It was dumb. She should’ve thought about it. After all, she remembered the disgraced Maugin family who had been banished from the Rose Tower after their child had turned up Unseelie. That family’s wealth had been based on their lineage, and they’d been supported financially by the rest of the fae.
Surely they’d slipped into poverty now, unless the Shadow King had taken them in. They’d lost everything. Her family would’ve too, if she’d been discovered as a child.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Did you love your place at the Seelie Court more than you loved me?”
“No!” He swore low under his breath. “I don’t give a damn about the Seelie Court. I’d leave it tomorrow if it weren’t for you. You cared about your place at court, Bella. That’s what I was protecting.”
She stared at him in stunned silence for a several moments before whispering, “I never loved it more than I loved you, Ronan.”
“I know that now, though I didn’t realize it back then. I made a mistake and I paid for it. I could never move on after I let you go. I found my soul mate in you and losing you slowly destroyed me over the years. Still, better me than you, Bella. Back then I thought banishment from the Rose Tower really would destroy you.”
“You were wrong. All I needed was you.” The rest of the words she could’ve said left her, and all the saliva on her tongue dried up. Bella exhaled slowly and got off the bed. She needed some time to absorb what he’d told her. She’d spent years imagining he’d say something . . . well, something other than that.
Once off the bed, she whirled to face him. Seems she had words after all. “Why didn’t you tell me back then why you were rejecting me? Why did you let me live all those years thinking I’d done something wrong or that you’d used me in some way?”
“I thought it was better if you hated me. I assumed that if I told you I knew you had Unseelie blood, you’d argue with me. You might have wanted to leave the Seelie Court to be with me and I couldn’t allow that.”
“Yes, you’re right. That’s exactly what I would’ve done.”
He pushed off the bed and paced to the bathroom and back. “You’re in the highest ranks of the Seelie, Bell. You’ve had money your whole life. You’ve had luxury and servants. If the Summer Queen threw you out of the Seelie Court, you’d have to give all that up. You’d live in poverty. You don’t know how hard it would be—”
“Don’t treat me like I’m a child, Ronan! Don’t assume I’m some ignorant, lovesick woman who, in her naïveté, assumed life would be all puppies and sunshine as long as we were together. I knew back then that leaving the Seelie Court would be hard. Don’t you think, knowing that I had Unseelie blood, I would have considered it?” She clenched her fists and made a frustrated sound. “All I want—wanted—
was to be with you, Ronan. I would”—she made another sound of frustration—“would’ve given up any amount of physical luxury in order to bind my life with my soul mate’s.” She bored a hole into him with her gaze. “I knew back then you were my soul mate, Ronan. Knew it.” Ronan only stood and stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
Bella drew a shaky breath, gathering herself, and waved a hand. “It’s done now, all over with. Out of love and a desire to protect me, you made a high-handed decision that ruined my life. I get it.”
“It ruined my life too, Bella. I can only say that I thought I was doing the right thing for you.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, you weren’t.” A breath huffed out of her. “So why tell me all of this now?”
“Because now I know you always loved me as much I loved you. Because now we have a way to be together.”
She stared stonily at him. “Who says it’s not too late?”
“I know it’s not too late. I know it because you came to me in the prison and proved that you still have feelings for me.” He paused, his jaw locking. “I know it’s not too late because you’re mine. Then. Now.
Forever.”
She turned and walked toward the bathroom so he couldn’t see the expression on her face. When she got to the doorway, her knees went doughy and she reached out to steady herself with a hand on the doorjamb. “Why didn’t you ever come to me during these last thirty years? Why didn’t you tell me all this sooner?”
“I thought you hated me.” His voice came from right behind her, and his proximity made her shoulders tighten. “It wasn’t until you came to the prison that I had any reason to believe you might still have a flicker of love left for me.”
Bella closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as her world shifted a little to the left. “I don’t know what to say.”
“The Phaendir came to me. This object I stole for them, I never planned to let them have it. I never planned to allow the Summer Queen to have it either, but now that I know you still care for me, it gives us a chance. The Summer Queen will bargain for what I have to give her; maybe she’ll even agree to protect our union, no matter how much Unseelie blood our children may have.” Gods, he wanted them to be together.
He was doing all this for her.
His hands cupped her shoulders, the heat of his body bleeding through the fabric of her sweater and into her skin. He turned her to face him, but she wouldn’t look up into his eyes. “Just give me a chance, Bell, that’s all I’m asking. I know I screwed up the first time. Give me a chance to show you I’m telling the truth.” He tipped her chin up, forcing her to look into his face. “I never stopped loving you. It never faded and it never failed.”
She blinked, her huge brown eyes coming into focus. “I can’t do this. I—” He dipped his head and stopped her words with his lips. Bella stiffened and almost pulled away, but the sensation of his mouth on hers after so many years was like a balm on an old wound—healing, nourishing. He brushed his mouth across hers as though he had all the time in the world—like he was savoring her. Then he nipped gently at her lower lip and she melted.
Ronan made a low, hungry sound in his throat and dragged her up against his bare chest, his mouth slanting over hers. He eased her lips apart and branded her tongue with his. The taste of him filled her mouth, the scent of him teased her nose, and the hard, warm press of his body against hers did things to her she could only barely recall were possible. After so many years the sexual spark was still there.