“She hasn’t been taking her pills since her attack. She didn’t realize it until Dr. Kay mentioned it this morning.”
Sam nods, looking far calmer than I feel. “That’s perfectly understandable, Luc. She has been dealing with a lot.”
I nervously shred a napkin with my fingers as I stare into my drink. “I know that, and I’m not blaming her. It just…threw me. I shouldn’t have been so damn careless. I mean, how many times do I need to learn that lesson?”
“Lia isn’t Cassie, and you don’t even know that she is pregnant, do you?”
I find myself glaring at one of the few people in my life who I love. I’m not in the mood to be soothed; I want to drink and forget. “Don’t you think that I, of all people, know the difference between Lia and Cassie?”
“Do you?” he throws back immediately, causing me to surge to my feet unsteadily. “Sit down!” he snaps, and I’m so surprised by the command in his tone that I obey instantly. He turns sideways on his bench to face me fully. “Luc, you’re like a son to me and I love you. You’re a rich, successful man with more drive and ambition than anyone I’ve ever known. You’ve bottled up every ounce of rage inside you and used it to succeed beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. You keep women in a neat corner of your life and never allow yourself to feel anything for them.”
“There’s a woman living with me right now, Sam, and she doesn’t fit into any ‘neat corner of my life,’ trust me on that.” I say, hoping he’ll stop talking. He’s forcing me to think, and that’s the last thing I want to do tonight.
“She may not fit in a neat corner, but she fits with you perfectly. She loves you, Luc, and not just for what you can give her. That girl has been to Hell and back just as you have. Unlike Cassie, it has only made her stronger. She is your match in every way, and I think you know that.”
My gut clenches as I say the truth, which haunts me. “I can’t lose anyone else I love. I won’t survive it.”
“Something can happen to any of us at any time. There are no guarantees in life, son. I wish there were. What I do know is that Lia loves you and you love her, as well. You can deny it to yourself all you want, but it’s been plain to everyone else almost from the beginning. You’ve never let another woman this close to you, even Cassie, if we’re being honest.”
“After all that has happened to Lia, the thought of her being pregnant fucking terrifies me,” I tell him. “It caused something inside of Cassie to snap. What if the same thing happens to Lia? You know they come from similar pasts.”
“Maybe they do,” Sam admits, “but that’s all they have in common. Cassie was always different. I’ve never seen someone’s mood alter as fast as hers could, and she thrived on causing conflict between you and Aidan. Cassie wasn’t happy unless someone around her was unhappy, which was usually Aidan.”
I’m completely surprised by his words. I mean, I knew Aidan was pissed off a lot of the time because he loved Cassie and wanted her to return his feelings. We were all friends, though, and I never noticed her trying to start trouble between us. On the contrary, most of her attention seemed to be centered on controlling me through a mixture of threats, blackmail, and whatever mind game she could dream up that day. “I think you’re mistaken about that,” I try to tell Sam. “Cassie loved the attention we both gave her too much to want to push Aidan away.”
Sam gives me a sad smile before saying, “She didn’t want Aidan to leave her, and she wanted him to turn against you. She wanted to be the sole focus of you both, and that happened more when you were at odds with your friend. That way you both turned to her, and she was number one within your group.” When I start to protest, he adds, “It’s always easier for someone on the outside to see things that people close to the situation miss. I spent even more time around you back then than I do now. I knew that something would happen between you all eventually. I just…couldn’t have guessed what she would do. I’m sorry, Luc; maybe we should have talked about this years ago.”
I mull over his words, knowing he’s right. Cassie was constantly saying negative things about Aidan to me back then, and if what Sam says is true, then she was probably doing the same to him. Our friendship was severely strained in high school and college, and our worst arguments usually occurred when one of us had spent time alone with Cassie. I always put it down to competitive jealousy, but maybe that was not the case. It was so long ago that I’m not sure it even matters anymore other than to add a new element to what is already a tragic story between friends. I put my hand on Sam’s arm. “There is nothing you could have said back then that would have mattered.” Giving him a tired grin, I add, “We knew it all, remember?” If I’d have seen Cassie for who she really was that first day we met, I’d have fucking run and never looked back.
Sam laughs softly, nodding his head. “You certainly did. Now, why don’t you let me be the know-it-all tonight and tell you to crawl out of that bottle of bourbon while you can still walk and go home. Things are different for you now, Luc. If Lia is pregnant, that will be different, as well. Your past only defines you if you let it.”
I reluctantly push my glass aside, knowing he’s right. I can’t keep making Lia pay for Cassie’s sins; she has already paid far too much in her life for other people’s mistakes. I signal for the bill from my still-overly-friendly bartender and turn back to Sam. “Thanks for the talk and for wasting your evening in a bar with me.”
“It’s fine. Cindy’s doing something with her church group tonight, so I had nothing but time on my hands. I might have possibly been doing a final drive-by of your apartment when Lia called, so I was in the area.”
I knew Sam was keeping an eye out for Lia so that doesn’t surprise me, but his casual referral to Cindy does. Of course, I know there was something going on between them; I’m not blind. However, neither has ever come out and admitted it as he just has. “So, you and Cindy, huh…?”
He doesn’t look the slightest bit uncomfortable as he says easily, “Of course. Don’t even try to act surprised; it’s not as if it’s exactly a secret. Cindy just didn’t want to advertise the fact at the office. Personally, I couldn’t care less. Life’s too short to spend time pretending. I’d marry that woman tomorrow if she’d only say yes.”