Pleasure and pain didn't compare. There was so little pain. The burn, the need, the agonizing hunger for more. That was pain. And pleasure. There was no word for the pleasure. It was pure ecstasy. It was wrapped in blazing heat. It was destroying her from the inside out and re-creating some part of her that she wondered if she should fear.
"So sweet." Chase was kissing her neck, her shoulders, impaling her ass with blistering, hard strokes. "Ah God. Kia. Baby. I need you. So f**king need you."
She could feel it, tightening.
"Sweet baby. God, I love your body, love…" His teeth bit into her shoulder, and she came apart in their grip.
Kia gave herself to it, tried to scream, but only managed a desperate wail of completion as she felt the tight knot of her clit, the tortured tension in her womb, simply explode. It shattered inside her. Fragments of who she had once been melted beneath a cascade of whoever she was now.
Behind her, Chase cried out her name, bucked, jerked, and she froze.
The pleasure was still a white-hot shower of intensity, and it magnified.
His se**n pulsed into her rear. Liquid heat, spurting inside her as he turned her head to the side, bent to her, and stole her breath with a kiss that threw her higher, hotter, that stole her soul.
She was only barely aware of Khalid's release, of his shuddering breaths, the thick throb of his c**k as he spilled inside the condom he wore.
But behind her. Behind her she felt Chase. She felt him at her lips. Felt him inside her, a part of her, and she felt the tears that eased from her eyes.
Because she knew she would never be the same again. She had wanted to be what she thought could hold the man who now spilled his seed inside her.
She had wanted to be wild, courageous, and she had wanted to be a woman who could just take the pleasure he had to give.
She wasn't that woman.
Chapter 10
Chase was in the bathroom, likely hiding out, as males are wont to do when they are in a cowardly frame of mind, Khalid thought mockingly.
Kia lay in the center of her huge bed, a small, huddled little form who had cried silent tears as she cl**axed between him and Chase.
Khalid finished dressing and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring back at her until she lifted those damp lashes and looked at him miserably.
He remembered being here two years before, realizing her screams and her tears weren't those of an aroused woman, and feeling fury shaking his soul. He had nearly killed Drew that night. He had wished more than once that he had left the bastard lying in his own blood.
He leaned closer and brushed her hair from her cheek, watching her tenderly.
"Tell him," he told her gently.
Her breathing hitched.
"Do you believe it would harm my feelings to know you do not wish my presence here any longer?" He waved his hand to the bed, feeling his chest tighten again as her eyes filled with tears. "My dear, as tragic as forgoing such pleasure would be, this is not what you need now. Tell him. Demand your due."
She looked away from him, but he saw the flash of steel in her eyes. She was already there, he realized. It was the reason for the tears.
"As men, there are times when we are pitiful excuses for lovers." He sighed. "We wound the tender hearts placed in our keeping, because our own lusts often rule us before our hearts learn how to lead us. His head fights what his heart knows."
She shook her head. "It was only for the pleasure," she whispered, her voice rough. "I thought I could do it."
Khalid shook his head. "I always knew differently, little one. Your heart rules your lusts, and always, Chase has drawn both your eye as well as your desires. I've known this for many years. It was Chase who did not wish to see. To see would have risked his own heart, his own purpose. Ofttimes, men such as we are, we do not see the truth of our own destinies."
He ran his fingers down her pale cheek. "If he does not spend this night with you, and the darkness grows unbearable, I'm but a phone call away."
"I can't…"
He placed his fingers on her lips. "I can hold back the darkness," he promised her softly. "Not your need for the one you love. I won't try to arouse you, little one, merely hold you. Sometimes, we just need that warmth in the dark, yes?"
Her fingers touched the back of his hand, a sad smile shaped her lips, and he knew she would never call.
"You deserve a very special woman, Khalid," she whispered.
He shook his head. "I deserve far less than you believe."
He stared around the room, and wondered if his debt to her had been eased yet. A part of him felt it had not. The night he had nearly participated in the most horrific event a woman could be forced into still seared his memory.
He had sworn to himself he would never take so much as a smile that a woman did not wish to give him. That he would bring them only pleasure, never pain. Yet this delicate woman, so young, so winsome and sensual, he had nearly helped to destroy.
He heard the water in the bathroom shut off.
"I will go for now." He rose from the bed. "Should you need me, Kia…"
She nodded as she rose up in the bed and glanced at the door before turning back to him. "I'll call."
But he knew she wouldn't, just as she knew it.
He sighed at the thought and nodded before turning and leaving the room, and then the apartment. What more could he do at this point? This night? Tomorrow might be another matter entirely.
Kia watched as the bathroom door opened and Chase walked out, tucking his shirt into his pants. She stood by the bed belting her robe, and when he stared at her silently she stifled a sigh.
Yes, he was leaving. She hadn't expected anything more. She felt the tightness around her eyes, the tears that wanted to fill them, and pushed her fingers through her hair before leaving the bedroom.
He followed, watching in silence as she came to a stop beside the door.
Letting him go without begging him to stay was the hardest tiling she had ever done. Not because she needed him to hold back the night. Because she needed him to hold her. Because she was learning she needed more than just the pleasure.
"Don't bother coming back unless you come back alone."
She saw the surprise that surged into his eyes. But how could he be surprised? Surely he hadn't thought it would continue like this indefinitely. That she would always be the little plaything that he could share with his friends and she would never ask for anything more.