And none of what had happened had been Mick’s fault. In fact, she was grateful he’d been the one to step in and pluck Nathan out of that situation. Had she been the one to walk into that house, she’d have likely flipped out and embarrassed her son. From what Nathan told her—as much as he could remember—Mick had been calm and had taken Nathan out of there without a scene. Tara would have most definitely caused a scene. She was certain shrieking would have been involved. And she’d have probably called the parents of every kid there, which would have mortified Nathan, who probably would have never spoken to her again. She was so glad Mick had been there and acted rationally on Nathan’s behalf.
But had she thanked him profusely? No. She’d basically blamed him for it. Not directly, of course, but indirectly she’d pointed the finger at Mick for all her failings as a mother.
God. She let her head rest against her arms and just shut it all out for a few minutes.
“Thinking of ending it all?”
Her head shot up, and she gaped at Maggie, who leaned in the doorway to her office. “Pondering it, especially if you’re bringing me some new catastrophe. I’m full up at the moment.”
“No crisis to report, but Jenna called while you were on the phone earlier, and she has final RSVPs for the anniversary party so I have your head count, plus she wanted to go over place settings and something about the caterer.”
Oh, hell. The anniversary party for Mick’s parents was coming up this weekend. And Nathan’s birthday was this weekend, too. She laid her head in her hands and closed her eyes, wishing she could be anywhere but here.
Maggie shut the door. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Everything.”
“I’ve got time. Shoot.”
Tara laid it all out for Maggie, skipping nothing. She told her about Nathan getting drunk and Mick picking him up, and Tara not being there because Tara was off counseling Maggie, even though Maggie would probably feel guilty about that. But she and Maggie were best friends, and Maggie would understand it had nothing to do with her.
“So this is all Mick’s fault.”
Tara leaned forward and folded her hands together. “Of course it isn’t his fault.”
“Seems to me you’re blaming him for everything from Nathan getting drunk to you feeling like you’re not quite perfect at the job of superwoman.”
That one hurt. “Screw you, Maggie.”
“No, thanks. I like men. Look, Tara, wasn’t it you who just a few short days ago told me I can’t save my brother? That I need to let him fall on his face and I’m only enabling him by bailing his ass out every time he f**ks up?”
“Yes. I did tell you that, because it’s the truth.”
“Well, it hurt me when you told me that. But you were right. And now I’m going to hurt you by telling you that you’re trying to be everything to everybody, and in the end you have to realize you can’t. It’s okay to have an awesome career you love and be a mom at the same time. It’s okay to try to date at the same time you’re juggling said career and said kid, and it’s okay to not do any of it perfectly. You’re going to screw it all up now and then. You have to give yourself a break.”
“Easier said than done. What happened with Nathan scared me.”
“Because he got drunk? Please. Kids do that. They screw up. So did I at that age. So did you.”
“I know. God, don’t I know. I don’t want him to make the same mistakes I did.”
“But you can’t follow behind him every step he takes to try to prevent it from happening, either. You’ll smother him if you try. Let him fall a few times and see what happens.”
She inhaled and let it out on a shaky sigh. “I’ll try. No guarantees.”
“And in the meantime, go apologize to your hunky boyfriend for blaming him because your idiot son got drunk.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I think you’re right about that one. I hurt him.”
Maggie nodded. “Okay, so kiss the boo-boo and make it better.”
TARA ALMOST DIDN’T MAKE THE TRIP TO SAINT LOUIS for the party. She could have handled it all long distance, but this was business and her reputation was at stake, and besides, she’d promised Nathan a baseball game for his birthday. Despite him being punished for being drunk the weekend before, it was still his birthday, and she wouldn’t take this away from him.
So she’d made the trip with Mick, who was surprisingly still speaking to her, though things between them were strained and she hadn’t had a moment alone with him to talk to him about it. She’d had to work nonstop before they left Friday, and then of course Nathan was with them. And even Nathan was having a hard time making conversation with Mick, no doubt because he was highly embarrassed about the prior weekend, which he rightly should be. He’d apologized to Mick for the drunken episode, and thankfully Mick hadn’t brushed it aside or said it was no big deal. He’d accepted Nathan’s apology but said nothing further.
So they’d sat on the airplane together and talked about ... nothing. Fortunately, Mick had picked up the slack and talked to Nathan about his practice with the team the past couple days, working out with his trainer, meeting with his nutritionist, and the two of them had talked about a couple other guys on the team. He’d kept the conversation flowing, and Tara had opened her laptop and worked so she wouldn’t have to say much other than interject a few “Oh, that’s interestings” and “Reallys” and “That’s greats.” It had been uncomfortable, and she’d actually been glad when they arrived at Mick’s parents’ house.
“Tara, I’m so happy to see you again.” Kathleen had folded her into a hug.
“I’m happy to be here.” That much was true. She liked Mick’s mother, and wished she could talk to her about the tension between her and Mick, but that would be kind of difficult.
Kathleen had hugged Nathan, too, who didn’t seem to mind it at all. He’d even managed a huge smile when Jimmy rounded the corner from the other room and enveloped Nathan in a bear hug.
“Missed you, kid. No one to shoot hoops with.”
“No one to kick your butt, you mean?”
“Nathan,” Tara admonished.
“Hey, he just thinks he’s that good,” Jimmy said, slinging his arm around Nathan’s shoulders. “But, like Mick and Gavin and Jenna, they soon learn they’re outmatched by the master.”