“Walked. Hitched. I found the other Changers in the mountain ranges in Durango—pretty much in-the-middle-of-nowhere Mexico. I thought some parts of the Navajo Nation were remote, but they’re roaring civilization compared to this place. The Changers were there, all right.”
“And they took you in?”
“They beat me up, stripped me naked, stole everything I had, and locked me in a cage.” Naomi looked at him in shock. “Oh, God, Jamison. Why?”
“To teach me obedience. I threatened the Alpha.”
“Why did you threaten the Alpha? What’s an Alpha?” He gave her a wry smile. “I didn’t, not intentionally. But when I showed up out of the blue, the pack leader took it as an attack by a dominant.”
“Mountain lions have packs?” Her voice shook. “I thought they were solitary.”
“Natural mountain lions are, but not Changers. They have a hierarchy, like wolves or African lions, and my scent and my approach wasn’t submissive enough for them.” Jamison folded his arms across his chest, uncomfortable with the memory. “It was partly my fault. They kept telling me to yield to their power, but the Alpha pissed me off so much I wouldn’t. The Changers feared I wanted to take over their little pack, even though I told them I didn’t give a damn and didn’t even want to stay. They’ve become inbred and paranoid, though I can’t really blame them. There’s no place in the world for them.” Naomi studied him, worried. “Is there a place in the world for you?”
“I think so.” Jamison started to pace the tiny space, restless. “The Changers hid themselves away down there. They’d fled from many parts of the world to survive together. But they spoke of others out there who manage to live among normal human beings. I plan to be one of those.”
“But what if you have no choice?” She rubbed her arms. “You already seem different.”
“Different?” He’d tried so hard to remain solidly himself. “Different how?”
“The Jamison I knew would never pace. And he wouldn’t not talk for an hour when he saw someone he knew. You rushed us out of the depot in twenty minutes. And the sex today was . . . ” He stopped. “Was what?”
“Phenomenal. You’ve always been the best lover, but . . . wow.” Jamison couldn’t help grinning, remembering the amazing joy when he’d shot his seed inside her. “It was powerful. Maybe two years of abstinence fed it?”
“Were you abstinent?”
She looked straight at him, but he saw the pain in her eyes. She wanted to believe he’d been true to her, but feared his answer.
“The Changers had weird rules about sex.” Jamison made himself stop pacing and lean against a table, pretending to relax. “Every sexual encounter you had, and who you had it with, meant something. The leader could screw whoever he wanted, in whatever form he wanted to. The next cat down could screw anyone she wanted, but had to submit to the Alpha. And so on. They tried to put me at the bottom, at the mercy of everyone, but no way was I letting myself be used like a sex slave. They said I could participate in the group orgies if I stayed chained up, but I declined.” Naomi smiled suddenly, like the sun lighting up the sky. “I know you, Jamison. You didn’t just decline.”
“No, I pretty much told them what I thought about their sexual perversions, in vivid terms. Navajos are a modest people.”
“Modest, my ass. This afternoon you stripped in my bedroom, ripped off my clothes, and jumped my bones.”
Jamison warmed, thinking of the glorious feel of her clenched around him. “I pulled down the shades first.” He came to her. “Besides, it was you. I’ve never been able to resist you.” Her gaze moved to his lips, and his pulse started to throb. “You haven’t finished your story,” she said.
“It’s almost done. Another way I fought their sexual advances was to tell them I already had a mate.
This puzzled them, because according to the Alpha, Changers should only take Changer mates. Even Changers who mainstream don’t marry.”
“A mate.” Naomi’s voice went quiet.
“That’s what they call it.” Jamison cupped her cheek. “It sounds more intimate than girlfriend, but less intimate than lover.”
“Did you mean me?”
He laughed softly. “Of course I meant you. My lover with the turquoise eyes.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth.
“Why were they so cruel to you?”
Jamison brushed a strand of hair back from her forehead. “They did teach me things, like how to control the Change, and how to calm the beast inside me so I didn’t savage everything in sight. I learned how to be contained, controlled. It took a long time. They were right to keep me caged at first. I tried to rip out the throats of everyone I saw.”
She slid her arms around his waist. “I can’t believe that.”
“I’d never felt like that in my life. I was a killer, and I wanted to kill. Me, the storyteller who reads to children.” Jamison remembered his fear and self-loathing, his certainty he couldn’t trust himself with anyone he loved. “But the Changers taught me how to focus the killing instinct to what was necessary
—hunting game or moving up in the pack. Not that they were about to let me move up. They taught me, but the Alpha didn’t trust me.”
“You got away from them, though.”
Jamison nodded. “Once I got used to the Change and made it clear I wasn’t going to challenge the Alpha, they let me have more freedom. Not much, but more. The Alpha had some idea of using me as a guard for the pack, but he couldn’t trust me enough. So he decided that, to enforce my loyalty to him, I should mate with one of his females.”
The worry returned to Naomi’s eyes. She was trying to listen and be understanding, but he preferred her flash of jealousy to total indifference.
“Was she pretty?” Naomi asked, trying to sound casual.
Jamison wanted to laugh. “She’d lived in the remote desert most of her life, and I don’t think she’d combed her hair in five years. She was a beautiful mountain lion, but as a woman . . . let’s just say she let herself go.”
Naomi didn’t look amused. “Are you telling me this because you think it’s what I want to hear?”
“Because it’s the truth, love. I didn’t want to take her as mate, either as a cat or as a human. I wanted to get out of there, get home, and find you.” He lost his smile. “But they didn’t want me to go.”