He shook his head desperately. "I don't know. I don't know."
For a few moments there was silence.
"Do you remember what you said to me over dinner, the first time we went out?" I asked eventually. "'Nothing worth having comes risk free.' Well, that's how I feel now." I got to my feet and moved over to him, taking his hands in mine. "I'm a big girl. I can make my own decisions. I understand the risks, and I'm telling you I'm okay with them. I love you, Sebastian, and if that's the price for being with you, then it's one I'm willing to pay. The question is, are you?"
The surge of emotion on his face mirrored my own. That was the first time I'd said the L word out loud to him. It hadn't been intentional, but the moment it left my lips I knew it was true. It was so perfectly right. I could feel it down to my bones.
He closed his eyes momentarily. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that. But not now. Not now!" Pulling his hands free, he turned away. "I don't know if I can keep fighting this, Sophia. It hurts too much. Seeing you every day, not being able to hold you or kiss you or love you. It's ruining me."
"So stop fighting."
For a few seconds, I thought I'd lost him again, but then he was spinning and his lips were crashing into mine.
I'd never been kissed like that, not even by him. In that gesture, I could feel every ounce of his guilt, his pain, his love, and I found myself kissing back just as ferociously, my own torrent of emotions thundering through my chest. The joy I felt was almost enough to make me weep.
In a few seconds, he'd worked my track pants free and lifted me back onto the desk. No words were necessary. Desperation and longing burned brighter than the sun in both of us. I needed that connection, that perfect affirmation that said more than words ever could.
I was dimly aware that the door was still open, but nothing in the world could have stopped us at that moment. We were utterly lost in one another. With raw hunger, he yanked his fly down, freeing his shaft, and then buried himself inside me. My skin burned with the suddenness of it, but I didn't care at all. I savoured the pain because it came from him, a stinging symbol of the bond between us.
He moved slowly, coaxing my body to life around him with gentle thrusts. I mewed softly against his mouth, feeling myself grow slick, but he didn't break the kiss. He devoured me, drawing my lips tenderly between his teeth and stroking them with his tongue. His hands found my legs, looping under my knees to lift them higher, allowing him to sheathe himself in me all the way to the root.
Finally he pulled away, only to bury his head against my neck. "Say it again," he whispered, teasing me with a slow rocking motion.
"I love you," I breathed.
"And I love you," he replied.
And then he was moving in me again, his mouth tracing fire across my collarbone, sending my capacity for speech spiralling away. His thrusts strengthened as the animal in him gradually broke free of its cage. He snarled against my chin, one hand slipping between my legs to find my clit, sending a new chord of ecstasy thrumming through me.
His lovemaking was different now. Every time before, I'd seen a new side of him; sometimes dominant, sometimes soft, sometimes hungry, but this was all of those things together; fierce strength combined with loving tenderness. I felt like I was finally getting all of him, no more shields, no more secrets, he was finally letting it all go, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever experienced. In that moment I knew that I was his and he was mine.
As his rhythm reached its crescendo, the pressure building in my core began to swell. I wrapped my hands around his neck, fingers digging into his flesh, his body tightening in time with mine as we came together.
"God, I've missed you," he said, laying his forehead against mine as we caught our breath. Standing there above me, dishevelled and bathed in sweat, he looked absolutely radiant.
I nuzzled my nose against his. "Me too."
We moved over to the bed and lay, for a while, in each other's arms. The bliss I felt in that moment almost made it possible to forget everything that had happened; we were just an ordinary couple, snuggling together, after making love.
"I love you," I said again, turning to stare him in the eyes.
He smiled. "I'll never get sick of hearing that." His expression slipped a little, and I knew we were about to come hurtling back to reality. "I hate to break the moment, but we aren't done talking. If we're really going to do this, there's some things we need to think about."
"Okay," I replied cautiously, half afraid he was going to go off the deep end again.
He took his time choosing his words. "Even when we get through whatever is going on right now, I don't know exactly how we make this work." He raised his hand to cut off my objections. "I'm not saying we don't try. I can't deny this anymore, Sophia. I love you, and for some stupid reason you appear to return the feeling."
"I'm a slow learner, I guess," I replied.
He shot me a half smile. "The fact is, you're here and you're involved and you know things you shouldn't know. And my brothers... some of them are already worried about you. They're distracted now, but when things settle down, and we're still together, they're going to start asking questions of their own, and I don't think they're going to like the answers."
I'd been wondering about that. I may have been saved from immediate danger, but the longer I spent in the Alpha house, the more I realised that I wasn't as safe as I'd thought. I couldn't just forget everything I'd seen, and these people knew it. "So what do we do?"
He shook his head. "I don't know."
"You kind of make it sound like we're doomed, no matter what."
"No, no, that's not what I meant." He exhaled sharply. "I'll figure something out. For now, we just need to tread carefully. We both know a lot of people don't approve of your presence here, so let's not give them any reason to take it further."
Once again I felt an uneasy feeling settle in my stomach. "Are you sure about the people who kidnapped me?" I asked carefully. "Because if there's any chance it was someone here, we might wind up playing right into their hands."
"I'm sure," he said firmly. "These men are my brothers. Besides, whoever took you also killed Charlie and Simon. Nobody here would do that."