It didn’t make sense to him. She’d grown up ridiculously wealthy. Her childhood would have been marked by opportunity.
Was it possible that she might need him?
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Kai asked. “I worry Bridget needs more than you’re willing to give any woman at this point.”
Sometimes Kai could be annoying. Will wondered if it would be rude to walk away. Probably. And he did kind of consider the guy a friend. “How do you know what I’m willing to give a woman?”
“Because we have weekly sessions and I did the whole PhD thing. Should I go over my credentials?”
“When do those end, by the way?” In order to get into Sanctum, he had to agree to weekly sessions with the good doc for a prescribed period of time.
“You’re on probation for six months. I’ll clear you at the end unless something changes radically, but I hope you consider continuing the sessions. I think it’s good for you to have a place where you can talk.”
He would never admit it, but he enjoyed those stupid sessions. Kai was right. It was good to talk. He’d told Kai things he’d never talked about before. Something about the man…well, he trusted Kai. “We’ll see, but I don’t understand how I’m hurting Bridget.”
Kai’s dark eyes brightened and he leaned in. “I’m so glad you asked.”
“I wish I hadn’t.” He knew a trap when he fell into one.
“But you did. Look, I think Bridget needs someone who can be serious about her.”
He was totally serious about fucking her. “From what I can tell she’s not dating. If she’s not in a relationship, I don’t see what’s wrong with spending some time with me. I’ve explained everything to her. I’ve been honest about what I want. If she decides to go to bed with me, it’s because she wants to.”
Kai pointed at him as though he’d made a point. “That’s the thing. I don’t know that she’s truly capable of stating what she wants. There’s a lot in her background that taught her to isolate herself and her needs. She won’t let you see when she’s upset.”
Was he high? “Have you seen what happens to people who cut her off on the highway? I was behind her once and she is the very definition of road rage. I heard a story from Serena about the way she deals with assholes who try to get out of traffic by driving in the service lane. She throws the passenger door open, man. I can’t imagine what her insurance premiums are like. I don’t think she has a problem expressing herself.”
“Anger, no. She can express that readily. Hurt? Vulnerability? Those are different. You’re a good guy, Will. You recently came off a bad relationship.”
“If by bad you mean she tried to set me up for murder, then yes, it was bad.” It still sat in his gut. How stupid he’d been. Naïve and foolish. He didn’t want Bridget to ever find out how dumb he’d been.
“You’ve still got a lot of anger and I don’t want you taking it out on Bridget,” Kai explained. “She seems like an easy target because she’s so prickly, but underneath she’s quite soft. You know she’s the black sheep of her family, right?”
She never talked about her family from what he could tell. “Why?”
“I think it has something to do with her chosen profession.”
The sex books. Her father was probably a stick in the mud and didn’t like that his daughter wrote sex for a living. “Her father is a public figure. I’m sure having a daughter who writes porn is a liability.”
Kai’s eyes widened. “Do not call it that if you want to hold on to your balls.”
“Porn?” What else was he supposed to call it? Girl porn?
“Yeah, they take offense,” Kai said. “Read her books. If you want to know who she is, read one of her books. I don’t think you’ll call it porn then. And you might have some more sympathy for her.”
He hated feeling restless and that was what this whole conversation was doing to him. The last thing he wanted to do was cause Bridget harm. “You really think having a short-term affair will hurt her?”
Kai nodded. “I think she needs more.”
“All right.” He wasn’t a bad guy, but he had to be better. “I’ll find her a date. Any way you could go to Hawaii next week?”
“I would love to. I genuinely like Bridget, but I’m not ready for a relationship either so I’ll keep my hands off her. I think you’re doing the right thing, Will. Give it some time and you’ll find the other side. You’ll come out of this and you’ll be ready for something real.”
The door opened and Will turned, ready to see Taggart or McKay.
“Will?” Bridget put a hand over her eyes, obviously adjusting to the bright light of the afternoon.
She was here. She was standing there in a white shirt and jeans and those strappy sandals she liked to wear. Her dark hair was loose and flowing.
He was a good man. He always did the right thing. He stood up. “Hey, I’m glad you’re here.”
He trusted Kai. Kai knew what he was talking about. When Starr had called two nights before, there had been rage in his gut at the very thought of her. He wasn’t in a place to give Bridget a fair shake. She needed someone who she might have a shot with. The very fact that it had run through his head that a woman didn’t give a damn about anything but sex was proof positive he wasn’t thinking straight.
She brushed her hair back and seemed to steel herself. “I tried calling you. For a guy with two phones, you don’t answer a lot.”
“It’s in the locker. I was playing basketball. Keeping your phone in your pocket is a very good way to destroy it. Despite what Taggart will tell you, McKay hits pretty hard.” He was putting off the inevitable. He didn’t want to break it off. When he told her he was letting her go, she would retreat. She wouldn’t brush it off and tell them they could be friends.
He didn’t want to be her friend. Damn it. He hated being a good fucking person in that moment.
Of course, it likely wouldn’t matter because from the grim look on her face, she’d come to give him her answer.
“Well, I probably should tell you this in person.”
Getting rejected sucked even when he’d been about to reject her in the first place. He hadn’t realized how much he’d counted on her saying yes to him. Since the moment he’d seen her, he’d plotted and planned on having her, and now that restless feeling threatened to take over. He would have to throw himself into work, but he’d taken all that time off. Still, letting her off the hook was the right thing to do. “You don’t have to say it.”