OK, she was feeling a bit less faint as she dimmed the lights and turned on the screen projector. This was her first job and she was grateful to be teaching.
The last two years hadn’t been easy for Ari, but she’d worked hard, studying longer, jogging for miles upon miles to try to relieve the constant ache in her body, and spending what little free time she allowed for herself with her mother and friends.
The most difficult of times was being with Lia and Rachel. She loved them both so much, but they were a reminder of what she’d never again have.
Rafe.
It seemed that not a single day could pass without a thought of him fluttering through her mind. Time had lessened the ache but hadn’t removed it altogether. Love for a man like Rafe didn’t disappear overnight — apparently, not even after two years. She didn’t regret her decision to walk away — it was what she’d had to do — but still, she missed him. Missed his smile and his laughter, missed the way his hands had caressed her body.
The few dates she’d attempted since leaving him had been a joke. No man could measure up to Rafe Palazzo. Yes, he’d been controlling and had pushed her in ways she still couldn’t believe — he’d had her doing things she’d never thought she’d enjoy — but he’d also changed her forever.
She could never go back to that innocent girl she’d been. Rafe had opened her eyes to a new world, and it was a place she’d enjoyed. She would never settle for less than love, but she did miss the excitement the man provided. Missed the hunger that swelled into desire from deep within whenever he touched her.
Rafe was many things, but boring wasn’t one of them. No man had stirred her the way he had, and she missed him desperately, though she never admitted that — not even to herself. What good would it do her?
Shaking off the melancholy thoughts, Ari focused on the meticulously written out notes in front of her as she began her carefully planned-out lecture. Too nervous to focus on the students, she was relieved when class was nearly over and it came time for them to ask questions.
Please, someone have something to ask was her only hope in that moment. The next few minutes passed with several questions, and the stiffness eased from her body. Only a couple of minutes more to go and she could call her first class a success.
“Are there any more questions?” This she would soon regret asking.
“Yes. Will you join me for dinner tonight?”
Ari’s body stiffened and her face flushed. She would never, ever forget that voice — it haunted her in her dreams, making her wake up aching and empty. It trailed her as she walked the streets and heard a man’s laughter. It caressed her body when she lay in bed at night and ran through the various conversations they’d had.
Ari’s ears were ringing too loudly for her to hear the chuckling in her classroom as she lifted her head and her eyes locked with Rafe’s purple-and-blue gaze.
Sitting comfortably in the back of the classroom, he took her breath away with his confident grin. Two years since she’d last laid eyes on him, and he still looked deliciously perfect. Several students turned his way, the girls batting their eyelashes, the guys wanting to be him. It was obvious to anyone present that he was a man who would always get his way.
Some people you were drawn to simply because of their confidence. Rafe was one of them. There was nothing about him that shouted insecure. His command was obvious from his very demeanor.
No! She reminded herself. He didn’t always get his way. He’d wanted her, and she’d had the courage to walk away because he hadn’t been willing to give her what she deserved. He might have been a man in charge, but that didn’t lessen who she was. She’d stood up, been strong and hadn’t stopped her forward momentum for a single instant once she’d finally gained the courage.
Yes, her heart had shattered that day she’d left his home, then shattered again when she walked away from him at her college graduation. However, she hadn’t let it stop her. She’d accepted the pain, had felt it to the utmost, but she hadn’t let it define her. She’d moved on.
When she’d come to the realization that, yes, love could be magical but that magic was still only an illusion, her pain had eased. It took time and effort to make love last if you wanted it to go beyond that illusion, that vision. Rafe had expected to get what he wanted without putting in the effort. It was his loss.
Looking him straight in the eyes — showing him she wasn’t afraid — she spoke. “Are there any questions pertaining to the lecture?” Only the slightest bit of breathlessness entered her words as she forced her gaze from his in a deliberately measured way.
The room was silent, apart from a few remaining snickers.
“Very well, then. On Wednesday, upon your return, I want the questions at the end of the chapter done and turned in. We’ll be discussing the Civil War all semester, and I expect you to learn a heck of a lot more than who fought and the dates it happened. By the time you move on to your next subject, you should have a basic understanding of why this war took place, and the lives that it affected. Thank you. Class is dismissed.”
Ari turned back to her desk and sat down, her knees shaky. Her hope was that Rafe would rush from the room with the rest of the students, but Ari wasn’t a fool. Rafe was there for a purpose and that she’d ignored him didn’t mean he’d simply turn and walk away. That wasn’t who he was.
Rafe would have his say, and she’d just have to bear up while he did it.
Be strong, she commanded herself as she heard the din of students’ voices fading. She greatly wished at that moment for another class to be entering, but it was the end of the night and she was teaching only one class a day, Mondays and Wednesdays.
Toying with the thought of running from the room, she knew she’d never make it. Plus, Rafe would get the satisfaction of seeing her try to escape. She refused to reveal how much he still affected her. She absolutely rejected the thought of showing weakness in his presence.
“I’ve missed you, Ari, more than you could possibly imagine.”
The familiarity of his voice stimulated every cell in her body while his scent swirled around her, draining the strength in her knees even more, and she was grateful to be sitting. How could he still have such power over her? How could she have such strong feelings about a man who had shattered her heart, leaving her to pick up the pieces of her life, alone?