He tried to tamp it down as he got to his feet and straightened his shirt, ignoring the stares of people around him. “Let’s go. There’s a train coming in now.”
He didn’t care where it went. He would get on it and make his way home where he intended to make it very clear to his new partner exactly who was in charge.
“Damon!” She followed after him, reaching for his hand. The train pulled to a stop. It was going the wrong way but anything would do. “You need to see someone. You fainted.”
He gripped her wrist, pulling her onto the train.
Mind the gap between the platform and the train.
The ever-present reminder not to fall between the cracks echoed through the station as the doors closed. That’s what would happen to him if Penelope had her way. He would fall through SIS’s gap. He would be an operative without a mission, useless and meaningless. He would go back to his former life. Nothingness.
That wasn’t going to happen. He couldn’t let it.
The doors closed, and he herded her to the back of the train where the bench seat was open. “Sit down.”
There was fire in her eyes as she looked up at him. “I know you’re angry that I didn’t obey, but I couldn’t leave you behind. There was no way I could get on a train and leave you behind with that man. He nearly killed you before.”
“And what exactly did you think you could do? He wasn’t going to start speaking German. I didn’t need a translator.”
“I thought at least I could be with you,” she said, her eyes sliding away from him. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you being alone. I think you should see someone, Damon.”
He kept his voice low, barely above a whisper as he took the seat beside her. One long agonizing breath and he felt more in control, at least able to speak to her without frightening the others on the train. He’d brought enough attention to himself this afternoon. Still, he had a point to make with her. “I think you should mind your own business. And if you tell anyone at SIS that I fainted…”
Her own face was a careful blank. “Yes, you’ll ruin my life. I am well aware of that. You’ve properly threatened me, Mr. Knight. If you prefer to kill yourself, who am I to care? Now, I would like very much to go home and be done with this charade.”
His heart was starting to squeeze again. “I told you. You’re coming with me.”
She stared straight ahead. “I don’t very well want to come with you anymore.”
Because he’d hurt her feelings. She was a stubborn thing. He hadn’t counted on that. Damn it all, he needed her. If she walked away, the whole operation very likely got shelved. “Ah, so you don’t get your way and the operation is finished.”
A little huff came out of her throat, and she finally turned his way. “That’s not fair.”
“None of this is fair, Penelope,” he shot back. “You know how much is riding on you and the very first time I don’t do exactly what you want, you threaten the entire job. I really didn’t expect that from you.”
She was a person who wanted to please, needed it. It was precisely what attracted him to her, but it was also a weakness he would use against her.
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t work, and I know why you’re intimidating me. You don’t want me to say anything to Nigel. He doesn’t realize just how bad your lungs are.”
No one knew. He didn’t even really understand what the problem was. “He doesn’t realize it’s affecting my heart, too. Baz nicked it when he shot me. The real damage wasn’t apparent until later. I had a second surgery in the States. It should be fine, but it’s not.”
“And you won’t see a doctor because it would go on your reports. You’re mad, you know.”
“I’m trying to keep my job.” He ground the words out. No one understood, but then they didn’t have to. It was his bloody problem.
“At the cost of your life?”
“My job is my life, Penelope. It’s all I have. I will fight for it. I’ll fight you and anyone else who thinks to take it away from me.”
They sat in silence for two stops, the train moving beneath them in a familiar rhythm. He knew he should be thinking about Baz and what he was going to tell Nigel. SIS had to know about him being in London. He would have to explain how he lost the bugger in the crowd.
He should have been plotting out just how he would handle the situation, but all he could think about was how much he wanted Penelope to look at him again. Not with tears in her eyes. He wanted her to look at him the way she had at the wedding, like he meant something to her.
He’d had plenty of women who wanted him, used him for a good time in bed. Penelope was the only one who looked at him like he was worthy of something more, like he would really protect her, would take care of her in a way that didn’t involve shagging.
“Are you really all right?” she asked.
He turned to look at her. Even in profile, she looked soft. She had no place in his world. He was going to hurt her in the end. It would be so much better if he let her go. But he wasn’t going to do that. He couldn’t do it. He wasn’t going to let her get away from him.
He slid his hand into hers, lacing their fingers together. She tried to pull away, but he placed his other over hers, trapping her, holding her. “I’m fine now, darling. Let’s get home and put this behind us. We have a job to do, after all.”
She stared ahead, but he felt her relax.
The train rolled on, and he rather wished they didn’t have to get off.
Chapter Six
Penny looked up at the unassuming building in front of her. “This is some sort of sex club?”
Damon smiled at her, right back to his charming self. It was as though he’d never yelled at her, never threatened her. How could she trust a man who could look so perfect? “It’s my home. I live in apartments on the sixth floor. It’s only a sex club four nights a week.”
“It sucks, Knight. Charlie wants me to put plants all over Sanctum now. I knew this trip would blow.” Ian Taggart was a big man who seemed to hate everything. He’d been especially mad that they were late getting to the station, and then he and Damon had a private talk while she bought a few items for the night at Boots and he’d been even angrier when she’d returned.
Apparently Basil Champion had enemies on both sides of the pond.