“You’re goddamned right I am! I never claimed otherwise.”
My eyes stung with hot tears and that was the last straw for me. I was at work. I wasn’t going to break down at my desk, not when anyone could just walk by and see me crying. “I have to go.”
I hung up. Lei had gone back into her office at some point, thank God. I stood for a minute, shaking with anger and hurting. I couldn’t believe Jax was blaming me for the time we’d been apart.
Closing my eyes, I took deep breaths and forcibly put it all away. I locked up every emotion I felt and focused on the job at hand.
“Fuck you, Jax,” I whispered as I lowered into my chair.
Then I buried myself in work.
* * *
A black Mercedes waited for me at the curb after work. I knew it on sight because the driver who waited beside it had that coiled, dangerous look to him, despite the crispness of his black suit. His bearing screamed personal security and his eyes locked on me so fiercely, I felt it even through his mirrored shades.
Had Jax deliberately picked someone who’d intimidate me? Another scare tactic. Another test.
I’d been seeing a lot of new sides to Jackson Rutledge lately. Had I been in love with a mirage this whole time?
The driver gave a brisk nod in greeting and opened the back door. I slid inside and melted into the butter-soft leather seat. Closing my eyes, I longed for home. I wanted to sprawl across my bed and call my friend Lynn in Vegas. She’d been there when I first met Jax and through the weeks that followed. If anyone could help me put things into perspective, it was her.
The engine rumbled to life and the car pulled away from the curb. Knowing we were facing a slow drive due to rush-hour traffic in Manhattan, I went over the past several days in my head, gathering my thoughts so I would be at least partially coherent when I talked to Lynn. I didn’t get far before I realized we were descending into an underground parking lot. Opening my eyes and sitting up, I recognized Jax’s apartment complex.
“I thought I was going home,” I said to the driver.
“I was told to bring you here.”
I almost argued, but knew it wasn’t the guy’s fault. Jax was the one getting on my nerves. And if he wasn’t smart enough to let me settle down some before seeing him, he’d get what was coming to him.
One of the valets opened the door for me and I climbed out. The driver led me to the elevator, punched in the penthouse code, then left me to take the ride up myself.
The elevator doors slid open on the penthouse floor, revealing Jax waiting for me in the private foyer. The sight of him hit me hard.
He’d shucked his suit jacket at some point and unbuttoned his vest. His tie was loosened and the top button of his dress shirt was undone, exposing the golden column of his throat. He’d rolled up his sleeves, displaying powerful, veined forearms.
He was dressed like a businessman, yet exuded the potent virility of a man in his prime. Lust shimmered on the edges of my anger and frustration.
“Put your palm on the pad,” he ordered, jerking his chin toward the security panel beside his front door.
Clenching my teeth, I walked past him, my heels clicking across the marble. I slammed my hand against the glass and it beeped three times. “Gianna Rossi recognized and saved,” a computerized female voice said as the front door swung open.
I stalked into his apartment, tense and ready to fight. I heard him shut the door behind me.
I waited for him to say something, but he just passed me, his stride confident and sexy as hell. He carried himself like a man who liked to fuck and knew he did it well. That subtle sexual arrogance had always turned me on. Mad as I was, I still wasn’t immune.
Stopping at the metal-and-glass console in front of the wall of windows, he poured amber liquid from a crystal decanter into a squat tumbler. He took a drink, his back to me.
The silence stretched, weighting the room. I dropped my purse onto one of the black leather armchairs and crossed my arms, studying him, waiting for him. Still he stood there as if he was in the room alone.
Finally, I said, “I thought you had to work late.”
“I need to,” he said evenly.
“Then why are we here?”
He exhaled harshly. “What was it you said in Atlanta? Something about what we’ve got is worth dealing with all this crap.”
“Don’t act like I’ve got any say or control over what’s going here.” I crossed my arms. “You’re running your own show and I’m just getting dragged along for the ride.”
Jax faced me then. “I fix problems, Gia. You know that.”
“It’s not just that! It’s not just about Chad and my family. It’s always been this way with us. You say when and how and where and how long. I have no input. No control.”
His face tightened. He took a step toward me. “Is that what you think? Christ, Gia, you’ve got me by the balls!”
“If that’s true, that’s not what I want. I want us to be a team, Jax. I don’t want either of us to feel like we’re at the mercy of the other.”
He set his glass down on the coffee table as he passed it on his way toward me. “I’m completely at your mercy,” he said softly, his eyes so dark they appeared black. “All day I’ve been feeling like every step I take to get closer to you is only pushing you back. I can feel you pulling away from me...wanting distance. I can’t stand it.”
“And I’ve felt like I’m dealing with a stranger. I don’t know who you are when you’re like this. I can’t help wondering if I ever really knew you. And if I didn’t, who the hell am I in love with?”