentino was. Why would a girl from my tough South Boston neighborhood know anything about couture? Ask me about coupons and how to sneak into the subway for free, and I’d tell you all about it. High fashion, though? Yeah, not for me.
I rolled my eyes and walked into the bathroom to wash my hands. If I had nicked my finger, I wouldn’t want to infuriate Brennan by staining the costly rental dress. The counter was littered with hair products and makeup, as well as creams, spa essentials and my cell phone. I jumped when the phone bleeped with a text.