The man’s face is a blur behind the stainless steel barrel of a pistol that’s aimed right at me. Chills spark throughout my body, causing my lungs to collapse as I desperately try to speak, but he speaks first.
“You won’t ever fucking touch her again,” he snarls as he moves towards me with his arm straight out in front of him, marking his target.
I quickly stand on weak legs, holding my hands up in surrender, and plead through my crashing panic, “Declan, don’t do th—”
(bang)
1
(bang)
CRIMSON SOAKS THROUGH the white cotton, spreading its death through the fibers of his shirt as he stands there, wide-eyed. My body goes numb as I watch him slowly stumble backwards. The weight of the pistol becomes too much for my delicate fingers to hold, and the gun slips out of my hand, falling to the floor with a thump at the same time Pike does.
I’m frozen as I stand here, looking down at my brother. His body begins to spasm, his eyes never blinking, and the gurgling sounds in his throat turn violent as he starts choking on his own blood.
I don’t move to help him; instead, as if I’m watching a horror movie, I become a voyeur.
This isn’t real. This is a dream; it isn’t real.
The terror in his eyes is chilling as they glaze over, dilate, and stare into negative space.
His body stills, paralyzed to the ground, and then silence takes over. It’s in this moment that I begin to feel the warmth of blood flowing through my veins, and I move. Inching slowly towards Pike, my trembling body kneels next to him, but I’m too scared to touch him.
Is this real?
Simply observing, I note a tinge of blue blooming on his lips. I sit. The world unmoving. My mind drifts to a faraway place where nothing exists. It’s pure and empty and free from emotion. I settle in this solitary space, breathing in white noise, when suddenly the body next to me convulses. A retching of coagulated blood splutters out of Pike’s mouth as his stomach contracts in alarming pulses, and then instantly stops. My heart pounds in an unsteady rhythm as I watch Pike’s body soften into the floor beneath him. And when there is no more life, I wake up, snapping out of my trance as reality barrels into me.
Holy shit!
Grabbing his arm, I panic, jerking him. “Pike?” Shaking his arm, I murmur in fear, “Pike, wake up. Pike, come on.” I move to hover over his lifeless body, gripping his shoulders and shaking him profusely, begging louder, “Wake up. Wake up! This isn’t funny.” Tears burn my eyes, and I choke on my own words. “Wake up, Pike! I’m so sorry. Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Please, wake up!”
His eyes are still wide open, but there’s no movement. They’re frozen, locked in place, and utterly black.
What have I done?
Pain stabs my lungs as I throw my head up to the heavens and release the most God-awful severing cry, but there’s no sound that comes out of me. The agony is too much, so I wail in a torturous breathlessness. My heart, splintering, ripping apart, takes on a new meaning of misery, creating an emotion that never existed before this very moment, but it’s too much. I can’t bear it, but I feel its birth inside of me.
Looking back down, I no longer see the man I hated only moments ago. Instead, I see the boy who desperately loved me his whole life, and I crumple over, shifting his arm so that I’m able to nestle in the crook against his chest. He’s still warm, and like I’ve done my whole life, I selfishly take comfort from him. I’m nothing but rot, using Pike, even in his death, in an attempt to soothe myself. I wrap myself around him and cry, breathing him into my soul. His shirt is a soggy combination of blood and sweat, yet I can still smell the ever-familiar fumes of his clove cigarettes as I close my eyes.
“You’re gonna be okay.”
His whispered voice startles me, and I pop up to look down at him. He’s alive, blinking, and I see his lips moving when he speaks again.
“Don’t cry, Elizabeth. I’m still here.”
“Oh my God, Pike!” I murmur in disbelief.
“It’s gonna be okay,” he assures again, and I cry, “How?”
“Because I love you, and I believe in you. You’re a fighter. A warrior.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to shoot you. God, I’m losing control, but I can’t lose you.”
A hint of a smile appears on his lips. “You’ll never lose me. You’re my sister. I’ve never loved anyone as much as you. All I ever wanted in this world is for you to be happy. You’re a survivor.”
“What do I do?”
“Run.”
“What?” I question with a slight shake of my head, and when my eyes meet his again, cold, black orbs greet me. “Pike?” Pinching my eyes closed, I open them back up, but the vision remains. He’s dead, and I’m losing it.
His words sink in. He’s right. I’m a fighter; he taught me how. So with that, I feel my spine straighten, and I take in a couple slow, calculated breaths. I lean down and capture his lips, taking my second kiss of death today. When I pull away, I drop my fingertips to his brows and gently run them down his face, closing his eyelids so that he can sleep peacefully. Wrapping both Pike and Declan safely in the steel cage around my heart, I swallow hard as I shift to stand. Today I lost the two pieces of my black, black heart, but now I have no other choice than to save myself.
I move quickly around the trailer, stripping out of my bloody clothes and changing into a pair of Pike’s sleep pants and an old t-shirt. I need the smell of him on me because I’m scared to be alone. Gathering my belongings, I make sure to grab the file Pike took from Declan’s before I wipe my fingerprints from various surfaces. Looking back at Pike, who lies dead in a puddle of darkened blood, I release a silent goodbye and thank him for saving me by giving me every piece of him. My body fights hard against the boiling pain that’s begging to erupt, and I shove the thoughts away that it should be me lying there—dead. At least then I would be with Declan.