He smoothed her hair back, a comforting gesture, and moved into his seat, doing exactly what he’d promised her. He was giving her time and space and forcing her to make a decision.
He spoke to the lieutenant about something that was happening around the city, but she couldn’t follow the conversation. Her brain was playing back some of the things he’d said to her.
Did she really want to spend the rest of her life being uncomfortable with her own body? This wasn’t just about a spanking. She was being forced to make decisions. If she couldn’t even take off her underwear in a place where she felt perfectly safe, how was she going to ever be intimate with a man again? Was sex really unimportant to her? She’d been sexless since the moment she’d discovered she was pregnant and Trevor had left her with a note and nothing more. She’d given her body over to her baby’s welfare and shut down any thought of her own pleasure.
Was she willing to spend her life without trying to figure out why Jillian blushed every time Ryan walked in a room?
She didn’t understand it. Her sister was so madly in love and Ashley couldn’t imagine ever feeling that way about another human being. Her parents had been cold, never touching, never saying the sweet things she’d learned lovers said.
Watching the couples here had made her think that she was missing something. Was she willing to miss that elusive something for the rest of her life? Would she end up like her mother, unable to give her daughter affection because she’d given up on emotional connection long before?
She didn’t want that for her baby. Ashley’s own desperate need for affection was what had sent her straight to Trevor the asshole. If Emily never saw her mom have a decent relationship, would she even be able to form connections herself?
Keith wasn’t going to be around forever. She got that. He was gorgeous. He was a billionaire. He would eventually find someone who could run his household and be an advantage when it came to his business. But he was willing to help her out now and for the foreseeable future.
All he asked was that she not allow her own insecurities to form a wall around her.
Was she going to let this chance go so no one got to see her girl parts?
She liked Keith. She was attracted to him. She was terrified at the thought of sleeping with him. What if it didn’t work? What would he think of her? And did that matter when she wanted so badly to see where he would take her?
Karina walked in, followed by Master Simon. She winked at Ashley as she followed her Dom for the night to the bar.
Karina seemed happy. She seemed like a woman who had found what she wanted.
How would she ever find what she needed if she walked away every time she got a little scared?
“Sir?”
Keith stopped talking and looked down at her. “Yes?”
“I’m ready to make my decision.” She didn’t want to wait. She stood up and took a long breath, filling her lungs with air and what she hoped was courage.
“All right.” He turned slightly to face her.
He was waiting. And she was damn well done with doing that. She forced herself to move. She couldn’t let herself care that Derek Brighton was watching. The whole of the DPD could be watching for all that mattered. This was her decision and she’d just figured out that what she and Keith wanted was the only meaningful thing. As long as she was with him, the rest of the world didn’t get a say. It was about finding what worked for them.
She slid her hands under her skirt, well aware that more than one male eye was on her. Keith sat forward, a slight smile on his face. She was his for the duration of their contract, so he was the only one who counted. He nodded and held out his hand, obviously willing to accept her decision.
And her undies.
She pushed them down, past her thighs and knees all the way to her feet. She felt cool air hit her backside as the tight skirt slid up, exposing her. Her big old ass was on display, but she supposed that was the point of the exercise. She stood back up and handed him her very sad, rather pathetic cotton undies with pink flamingos. She smoothed the skirt back down as they considered her undies.
Derek Brighton stared at them. “What the hell is that?”
Keith shook his head. “It’s horrible. This is her former underwear.” He looked over to the bar, and Joe brought by a trash sack as though this was a normal, everyday occurrence. Keith put them in the bag and Joe walked away.
Definitely her former undies.
Keith looked back to her. “All right. That’s phase one. Are you ready for phase two?”
She nodded.
At least she was ready for something.
* * * *
He tried not to let his dick take control but it was damn hard. Hard. God, he was so fucking hard and he hadn’t touched her yet.
The minute he’d realized she was submitting to him, his cock had gone crazy. She’d stood up and just for a second he’d been terrified that she was going to leave. He’d come up with a thousand and one excuses to keep her close. He’d just known he couldn’t let her walk away.
And she hadn’t. She’d pushed those ungodly panties down and handed them over to him with the most nervous look on her face.
He’d decided to push it. He’d asked if she was ready to face his discipline, almost as though he was the masochist because he’d been so damn sure she wasn’t ready.
After everything you put me through…you didn’t even know? I hope you hurt, Keith. I hope you suffer every fucking day.
He pushed aside the words. Lena’s words.
This was Ashley and he wasn’t trying to make a life with her. He didn’t fucking deserve that. He just needed to bring them both pleasure for a short period of time and to give her the gift of being comfortable in her own skin.
And he got to touch her. Fuck. He was going to touch her.
“Over my lap.” Even saying the words made his dick twitch. He stopped, waiting to see if she would actually do it.
Her eyes went wide, and he loved the way her chest hitched. Damn, but sometimes he was reminded of just how perverted he was. He could give her the choice. He didn’t want it any other way. He wanted her submission. He wanted her to lay herself over his lap and offer up her ass. He wanted her to want him to spank her.
“Do I pull my skirt up?” Ashley looked adorable, standing there with her hands in nervous fists at her sides. She wanted. It was plain on her face and in her posture. She longed and she wasn’t sure what she wanted.