She pressed her finger against her lips, and peered at the ceiling as if in deep thought. “Actually, I kind of figured you were the same as me and that you just liked it that way.”
“Damn straight. I’m not playing out some childhood trauma in the way I like to have sex,” he said in that smooth, confident voice she loved.
“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”
“You’d look sexy smoking a cigar. But then you’d look sexy in just about anything. Which is sort of my point. I like what I like and I like it all with you.”
A shiver raced through her blood at his words. She brushed her lips against his jaw. “I feel the same about you,” she whispered, and he took her in his arms quickly. A warm, strong embrace. He didn’t say anything, just breathed her in, and she did the same. The moment felt suspended almost, existing in its own blissful bubble of possibility. Her mind toyed with all the potential of the two of them, of the ways this moment could turn into many more. She liked being with him so much, maybe too much.
“What’s your story?” He asked after she slipped slowly from his hold.
“Do I like what I like? Or do I appreciate tits and ass, you mean?”
“That’s a valid question. But I suppose I was thinking more along the lines of whether you bake pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving.”
“I’m more of a pecan pie kind of gal. And yes, I have one of those – shockers – normal families too. Though not nearly as exciting as yours. Mom’s in real estate, dad’s an orthodontist, and they live in Sherman Oaks, California, where I grew up. My best friend is my sister. Well, my other best friend is my hair stylist, Gayle, but then who else does a woman tell all her secrets to but her hairdresser,” she said playfully.
“I hate secrets,” Clay said in a harsh tone, with narrowed eyes. His words jolted her. Like she’d been shocked by the unexpected ire in his statement. Julia’s gaze drifted down; his fists were clenched.
“What do you mean?”
“Secrets eat away at people,” he said, practically spitting out the words on the red counter.
She’d touched some kind of nerve.
Chapter Five
Okay, fine. She got it – secrets could suck. But she had a big one, and she didn’t need or want to feel like she was doing something wrong by keeping it. She had no choice. She was boxed in by her awful ex and what he’d done to her, and now by what Charlie was doing to her as he made her pay for Dillon’s crimes – crimes he blamed on her. Some days she felt like she’d never get out from under it all. Not from Charlie and not from the need for secrets and lies.
She grabbed the steering wheel of the conversation and swerved out of the way of the topic. “I have a secret I can tell you. Mine is that I’m wearing no underwear.”
That earned her a wicked grin. He laid a strong hand on her knee. “Hardly a secret. I knew that. Tell me things that are secret now, but won’t be in a few seconds. Tell me what you love most in the world,” he said.
“Cupcakes, my sister, and freedom,” she said, and truer words were never spoken.
“And what do you hate most?”
That was easy. Too easy. “Owing things,” she said, and because she didn’t want to discuss it more she turned the questions back on him. “What do you love most in the world?”
“Scotch. Ties. Movies. Family.”
“And what do you hate most?”
“Lies. I hate lies.”
“But you’re a lawyer,” she said, furrowing her brow.
“So that means I can’t dislike lies?”
“Don’t you have to lie for a living?”
“No. I don’t have to lie,” he said, and his voice was strong and passionate. “I fight. I fight for what my clients want. There’s a difference.”
“What else do you fight for?”
“For the things I want.”
“Do you want me?” She asked, turning the conversation down another street yet again.
“I want you so f**king much, Julia,” he said, and he wasn’t giving an order or command this time. There was something almost naked in his voice. A vulnerability that he let show now and then. He pulled her close, buzzed his lips along her jaw, then up to her ear. “I meant it when I said I couldn’t stop thinking about you all week. I wanted to f**k you and I wanted to talk you. I want to spend more time with you. I want to get to know you more and more. You fascinate me,” he said, kissing her neck, his sandpaper stubble rough against her skin, the feel of him melting her inside.
His words too sent a shudder through her, filling her with that delicious feeling of falling in like with someone. Of flutters and wishes and the hope for more – more time, more moments. But saying she wanted more was hard for her. Letting someone in was even tougher because she knew where it might lead to – to her being owned in yet another way she’d never see coming. So she shifted back to the pure truth of the physical.
“Now you’re turning me on again,” she whispered.
“It’s a good thing you’re not wearing any panties.”
“Oh yeah. Why’s that?”
He pulled away, glanced around the restaurant as if he were sweeping it for spies, then reached into his back pocket. There were a few other diners at nearby tables, as well as the bartender and the waiter. He took his hand from his pocket, his fingers curled around in a fist, like he was hiding something.